“He won’t be crowned today,” said Finn. “My guess is that he won’t come around for at least eight or ten hours.”
Von Tarlenheim licked his lips. “This is a disaster,” he said. “We shall have to send word that he’s ill.”
“We are ruined,” said Sapt. “If he’s not crowned today, I’ll lay a crown he’s never crowned.” “But why?” said Finn. “Surely, it can’t be so serious?” “Serious?” said Sapt. “The whole nation will be there to meet him and half the army with Black Michael at its head. Shall we send word that the king is drunk?” “That he’s ill,” said Finn.
“Ill!” said Sapt. “His ‘illnesses’ are only too well known. Rudolf’s been ‘Ill’ before.”
“There’s nothing to be done,” said von Tarlenheim. “We shall simply have to put on a sober face and make the best of it. I say,” he paused, “that was a poor choice of words, under the circumstances.”
“I should have known,” said Sapt. “I should have known that he would try something of this sort, but I did not give him enough credit. He’s let Rudolf be hoist with his own petard!” He slapped the king again. “The drunken dog! Still, I’ll rot in hell before I see Black Michael sit on the throne in his place!” Sapt chewed furiously on one end of his moustache, his brow deeply furrowed.
“Surely, something can be done!” said von Tarlenheim, though his tone of voice did not hold forth much hope. Suddenly, Sapt looked up, staring at Delaney. Finn played dumb and simply stood there, looking bewildered, as did von Tarlenheim for a moment or two, until he realized what Sapt was thinking.
“No!” he whispered softly, looking from Sapt to Finn and back again.
“Yes, by God!” said Sapt. “It just might work!”
Finn gauged the moment right to “realize” what they intended, but he had to play it well. “Oh, no,” he said, stepping back from them and snaking his head.
“Rassendyll, do you believe in Fate?” said Sapt.
You don’t want to know, thought Finn.
“It was Fate that sent you here, man, and now it’s Fate that beckons you to Strelsau.”
“It would never work,” said Finn. “They’d know that I was not the king!”
“If you shave?” said Sapt. “Who would ever expect it? You’d be his spitting image.”
“I’d be bound to make some blunder,” Finn said.
“We shall be beside you every moment,” Sapt said. “Granted, it’s a risk. Are you afraid, lad?”
“Sir!” said Finn, in mock outrage at the suggestion.
“Don’t take offense,” said Sapt, “it’s your life that will be on the line, and ours as well if we are caught. But if we do not make the attempt, it is a certain thing that Black Michael will be the one sitting on the throne tonight and the king in prison or even in his grave. You do not know Black Michael. Fritz will bear me out that I do not overstate the danger.”
“But what will the king say when he finds out?” said Finn.
“Who cares what he says?” said Sapt. “It’s his own worthless hide that we’ll be saving. I daresay that he might even learn from this, though I hold out no great hope. What do you say, man? In truth, you owe us nothing and not a man on earth could blame you if you were to refuse, but you’re the one chance that we have; you see that, don’t you?”
Finn decided that he made enough protestations for the sake of appearances. He looked down at the unconscious form of Rudolf Elphberg, wondering if perhaps Ruritania would not be better served by having his brother on the throne.
“Yes, of course, I see,” he said.
“You’ll do it, then?” said Sapt, eagerly. Finn took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s insane,” he said, “but yes, I’ll do it.”
“Good man!” said Sapt, relieved. “Listen, then, this is how we must bring it off. Fritz and I will prepare you to the best of our abilities. The ceremony itself is simple enough; an idiot could get through it. We’ll hide the king here. We shall be staying in the palace at Strelsau tonight. The very moment we are left alone after the coronation, you and I will mount and ride here at the gallop. Fritz will stay behind at the palace to make certain that no one enters the royal bedchambers. When the king awakens here, Josef will tell him what has transpired. We may depend on him, he has served the king since boyhood. The king will then ride back with me to Strelsau and you must make all speed to the frontier.”
“There’s a chance,” said Fritz, nodding. “Yes, it could work!”
Sapt went to the door and called for Josef, who paled when he saw the king lying on the floor. As quickly as he could, Sapt filled the old man in and sent him for a razor. Josef moved quickly and returned in moments with hot water, soap, and several razors. Finn was not encouraged when he saw how badly the old man’s hand was shaking, but he sat down in a chair and submitted to the barbering.
“Christ!” von Tarlenheim said, jumping to his feet. “We forgot about the guard!”
“We won’t wait for the guard,” said Sapt. “We shall take the train from Hofban. We’ll be long gone by the time they come.”
“But what of the king?” said Fritz.
“I’ll carry him down to the wine cellar. Josef will stay with him.”
“But suppose they find him?”
Simon Hawke
The Zenda Vendetta
“They won’t. Why should they bother looking? They don’t know about Cousin Rudolf, here. I’ll take His Drunken Majesty down there right now.”
Sapt bent down and picked the king up easily, throwing his body over his shoulders as if it were a sack of flour. He moved quickly to the door and opened it, revealing the old woman who had served them the previous night standing in the doorway. She immediately spun around and went off without a word.
“You think she heard?” said Fritz. “Heaven help us if she did; she’s Michael’s servant.”
“Leave her to me,” said Sapt. He went out with the king, shutting the door behind him. Fritz von Tarlenheim watched as Delaney’s beard was shaved. When Josef was done, having managed to avoid shedding any of Finn’s blood, Fritz stood back and examined the results.
“I really do believe we’ll pull it off!” he said. “I don’t think I’d know you from the king myself!”
Sapt returned in a short while, having taken the king down to the cellar. He told them that he had taken the old woman there as well and left her bound and gagged beside the king, where Josef could watch them both.
“By the time she tells anything she heard to Michael,” Sapt said, “the coronation will be over, the king will be in the palace, and Cousin Rudolf will be on his way to London. Let Black Michael try to prove that anything untoward happened. He will have been beaten. When the old woman tells him about Cousin Rudolf here, he’ll know just how we did it. He can stew till hell freezes over and be powerless to change a thing!”
They brought the king’s uniform and helped Finn put it on; then they dressed in their own. Finn was given the king’s helmet and sword and with two hours to spare before the guard was due, they mounted up and rode at a breakneck pace to the village of Hofban, where they took the first train to Strelsau. On the way, both Sapt and von Tarlenheim briefed Finn as to what he could expect, what to look out for, whom to know and how, and what the proper etiquette was for all that he could be expected to go through.
From the time that they had left the lodge to the time they boarded the train, Finn had seen no sign of Andre, Derringer, or Lucas. He hoped that they were keeping on top of things. Sapt and von Tarlenheim both drilled him ceaselessly, making him mimic the king’s voice until he had the pitch and intonation down. Both men seemed as delighted with his performance as two schoolboys in the midst of planning a great prank. However, as the train drew closer to Strelsau, they both began to show their nervousness. Finn was nervous, too, but not so much because of his impersonation as because he did not know where the others were and he had no idea what he could expect from Falcon. Soon, the towers of the palace were visible from the windows of the train and then the city of Strelsau came into view.
“Your capital, my liege,” said Sapt. He looked at Finn intently. “How do you feel?”
“Positively regal,” Finn said.
Sapt chuckled. “You’ll do. Fritz, you look white as a sheet. Drain your flask, for God’s sake, and put some color in your cheeks.”
As the train pulled up to the platform, Sapt glanced outside and nodded to himself. “Things look well,” he said. “We are early and no one expects us on this train. No one’s here to meet us yet. We’ll send word of Your Majesty’s arrival, meanwhile-”
