Burton sat back in his chair, surprised. This theme of murder arising again, so soon after the conversation at the Cannibal Club! It was an extraordinary coincidence and it agitated the superstitious part of his character.
'Am I capable of cold-blooded murder? I think not. Might I kill in the heat of battle or in self-defence? Of course. I may have done so in Berbera; in such circumstances it's impossible to know the outcome of your shots or the cuts of your sword.'
'And what if you were in a position of authority and were required to send a man to his almost certain death?'
'I would fulfill my responsibilities.'
Lord Palmerston nodded as if satisfied. He reached into his waistcoat pocket, withdrew a snuff tin, and sprinkled a small heap of the fine powder onto the side of his right hand at the base of his thumb. This he raised to his nose and snorted.
He sniffed and turned another page. Burton noticed that the prime minister's fingernails were carefully manicured and coated with clear varnish.
'It was in '55,' continued Palmerston, 'the Berbera incident. Lieutenant John Hanning Speke was one of the men who accompanied you?'
'Yes.'
'Incidentally, I enquired after him last night. He's in the Penfold Private Sanatorium. He shot half his face off; they don't expect him to live.'
Burton nodded, his countenance iron hard. 'I know.'
Palmerston regarded him. 'Another enemy?'
'Apparently so. Are you?'
If Palmerston was shocked or surprised at the brazen question, he didn't show it. Mind you, mused Burton, the man was incapable of showing anything.
'Am I your enemy? No, I am not.'
'That's encouraging, anyway. Yes, Prime Minister, Lieutenant Speke did indeed accompany me into Somalia. I got a spear through the face and he was also injured. One of our companions, Lieutenant Stroyan, was killed. The following year, after brief service in the Crimea, I organised an expedition to central Africa in search of the source of the Nile. Speke accompanied me and afterwards he betrayed me. The press made the most of it and a confrontation between us was engineered. It was due to take place yesterday at the Bath Assembly Rooms. It didn't. So, that's the history done with. Perhaps now we can move on to my reason for being here?'
Palmerston's mouth opened and a mirthless cackle sounded, though his lips didn't smile.
'Oh my goodness!' he exclaimed. 'You are an impatient man!'
'I don't deny it. And to be perfectly frank, Prime Minister, I have a hangover and I badly need a piss, so I'd appreciate it if we could bypass the niceties and get to the core of the matter.'
Palmerston banged his right hand up and down on the desk, threw his head back, and let loose a rapid sawing noise, which Burton-phenomenal interpreter though he was-could only guess was laughter. It rasped rhyth mically for too long, passing quickly from genuine to affected, and developed a strange sibilance which, for a bizarre moment, made it seem as if the prime minister had developed a leak and was rapidly deflating.
Then Burton realised that the increasingly loud hiss was coming not from the man opposite but from the odd device on his desk. He turned his eyes to it in time to see the thing suddenly shake frantically. The needle of a gauge on its side swept over into a red-marked segment and, with a sound like a large bung being pulled from a container, the mechanism gave one last jerk and became silent and motionless. A wisp of steam floated from its top. The needle sank back to the left.
Palmerston closed his mouth, looked at the contraption, grunted, reached across, and flipped a switch. A small door swung open and a canister popped out into the prime minister's hand. He twisted the lid from it and pulled a pale blue sheet of paper from within. He read the note and nodded, then looked up at Burton and announced: 'You are approved!'
'How nice,' said Burton. 'By whom? For what?'
'Why, by Buckingham Palace! Our monarch is offering you a job!'
For once, Burton was at a loss for words. His jaw hung loosely.
Palmerston's face stretched sideways around the mouth in what might have been an attempted grin. It was not a pretty sight.
'That's why I called you here, Burton. The palace has taken an interest in you. It has been mooted that, with your rather unusual range of skills and-shall we say forceful?-personality, you can do the Empire a unique service; something no other man can offer. That's why this position has been created, specifically for you.'
Still Burton said nothing. His mind was racing, grappling with this entirely unexpected development-and also with the notion that someone at Buckingham Palace might somehow be listening in on this conversation.
'I must confess,' continued Palmerston, 'that you presented me with a quandary. I knew I had to do something with you but I had no idea what. Your talent for making enemies concerned me; I suspected that whatever post I gave you, you'd quickly become a liability. It was suggested, by one of my colleagues, that I should bury you in some remote consulate. Fernando Po was top of the list-do you know it?'
A nod. The only response Burton could manage.
Marry the bitch. Settle down. Become consul in Fernando Po, Brazil, Damascus, and wherever the fuck else they send you.
The words blazed through his mind.
'Who knows?' he jerked intently.
'Pardon?
'Who knows about this interview, the job, the consulate?'
'About the job, just myself and the palace.' Palmerston tapped the copper and glass apparatus. 'We have communicated privately on the matter. About you being here? The palace, myself, my private secretary, the guards on the door, the butler, any of the household staff who might have seen you come in. About the consulate? The palace, myself, and Lord Russell, who suggested you for the position. Why?'
Burton knew what Lord John Russell, the foreign secretary, looked like. He was an elderly, bald-headed, broad-faced man who in no way resembled the apparition of last night.
'I think,' said Burton slowly, 'there's the distinct possibility that either the government or the royal household has a spy in its midst.'
Palmerston became very still. His Adam's apple rose and fell.
'Explain,' he said softly.
Rapidly, without embellishment, Burton recounted the attack of the previous evening. Palmerston listened attentively and, for all the movement he made, he might have become the waxwork he so closely resembled.
When Burton had finished, the prime minister asked him to describe the apparition in greater detail.
The reply came: 'He was tall and emaciated with limbs long, thin, but wiry and strong. His head was encased in a large black, shiny, globular helmet around which a blue flame burned. From within the headgear red eyes, insane, glared at me. The face was skull-like: the cheeks sunken, the nose a blade, the mouth a slit. He wore a white skintight costume that resembled fish scales in texture. A lengthy black cloak with a white lining hung from his shoulders and a flat, circular lamplike affair was affixed to his chest, shining with a reddish light and emitting sparks. His hands were bony and talonlike. The feet and calves were encased by tight boots from which a springlike mechanism projected, attached to two-foot-high stilts.'
Burton paused.
'When I was on the pilgrimage,' he continued quietly, 'there was much talk of evil djan-'
'Djan?' interposed Palmerston.
'Sorry. It's the plural of `djinni,' the evil spirits that supposedly haunt the deserts. I consider myself a reasonably intelligent man, so, of course, I discounted the talk as mere superstition. However, if you were to tell me that last night I came face to face with one such, I might believe you.'
'Perhaps you did,' countered Palmerston. He glanced down as the instrument on his desk trembled and emitted a puff of steam. 'Have you ever heard of Spring Heeled Jack?'
Burton looked surprised. 'That never occurred to me!'
Spring Heeled Jack was a bogeyman, a mythical spook used by mothers to scare naughty children into submission: 'Behave! Or Spring Heeled Jack will come for you!'
