“This is crazy.” Her eyes were now moist.
“Why did you do it, Tammy? Such a great man that had done so much for you, that you owed so much.”
Her eyes flared. “Not as great as people believed. For one thing, he cheated me on a land deal. Last year he had inside information from some spy in Tallahassee that the D.O.T. was going to put in an additional access ramp to I95. He and his cronies bought up the land around there before the word got out. His involvement had to stay hidden. So, I fronted for him. They resold the land to the state for a huge profit. I was supposed to get a share. He gave me a token amount. The land deal was worth millions. I was counting on big money. It was the payoff for those years of putting up with him. It would have set me up.”
“You wouldn’t kill anybody over money.”
“I was pretty for him every day for years. Every morning getting ready because I was going to see
“There’s no explanation for attraction.” It was inadequate but he said it. Sandy had told him to keep her talking.
“One time they were someplace they weren’t supposed to be—I never did find out the details—he phoned me in the middle of the night very nervous, something had gone wrong. He said if reporters checked I was to say he was with me overnight. No one would be surprised at that; it was the perfect affair cover up. Good old Tammy, she’s always there. Move her around like a piece of furniture. Dust her off when you need her. Look right through her when you don’t.”
“He took your loyalty and gave you none of his personal self in return,” Ray said.
“About four months ago, we were leaving his office, and he picked up my keys off the table by mistake. He held them out. Instead of taking them, I took his hand, folded his fingers around my keys, and held his fist in both of my hands. Don’t know where I got the nerve to do that. I looked up at him and told him my apartment key was there in his hand and why didn’t he keep it just in case. He said in case of what? I said well, maybe some night when you’re lonely and feel like, you know, being with someone friendly, having someone who likes you, someone you can trust, someone safe.”
“What did he do?”
“All he had to do was squeeze my hand, or make a tiny smile. At that moment, I was his. I’d have stripped naked for him right there, but he wouldn’t have noticed. All I wanted was a damn smile or at least a sugarcoated rejection. Couldn’t he at least have said that he understood? But you know what he did? He laughed. He laughed at me. He thought it was a joke. Just as though it was beyond belief that the two of us could be intimate. Preposterous, I suppose, that he could be sexually attracted to me. I was so embarrassed I wanted to crawl under the rug. I spent that night crying and pounding on my pillow, beating myself. Why did I do it? How could I have said that, how stupid he must think I am, what on earth was I thinking? How could I ever face him again? Then I became angry and pounded on the pillow again, but now it was him. I was pounding on him. I hated him.”
“Understandable.” He knew she had never told anyone, and she had to get it all out, although this was absolutely the wrong time.
“I was angry and afraid. Afraid I’d never be a part of his personal life. I’d never win him over. All those years, all those meetings, and all those parties. See how handsome he is in that tuxedo. Look at that lucky girl on his arm. Their tongues would wag. Hundreds of rumors. Wish I had a dime for every person who was absolutely positively certain that we were having sex. Look, those two are leaving the party together again—ho, ho, ho. Sometimes I felt like standing up and yelling, ‘Attention, everybody, I have an announcement to make. We’re not a couple, we don’t have sex. I’m just for show.’ I’d lie in bed fantasizing he was touching me, but his fingers never did.”
“You went with him to Meg’s party.”
“No, I lied about that. He called Meg and said he was coming alone. She was nice, phoned me immediately, and said of course I was invited. I knew then I was out. He was serious about her. About a month ago, I got a call from a real estate friend in Tampa who said Al and some young woman were shopping for condos and had made an offer. I knew he was setting her up in a love nest. I swore to myself the deal was never going to go through. Go to hell, Al Towson and take your Latina hottie with you.”
“You wanted him dead.”
“It was just a hateful thought in the back of my mind. But then that day, he phoned and said he argued with you. Then you showed up with your crazy story. Fate was telling me I had my opportunity.”
“Your vague idea of seeing Towson dead became clear.
“I went home, got the gun, and went to his apartment thinking I’d never have the nerve to use it. I started in with all my protests.”
“What did he say?”
“He said we could talk later, he had to go out. In other words, he was too busy for me. I said no, we would talk now. Why couldn’t he have just smiled and taken me in his arms? It would not have been too late. None of this would have had to happen. But you know what he did? He laughed at me. He told me I was being silly. He laughed like that time when I made a fool of myself offering him my keys. It was that same laugh. That set me off. I lost it. I took the gun out, closed my eyes, and tried not to think about what I was doing.”
“After he buzzed you into the building, he had plenty of time to put something on before answering his door. Why did you want him found dead in his underwear? To humiliate him, the dignified man found dead with his pants off?”
“To make it look like an affair. He had on his Kaftan when he opened the door. I made him take it off, as if a husband or boyfriend had surprised the lovers. I wanted to call attention to the affair: wine glasses, unmade bed and caught undressed. I wanted a scandal. A scandal that would be a permanent footnote to his life. And I wanted confusion to divert attention from me. Maybe even get her arrested. They can’t prove any of this.”
“So it was you who Mrs. Crawford saw leaving the building not the lover.”
“I was heading for the elevator when she opened her door and came into the hall with her dog. I had to get away from there fast. My God, he was on the floor bleeding. So I went back in and found the scarf to put around my head. She was down the block a little when I left, I didn’t know whether she saw me.”
“After I was jailed you relaxed, no one suspected you. You thought you could handle all your police friends. Then Sandy showed up. You didn’t expect someone so sharp to start digging in on my behalf. So, you cozied up to me and invited me overnight, figuring you’d better get on the inside of our investigation to find out what we knew.”
“You’re mostly correct. I was attracted to you when we first met at the restaurant, until you came out with that crazy story. When I asked you up to dinner, I didn’t intend to sleep with you. I thought I’d find out about your defense and then you’d leave. But during the evening, I fell in love with you, Ray, and then I didn’t want you to leave. That was love happening in my bed, I’m not an actress. I opened up to you as never before. That night my dream of a life with you started.” Her eyes were glistening. “You don’t have to tell anyone.”
He was too angry at that moment to consider whether he had fallen in love with her. The relationship that had started beautifully was instantly laid to waste when Sandy told him Tammy was the killer. “Tammy, you put me in jail and would have left me there. I not only lost my freedom I could have been executed.”
“I was depressed, my life seemed so hopeless. Everything seemed upside down. I wouldn’t have done it if I had known how you really are. I never expected to find someone like you. We could still have a great life together. This doesn’t have to mess up everything. They think Barner did it. They arrested Loraine. It’s over. You and I can live with this since we love each other. We’ll go away somewhere. We can do it. I’m not really a bad person. You don’t have to say anything.”
“We met too late, Tammy.” He slowly shook his head and pointed up behind the booth. “That little black ball up there on that ledge—is a camera. Our conversation has been videotaped.”
She froze. Her eyes went wide and her mouth opened. Then she frowned, her eyes narrowed and her face got red. She stared fiercely at him and through her clinched teeth mumbled, “You knew I loved you. I said as much to you, and I certainly showed you how much the other night. And you used that love to trick me.”
