makes it sound as it should sound — like a naive fairy tale.

Inverting the Sonic Spectrum

Let’s explore the inverted spectrum a little further by twisting some other knobs. What if all the chirpy high notes on the piano (we do agree they are chirpy, dear reader, don’t we?) sounded very deep and low to, say, Diana Krall (though she always called them “high”), and all the deep low notes sounded chirpy and high to her (though she always called them “low”)? This, too, would be the “inverted spectrum” problem, merely involving a sonic spectrum instead of the visual one. Now this scenario strikes me as much less plausible than the original one involving colors, and I hope strikes you that way, too. But why would there be any fundamental difference between an auditory inverted spectrum and a visual one?

Well, it’s pretty clear that as musical notes sink lower and lower, the individual vibrations constituting them grow more and more perceptible. If you strike the leftmost key on a piano, you will feel very rapid pulsations at the same time as you (sort of) sense what pitch it is. Such a note is so low that we reach the boundary line between hearing it as a unitary pitch and hearing it — or rather, feeling it — as a rapid sequence of individual oscillations. The low “note” floats somewhere between singularity and plurality, somewhere between being auditory and being tactile. And if we had a piano that had fifteen or twenty extra keys further to the left (some Bosendorfers have a handful, but this piano would go quite a ways further down than they do), the superlow notes would start to feel even more like vibrations of our skin and bones rather than like pitches of sound. Two neighboring keys, when struck, wouldn’t produce distinguishable tones, but just low, gruff rumbles that felt like long, low, claps of thunder or distant explosions, or perhaps cars passing by with subwoofers blasting out their amazing primordial shaking rather than a singable sequence of pitches.

In general, low notes, as they sink ever lower, glide imperceptibly into bodily shakings as opposed to being pitches in a spectrum, whereas high notes, as they grow higher, do not do so. This establishes a simple and obvious objective difference between the two ends of the audible spectrum. For this reason, it is inconceivable that Diana Krall could have an inverted-spectrum experience — that is, could experience what you or I would call a very high sound when the lowest piano note is struck. After all, there are no objective bodily shakings produced by a high note!

Glebbing and Knurking

Well, all right. If the idea of a sonic inverted spectrum is incoherent, then why should the visual inverted spectrum seem any more plausible? The two ends of the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum are just as physically different from each other as are the two ends of the audible sonic spectrum. One end has light of lower frequencies, which makes certain pigments absorb it, while the other end has light of higher frequencies, which makes other pigments absorb it. Unlike rumbles, though, those cell-borne pigments are just intellectual abstractions to us, and this gives some philosophers the impression that our experiences of redness and blueness are totally disconnected from physics. The feeling of a color, they have concluded, is just some kind of personal invention, and two different people could “invent” it differently and never be the wiser for it.

To spell this idea out a little more clearly, let’s posit that knurking and glebbing (two words I just concocted) are two vastly different sensations that any human brain can enjoy. All humans are created in the womb with these experiences as part of their built-in repertoire. You and I were born with knurking and glebbing as standard features, and ever since our cradle days, we’ve enjoyed these two sensations countless thousands of times. In some folks, though, it’s red light that makes them knurk and blue that makes them gleb, while in others it’s the reverse. When you were tiny, one of the colors red and blue happened to trigger knurking more often, while the other one triggered glebbing more often. By age five or so, this initial tendency had settled in for good. No science could predict which way it would go, nor tell which way it wound up — but it happened anyway. And thus you and I, dear reader, may have wound up on opposite sides of the gleb/knurk fence — but who knows? Who could ever know?

I must stress that, in the inverted-spectrum scenario, the association of red light (or blue light) with knurking is not any kind of postnatal wiring pattern that gets launched in a baby’s brain and reinforced as it grows. In fact, although I stated above that to knurk and to gleb are experiences that all babies’ brains come innately equipped with, they are not distinguishable brain processes. It’s not possible to determine, no matter how fancy are the brain-scanning gadgets that one has access to, whether my brain (or yours) is knurking or glebbing. In short, we are not talking about objectively observable or measurable facts about the brain.

If objectively observable facts were all the inverted-spectrum riddle was about, it would be as easy as pie to tell the difference between ourselves and the fifty million French people whose inner sensations are all wrong! We would just examine their gray matter and pinpoint the telltale spot where certain key connections were flipped with respect to ours. Then we could watch their French brains engage in glebbing when the identical retinal stimulus would provoke knurking in our brains. But that’s not in the least the meaning of the inverted-spectrum idea. The meaning is that, despite having identical brain wirings, two people looking at the same object experience completely different color sensations.

The Inverted Political Spectrum

This hypothetical notion makes our inner experiences of the colors in the rainbow sound like a set of floating pre-existent pure abstractions that are not intimately (in fact, not at all) related to the physics outside our skull, or even to any physics inside it; rather, these inner experiences are arbitrarily mappable onto outside phenomena. As we grow up, the rainbow colors get mapped onto the spectrum of prefabricated feelings with which our brains all come equipped “from the factory”, but this mapping is not mediated by neural wiring; after all, neural wiring is observable from a detached third-person perspective, such as that of a neurosurgeon, so that rules it out.

Let’s now ponder the implications of this notion of the independence of subjective feelings and external stimuli. Maybe, just to pick a random example, the abstraction of “liberty” feels to me like what the abstraction of “imprisonment” feels like to you — it’s just that we both use the same word “liberty” for it, and so we are deluded into thinking that it is the same experience for both of us. This sounds pretty unlikely, doesn’t it? After all, liberty is pleasant whereas imprisonment is unpleasant. But then again, who can say for sure? Maybe experiences that I feel are pleasurable are unpleasurable for you, and vice versa.

Or maybe that churning feeling that I feel inside me when I run into right-wing flag-wavers and pro-lifers (those who dominated in the “red” states in the 2004 election) is identical to that churning feeling that you feel inside you when you encounter left-wing flag-burners and pro-choicers (those who dominated in the “blue” states in the 2004 election), and vice versa! This would be the inverted political spectrum! Are you getting a bit dizzy at this point? (Perhaps what you experience as dizziness I experience as clarity, and vice versa. But let’s not go there.)

The philosophers who take the inverted visual spectrum with total seriousness would not take the inverted political spectrum in the least seriously. But why not? Presumably because they don’t think our brains come from the factory with prefabricated political “feelings” inside them, feelings that can be arbitrarily attached to right-wing or left-wing politics as we grow up. And yet they truly do think that we come with knurking and glebbing built in (although they don’t use my words).

I once again wish to remind you that knurking is not an identifiable physical phenomenon in a brain (nor is glebbing). Knurking is that inherently incommunicable sensation that you supposedly have when red light (or blue light, if you’re French, reader) hits your eyes. French people have all the same internal physical events happen in their brains as we do, but they don’t have the same experiences as ours. French people experience glebbing when red light hits their retina, and knurking when blue light hits it. So just what is this knurking “experience”, then, if it isn’t anything physically identifiable in a brain?

The inverted-spectrists say it is pure feeling. Since this distinction is completely

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