The Magic Cottage

'Ducks out of water?'

'Oh no, I didn't mean to imply that. I just felt this was kinda new to you.'

'Not quite for Midge—she was raised in the country. Me, I'm a novice.'

'You'll soon come to love it out here,' put in the girl, Gillie. 'I did.'

Midge tucked her arm into mine and leaned against me. 'You know the big house we came across on our walk yesterday, Mike?'

'Blea—the gray house?'

She nodded. 'That's where Hub, Gillie and Neil come from.'

'Really? You live there? All three of you?'

'More than three of us, Mike,' said Kinsella.

'What is it? A hotel, a health farm of some kind?'

'Neither of those. Why don't you drop by some time when you're settled and we'll show you around?'

'Yes, please do,' said Gillie, surprising us both by reaching out with both hands to touch our arms. 'The house is beautiful inside and we'd make you so welcome. Please say you'll come and visit.'

I was slightly taken aback with her enthusiasm, but Midge seemed pleased with the idea. 'That would be nice,' she told the girl. 'We were intrigued by the place yesterday, weren't we, Mike?'

'Yeah, intrigued.' I felt warning pressure from Midge's hand on my arm. 'Meanwhile we've got a small problem that needs attending to. I thought maybe you'd have some ideas as you live in these parts.'

Their expressions couldn't have conveyed more eagerness to help. Midge was curious.

'Bats have taken over the penthouse suite,' I explained, pointing back toward the cottage with a thumb. Turning to Midge, I said, 'That was what the noises were last night. They're up in the loft now, sleeping off the party.'

'Bats?' she said.

'Bats,' I replied.

'Oh, they're no great problem, Mike,' the American assured me. 'They really won't do any harm.'

'Maybe not, but they make me feel uncomfortable. I'd hate to wake up one night and find them toasting each other's health with our blood.'

They chuckled at that, although Gillie looked slightly queasy.

'No fear of that,' said Joby, folding insect arms across his chest. 'They mostly hunt around dusk and dawn. I can't imagine you'll find many vampire bats in Hampshire, anyway. If you leave them in peace they won't disturb you.'

'They're already disturbing me.'

'Oh, come on Mike,' said Midge. 'They're only like hamsters with wings.'

Her reaction—or lack of reaction—took me by surprise. I knew she adored animals, but all animals?

'Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about them by law,' Joby went on. 'They're a protected species, you see. Most of them have been wiped out in this country, mainly by pesticides and ignorance—people deliberately destroying them. Conservationists stepped in just in time to beg the government to act.'

'You're saying we can't touch those things?' I asked incredulously.

He bowed his head gravely. 'Mammals, actually. They're either the pipistrelle or the long-eared bat, depending on size—pipistrelle is the smallest.'

'I didn't take too close a look.'

'The pipistrelle favors woodlands, but is quite used to residential areas, and the long-eared bat likes to sleep in caves or cellars or lofts.'

'That sounds like our boy, then.'

'I promise you, you're in no danger from them. Insects and moths are what they like to eat, so they may even be doing you a favor.'

I was doubtful, but he seemed to know what he was talking about. Slowly shaking my head, I said, 'So it looks like we're stuck with them.'

The guy called Kinsella spoke in a conspiratorial voice: 'Look, Mike, if it really gets to be a bad problem, maybe we can help you smoke 'em out or somethin'. No one else need know.'

'Yeah, well, we'll see how it goes.'

He flashed those pearlies again. 'You know where to find us if you need any help at all, but we'd like to see you at any time.'

'Shall I fetch the gift, Hub?' The girl was looking up at him like a puppy dog looks at its master.

'Oh, sure, almost forgot.'

Gillie ducked into the open window of the car and drew out a square red biscuit tin. She held it over the gate toward Midge.

'One of our sisters is a fantastic cook, so when we realized you'd moved into Gramarye we asked her to make you a welcoming cake,' Gillie told us. 'Nothing very grand, but I think you'll enjoy it.'

'Our small way of welcoming you to the neighborhood,' said Kinsella, holding his arms away from his sides as though he could hug us.

'What a lovely thought,' Midge enthused, accepting the gift and beaming all over her pretty face. 'Perhaps we can invite you over once we're straight—we'd love that, wouldn't we, Mike?'

Kinsella cut in before I could respond. 'You can be sure we'll be saying hello from time to time. Once we've made friends we don't like to lose 'em.'

He said that with all geniality, so I wondered why it made me feel uneasy.

'Meanwhile,' he went on, 'we'll let you get on—I'm sure there's a lot to put right in the cottage. The previous owner was a little old to maintain the place properly, I guess.'

'You knew Flora Chaldean?' asked Midge.

'Oh, most people around here knew of her,' said Gillie.

'But no one got to know her,' said Kinsella. 'We spoke to her a coupla times, is all. Now you just remember what I told you: any help you need, you only have to call.'

'We'll remember, er, Hub,' I said. Then, 'Is that a nickname?'

'Short for Hubris. My folks had a sense of humor.'

Not much of one, I thought. 'Well, good meeting you and thanks for that info on bats. Doesn't help any, but at least I know where we stand.'

We shook hands rather formally, then the group climbed into their car, Kinsella taking the wheel. They waved from the windows as the Citroen pulled away, and we returned the waves, watching them until they had disappeared from view.

'Weren't they incredibly nice?' Midge exclaimed, holding up the cake box for me to see.

'I suppose so. A mite too friendly, maybe.'

'Oh, Mike, you're such an old cynic sometimes. They were only being neighborly. I wish a few more people had their outlook.'

'Yeah, but what are they, Midge? How come a mixed bunch like that is living together in a manor house? Did you notice Gillie referred to our cake-maker as sister?'

'What difference? They probably belong to some religious organization. What does it matter as long as they're nice people?'

I shrugged. 'Yeah, you're right. I felt a bit crowded, that's all, like they were too keen to get to know us.'

'How many times do I have to tell you: things are different in the countryside, people are friendlier. You mustn't be so suspicious.'

'Sorry, Midge, didn't mean to be. Finding those bats upset my peace of mind.'

Her tone softened. 'I can understand that. But it's true, you know, bats really are harmless.'

'So long as they know that.'

The slightest of breezes rustled the nearby trees and stirred the flowers. Midge tucked the cake tin under one arm and linked her other through mine. We strolled back to the cottage, the sun warm on our faces.

'Let's take a look at those monsters you're so afraid of,' she said coaxingly.

'You want to go up there?'