go right now.' 'You mean it's true what I saw-what you told me about the-the Home? You're extraterrestrials?' 'Yes,' Valancy sighed. ''At least our grandparents were.' Then she smiled. 'But we're learning where we can fit into this world. Someday-someday we'll be able-' She changed the subject abruptly. 'You realize, of course, Dr. Curtis, that we'd rather you wouldn't discuss Bendo or us with anyone else. We would rather be just people to Outsiders.' He laughed shortly, 'Would I be believed if I did?' 'Maybe no, maybe so,' Valancy said. 'Maybe only enough to start people nosing around. And that would be too much. We have a bad situation here and it will take a long time to erase-' Her voice slipped into silence, and I knew she had dropped into thoughts to brief him on the local problem. How long is a thought? How fast can you think of hell-and heaven? It was that long before the doctor blinked and drew a shaky breath. 'Yes,' he said. 'A long time.' 'If you like,' Valancy said, 'I can block your ability to talk of us.' 'Nothing doing!' the doctor snapped. 'I can manage my own censorship, thanks.' Valancy flushed. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be condescending.' 'You weren't,' the doctor said. 'I'm just on the prod tonight. It has been a day, and that's for sure!' 'Hasn't it, though?' I smiled and then, astonished, rubbed my cheeks because tears had begun to spill down my face. I laughed, embarrassed, and couldn't stop. My laughter turned suddenly to sobs and I was bitterly ashamed to hear myself wailing like a child. I clung to Valancy's strong hands until I suddenly slid into a warm welcome darkness that had no thinking or fearing or need for believing in anything outrageous, but only in sleep. It was a magic year and it fled on impossibly fast wings, the holidays flicking past like telephone poles by a railroad. Christmas was especially magical because my angels actually flew and the glory actually shone round about because their robes had hems woven of sunlight-I watched the girls weave them. And Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, complete with cardboard antlers that wouldn't stay straight, really took off and circled the room. And as our Mary and Joseph leaned raptly over the manger, their faces solemn and intent on the miracle, I felt suddenly that they were really seeing, really kneeling beside the manger in Bethlehem. Anyway the months fled, and the blossoming of Bendo was beautiful to see. There was laughter and frolicking and even the houses grew subtly into color. Green things crept out where only rocks had been before, and a tiny tentative stream of water had begun to flow down the creek again. They explained to me that they had to take it slow because people might wonder if the creek filled overnight! Even the rough steps up to the houses were being overgrown because they were so seldom used, and I was becoming accustomed to seeing my pupils coming to school like a bevy of bright birds, playing tag in the treetops. I was surprised at myself for adjusting so easily to all the incredible things done around me by the People, and I was pleased that they accepted me so completely. But I always felt a pang when the children escorted me home-with me, they had to walk. But all things have to end, and one May afternoon I sat staring into my top desk drawer, the last to be cleaned out, wondering what to do with the accumulation of useless things in it. But I wasn't really seeing the contents of the drawer, I was concentrating on the great weary emptiness that pressed my shoulders down and weighted my mind. 'It's not fair,' I muttered aloud and illogically, 'to show me heaven and then snatch it away.' 'That's about what happened to Moses, too, you know.' My surprised start spilled an assortment of paper clips and thumbtacks from the battered box I had just picked up. 'Well, forevermore!' I said, righting the box. 'Dr. Curtis! What are you doing here?' 'Returning to the scene of my crime,' he smiled, coming through the open door. 'Can't keep my mind off Abie. Can't believe he recovered from all that-shall we call it repair work? I have to check him every time I'm anywhere near this part of the country-and I still can't believe it.' 'But he has.' 'He has for sure! I had to fish him down from a treetop to look him over-' The doctor shuddered dramatically and laughed. ''To see him hurtling down from the top of that tree curdled my blood! But there's hardly even a visible scar left.' 'I know,' I said, jabbing my finger as I started to gather up the tacks. ''I looked last night. I'm leaving tomorrow, you know.' I kept my eyes resolutely down to the job at hand. 'I have this last straightening up to do.' 'It's hard, isn't it?' he said, and we both knew he wasn't talking about straightening up. 'Yes,' I said soberly. 'Awfully hard. Earth gets heavier every day.' 'I find it so lately, too. But at least you have the satisfaction of knowing that you-' I moved uncomfortably and laughed. 'Well, they do say: those as can, do; those as can't, teach.' 'Umm,' the doctor said noncommittally, but I could feel his eyes on my averted face and I swiveled away from groping for a better box to put the clips in. 'Going to summer school?' His voice came from near the windows. 'No,' I sniffed cautiously. 'No, I swore when I got my Master's that I was through with education-at least the kind that's come-every-day-and-learn-something.' 'Hmm!' There was amusement in the doctor's voice. 'Too bad. I'm going to school this summer. Thought you might like to go there, too,' 'Where?' I asked bewildered, finally looking at him. 'Cougar Canyon summer school,' he smiled. 'Most exclusive.' 'Cougar Canyon! Why that's where Karen-' 'Exactly,' he said. 'That's where the other Group is established. I just came from there. Karen and Valancy want us both to come. Do you object to being an experiment?' 'Why, no-I cried, and then, cautiously, 'What kind of an experiment?' Visions oЈ brains being carved up swam through my mind. The doctor laughed. 'Nothing as gruesome as you're imagining, probably.' Then he sobered and sat on the edge of my desk. 'I've been to Cougar Canyon a couple of times, trying to figure out some way to get Bethie to help me when I come up against a case that's a puzzler. Valancy and Karen want to try a period of training with Outsiders-' he grimaced wryly, '-that's us-to see how much oЈ what they are can be transmitted by training. You know Bethie is half Outsider. Only her mother was of the People.' He was watching me intently. 'Yes,' I said absently, my mind whirling, 'Karen told me.' 'Well, do you want to try it? Do you want to go?' 'Do I want to go!' I cried, scrambling the clips into a rubber-band box. 'How soon do we leave? Half an hour? Ten minutes? Did you leave the motor running?' 'Woops, woops!' The doctor took me by both arms and looked soberly into my eyes. 'We can't set our hopes too high,' he said quietly. 'It may be that for such knowledge we aren't teachable-' I looked soberly back at him, my heart crying in fear that it might be so. 'Look,' I said slowly. 'If you had a hunger, a great big gnawing-inside hunger and no money and you saw a bakery shop window, which would you do? Turn your back on it? Or would you press your nose as close as you could against the glass and let at least your eyes feast? I know what I'd do.' I reached for my sweater. 'And, you know, you never can tell. The shop door might open a crack, maybe-someday-' 'I'D LIKE to talk with her a minute,' Lea said to Karen as the chattering group broke up. 'May I?' 'Why, sure,' Karen said. 'Melodye, have you a minute?' 'Oh, Karen!' Melodye threaded the rows back to Lea's corner. 'That was wonderful! It was just like living it for the first time again, only underneath I knew what was coming next. But even so my blood ran cold when Abie-' She shuddered.
