“You hold your tongue!” said Sir Hugh. “Sally, what happened?”
“I scarce know,” replied his sister. “I went out for a breath of air, and before I had gone above a dozen steps I heard someone running behind me, and turning, saw these two men coming for me, and waving their sticks. I tried to escape, but they caught me, and handled me so roughly that I was near to swooning away on the spot. Then, by the mercy of Providence, who should come riding by but Sir Tristram! I screamed to him for help—indeed, I thought I was to be murdered or beaten into insensibility—and he flung himself from his horse and rescued me! He knocked the fat man down, and when the other one made for him with his cudgel threw him sprawling in the road!”
“Tristram did that?” exclaimed Eustacie. “
Sir Hugh, his wrath giving place momentarily to professional interest, said: “Threw him a cross-buttock, did you?”
“On my hip,” said Shield. “You know the trick.”
Sir Hugh put up his glass and surveyed Mr Stubbs’s afflicted nose. “Drew his cork, too,” he observed, with satisfaction.
“No,” replied Sir Tristram. “I fancy Miss Thane deserves the credit for that.”
“I did hit him,” admitted Sarah.
“Good girl!” approved her brother. “A nice, flush hit it must have been. But what were they chasing you for? That’s what beats me.”
“They said I was Ludovic Lavenham, and they arrested me,” said Miss Thane.
Sir Hugh repeated blankly: “Said you were Ludovic Lavenham?” He looked at the Runners again. “They
“Drunk more like, sir,” put in the landlord unkindly. “They’ve spent the better part of the afternoon in my taproom, drinking Blue Ruin till you’d wonder they could walk straight.”
A protesting sound came from behind Mr Stubbs’s handkerchief.
“So that’s it, is it?” said Sir Hugh. “You’re right: they reek of gin!”
“It ain’t true, your Honour!” said Mr Peabody, much agitated. “If we had a drop just to keep the cold out —”
“Drop!” ejaculated the landlord. “Why, you’ve pretty near had all there is in the house!”
Mr Stubbs ventured to emerge from behind his handkerchief. “I take my solemn oath it ain’t true,” he said. “We suspicioned the lady was this Loodervic Lavenham—that’s how it come about.”
Sir Tristram looked him over critically. “That settles it: they must be badly foxed,” he remarked.
“Of course they are,” agreed Thane. “Thought my sister was a man? I never heard of anything to equal it! They’re so foxed they can’t see straight.”
Mr Peabody hastened to explain. “No, your Honour, no! It were all on account of that abigail we saw here, and which was turned off so sudden, and which we thought was the lady.”
“You are making matters worse for yourselves,” said Sir Tristram. “First you say you thought Miss Thane was Ludovic Lavenham, and now you say you thought she was my cousin’s abigail. Pray, what were you about to chase an abigail?”
“It’s as plain as a pikestaff what they were about,” said Thane severely.
“I knew she was a low, vulgar wretch!” cried Eustacie, swift to improve on this point.
The maligned Runners could only gape at her in dismay.
“Well, Wright shall know how his precious Runners conduct themselves once they are out of his reach!” promised Sir Hugh.
“But, your Honour—but, sir—it weren’t like that at all! It was the abigail we thought was Loodervic Lavenham, on account of her being such a great, strapping wench, and when Miss here came so cautious out of the back door, like as if she was scared someone might see her, it was natural we should be mistook in her. What would the lady go out walking for when it was almost dark?”
Sir Hugh turned to look at his sister, his judicial instincts roused. “I must say, it seems demmed odd to me,” he conceded. “What were you doing, Sally?”
Miss Thane, prompted partly by a spirit of pure mischief, and partly by a desire to be revenged on Sir Tristram for his inhuman suggestion of throwing cold water over her, turned her face away and implored her brother not to ask her that question.
“That’s all very well,” objected Thane, “but did you go out by the back door?”
“Yes,” said Miss Thane, covering her face with her hands.
“Why?” asked Sir Hugh, faintly puzzled.
“Oh,” said Miss Thane, the very picture of maidenly confusion, “must I tell you, indeed? I went to meet Sir Tristram.”
“Eh?” said Thane, taken aback.
Miss Thane found that she had underrated her opponent. Not a muscle quivered in Shield’s face. He said immediately: “This news should have been broken to you at a more suitable time, Thane. Spare your sister’s blushes, I beg of you!”
Miss Thane, for once put out of countenance, intervened in a hurry. “We cannot discuss such matters now! Do, pray, send those creatures away! I will believe they meant me no harm, but I vow and declare the very sight of them gives me a Spasm!”
This request was so much in accordance with the Runners’ own wishes that they both looked hopefully at Sir Hugh, and gave him to understand that if he cared to order them back to London, they would be very glad to obey him. The day’s disasters had succeeded in convincing them that their errand was futile; and their main concern now was not to arrest a fugitive from the Law but to induce Sir Hugh to refrain from complaining of them to his friend, Sampson Wright. They were not drunk, and their motives had been of the purest, but against the testimony of Sir Hugh, and his sister, and Sir Tristram, and the landlord, they did not feel that they had any hope of being attended to in Bow Street.
Somewhat to their surprise, Miss Thane came to their support, saying magnanimously that for her part she was ready to let the matter rest.
“Wright ought to know of it,” said Sir Hugh, shaking his head.
“Very true, but you forget that they have been punished already for their stupidity. Sir Tristram was very rough with them, you know.”
Sir Hugh was slightly mollified by this reflection. After telling the Runners that he hoped it would be a lesson to them, and warning them that if he ever caught sight of their faces again within the portals of the Red Lion it would be the worse for them, he waved them away. They assured him they would go back to London by the night mail, and with renewed apologies to Miss Thane, bowed themselves out of the inn as fast as they could.
“Well, now that they’ve taken themselves off,” said Nye, “I’ll go and let Mr Ludovic out of the cellar.”
Sir Hugh was not at the moment interested in Ludovic’s release. He was regarding Shield in a puzzled way, and as soon as the landlord had left the room, accompanied by Eustacie, said: “I dare say Sally knows what she’s about, but I don’t think you should appoint her to meet you like that. It’s not at all the thing. Besides, there’s no sense in it. If you want to see her, you can do it here, can’t you?
“I fear you can have no romantic leanings,” said Shield, before Miss Thane could speak. “A star-lit sky, the balmy night breezes—”
“But this is February! The breeze isn’t balmy at all—in fact, there’s been a demmed north wind blowing all day,” pointed out Sir Hugh.
“To persons deep in love,” said Sir Tristram soulfully, “any breeze is balmy.”
“Hateful wretch!” said Miss Thane, with deep feeling. “Pay no heed to him, Hugh! Of course, I did not go to meet him!”
Sir Tristram appeared to be overcome. “You play fast and loose with me,” he said reproachfully. “You have dashed my hopes to the ground, shattered my self-esteem—”
“If you say another word, I’ll box your ears!” threatened Miss Thane.
Sir Hugh shook his head at her in mild disapproval. “I see what it is: you’ve been flirting again,” he said.
“Don’t be so vulgar!” implored Miss Thane. “There’s not a word of truth in it! I went out merely to trick the Runners. Sir Tristram’s arrival was quite by chance.”
