'You talk ‘o better food for us, an’ schools, an’ fires, an’all:
We’ll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don’t mess about the cook-room stops, but prove it to our face
The Widow’s Uniform is not the soldier-man’s disgrace.'
Delaney joined in with her on the chorus, and after a moment’s disbelieving hesitation, the others did as well.
'For it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ ‘Chuck him out, the brute!’
But it’s ‘Savior of ‘is country’ when the guns begin to shoot;
An’ it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ anything you please,
An’ Tom my ain’t a bloomin’fool, you bet that Tommy sees! '
‘Pon my soul, miss,' said Mulvaney. rising to his feet along with the others, 'that was a right proper finish to a right proper barracks song. An’ it’s the first time I ever ‘eard a lady sing so lustily since I was in the good of’ East End at Miss Violet McKerizie’s-' 'Tavern,' Learoyd said very quickly. 'She was a lovely singer, Miss McKenzie was. Warmed our hearts to hear her sing, it did.'
Mulvaney turned crimson and looked down at the floor. Ortheris pretended to have something caught in his throat.
I’m very flattered, gentlemen,' said Andre, 'to be compared to someone with so much … warmth.'
Ortheris broke into a fit of coughing.
'Do sit down, gentlemen,' said Andre. 'No need to stand on my account. And someone please give Private Ortheris a drink before he strangulates himself. Then someone can give me one, as well.'
'So how did your conference with the general go, Father'' Delaney said.
'He attempted to induce me to change my mind,' said Lucas, 'but said I would be welcome to accompany the force if I was dead set on going.'
'Well, then, welcome to you, Father,' said Mulvaney. 'An’ mind now, you boys watch your lips in the presence o’ the clergy an’ his lady!'
'Somehow that didn’t quite come out sounding right, Mulvaney,' said Learoyd wryly.
'Well, bleedin’ ‘Ell,' Mulvaney said, you know what I damn well mean!'
Learoyd rolled his eyes.
'Perhaps you gentlemen could be of some assistance,' Lucas said. 'Where might I find a Hindustani attendant for myself and Miss Cross on the march''
Before anyone could reply, a thin, bedraggled young Hindu dressed in nothing save a dhoti and a turban leaped up from where he had been crouching in a dim corner like a dog and came running up to stand bowing before Lucas.
'Father Sahib wishes khawasin' I am good khawasin! Work very hard! Very cheap! Serve very well! Take good care of Father Sahib and Memsahib!'
‘Well, it seems we have a volunteer,' said Lucas.
'You could do better than him, Father,' said Learoyd. 'He wouldn’t be your best choice. He’s an untouchable, you see. Outside the caste system. None of the other Hindus would have anythin’ to do with him. Poor beggar wouldn’t have any company on the march at all, no one to talk to.'
'He could talk to us,' said Andre.
'Any reason why we can’t take him'' said Lucas.
'The choice is yours, Father,' said Learoyd.
'Good. It’s settled, then.'
The Hindu dropped to his knees and began kissing Lucas’s boots, intermingling English thank-yous with a torrent of Hindi.
'Come on now, up with you, Din!' said Mulvaney, hauling him to his feet. 'That’s no way to act before a proper Englishman! ‘E’s a priest, not no bleedin’ rajah! '
'Well, you bought yourself a faithful hound, Father,' said Learoyd. 'His name is Gunga Din and he speaks English, after a fashion. Nice enough chap, though a bit childlike, like most of his sort. He followed the regiment here all the way from Simla. He’s been a sort of unofficial regimental bhisti, but I guess he’s yours now.'
'Is that all he has to wear'' said Lucas.
'It’s all 'e' s got, period,' said Mulvaney. 'Not 'ardly equipped for a march to Chitral, ‘e ain’t. '
'Well, we shall have to do something about that,' said Lucas. 'We’ll have to send him to the quartermaster to get properly equipped and to get some decent clothing.'
Din’s face lit up. 'Uniform, Father Sahib' Din be good soldier with uniform!'
'Soldier'' said Mulvaney, while Din shrank back from him.
'Why not'' said Lucas.
'Why not, indeed'' said Ortheris. 'Just send ‘im over to the quartermaster and tell ‘im to ask for a full kit and a suit of khakis. The quartermaster, kind soul that ‘e is, will comply without a moment’s ‘esitation.' The men laughed.
Din’s face took on a crestfallen expression as he saw his hopes of obtaining a khaki uniform fade as quickly as they had arisen.
'Well, now, surely if the quartermaster knew it was for me,' said Lucas, 'he’d do it. After all, we can’t very well have Miss Cross being attended by a half naked man.'
'Right,' Delaney said. 'Ortheris, since you pointed out the problem, perhaps you’d be so good as to accompany Din to see the quartermaster''
'Per’aps I will,' said Ortheris, 'after I’ve done with this whiskey.'
'Now, Ortheris,' said Delaney.
Ortheris scowled. 'I knew it was too good to last,' he said. 'Sooner or later an officer’s bound to start actin’ like an officer. Come on then, Din. We’ll go an’ get you your soldier suit.'
He left with the joyful Gunga Din in tow. Learoyd smiled. 'I’d say you made yourself a friend for life there, Father.'
'From what I hear about where we’re going, I’d say I could use all the friends I can get,' said Lucas. 'Tell me, Private Mulvaney-'
'Just plain ol’ Mulvaney, Father. Everyone calls me that. '
'All right, Mulvaney. What can you tell me about what’s happening at Chakdarra' '
'Bloody fair mess is what’s ‘appenin’, if you ask me. Some damn fool sod in Simla, sittin’ on his bleedin’-'
'Mulvaney!' said Learoyd. 'Perhaps it would be better if I were to explain. Mind you now, Father, I’m not privy to what’s told to the command staff, but scuttlebutt is generally pretty reliable in this outfit. Chitral is some hundred fifty miles north of here and about four miles or so straight up. Now, because it looks so nice and well situated on a map, someone went and decided that the Sirkar ought to take an interest in it, as it were, and so a political agent was ensconced there. ‘Round about five years ago or so, the local high muckamuck there, a sort of king called the Mehtar of Chitral, Aman-ul-Mulk, by name, up and died. The problem was, Aman left about a score of sons and not much in the way of a proper line of succession. Several of them killed each other off while tryin’ to take the throne, and it looked as though things would eventually even out all by themselves, until Urnra Khan stepped into the picture. '
'Who’s Urnra Khan'' said Andre.
'A bloody Pathan warlord,' said Mulvaney.
'The Khan of Jandul,' Learoyd said. 'Also known amongst us all by several somewhat less exalted appellations. Actually, the whole thing was more or less our fault, in a way. If we’d kept ourselves well out of it, our boys wouldn’t now be in such a stew up there. Unfortunately the Forward Policy has its own curious sort of momentum. Arnan was always friendly to the Sirkar, and Simla had no trouble with him. In return for arms and ammunition, as well as six thousand rupees a year, he became our ally. We posted an agent to Gilgit and that was that. Then Aman decided that he wanted more, so the annual payment was doubled. There was no further trouble till Aman died. One of his sons, Aftal, happened to be in a position to seize the reins of power. He immediately
