Switch

were before. Paul held the paper with both hands.

'Thank you, Paige,' he said. 'This is exemplary work.'

'Thank you,' I said graciously.

We did have an understanding, after al.

Chapter 15

Through the mailbox window I could see Alice, one of the

women who ran the office. I could also see the thin edge

of a folded note card.

I puled it out with the tips of my fingers and held it by the

edges so as not to muss the paper. Al I had to do was

bend, just a little, and slip it directly into the right box. But

of course, I read it first.

You've failed at every task I've set you. Your reward and

your punishment are in my hands. If you cannot learn

discipline, this wil end.

You have one more chance.

Today, between 5:00 and 6:00 p.m., you wil visit

Sensations. There you wil purchase the item that most

embarrasses you. You wil pay for it with a credit card, so

there wil be no question that the clerk won't know your

name. You wil engage the clerk in pleasant conversation,

so there is no way he or she wil not know your face.

And tonight, you will use that item until you achieve

And tonight, you will use that item until you achieve

orgasm. You will do this knowing it's not for your

pleasure.

It is for mine.

I had to put my hand on the wal and close my eyes after I

slid the card through the slot. The brass, cool under my

palm, did nothing to steal the heat from my cheeks, my

armpits. The inferno between my legs.

I hadn't been the one to fail. I hadn't been late with my

essay on discipline. I hadn't even written one.

This note was not for me!

Yet there was no question in my mind I would do as it

said. I had written the sexual fantasy. I'd read al the notes.

Whoever was meant to find these and folow them, I had

done it, too.

Looking back, I understand how much easier it would

have been, how much better sense it would have made for

me to simply complain at the office about the misdeliveries,

to throw the notes away. To knock on the door of 114

with a note in my hand and say, 'Make sure these stop

coming.'

coming.'

I can't explain why I didn't, except to say, simply, I didn't

want to.

I'd moved away from home to get away from my past and

my life, and the life I didn't want to have there. I'd taken a

new job, found a new apartment, tried to make new