'Mom, we see him so seldom, do you really think either one of us still understands him?'
Nina and Grant had never been all that close. In fact, he'd always been something of a secretive loner within the family, even though he was very much an extrovert with his friends, of which he had many, or at least used to. Ally had left for college just as he reached high school, which meant she wasn't around during his impressionable teen years. And when she came back to take over CitiSpace, he was virtually a fugitive from the family.
'I remember plenty about him. You think I don't know my own son, Lord help me.'
'Well, Mom, I'm not really prepared to talk about him. It was so upsetting just to see him, I couldn't really take everything in.' She smiled and touched Nina's brow, which felt warm and flush. 'But I'll tell you something I am taking in. You're really looking great. I don't know what he's doing, but-'
'Hope, darling. It's the greatest tonic in the world even if there's no good reason for it.' She squeezed Ally's hand. 'And I do so wish Arthur could be here now. I miss him so much.'
'I know, Mom. He was as much a friend to me as he was a dad' She thought back fondly over her father's many passions and how she'd shared a lot of them with him. One had been the nineteenth-century Romantic poets, particularly Wordsworth and Shelley. Then he'd had his astronomy period and they'd spent a lot of time together at the planetarium. But he took an interest in her passions as well. When at age eight she decided to collect coins, he went to the bank and brought back rolls and rolls of dimes and nickels for her to go through. And during the summertime he'd take her and Grant on the LIRR to Long Beach, every other Sunday, all summer long.
That was why the pain, the personal loss, of his horrible death had never fully subsided. Perhaps it never would. But the difference between them was that he had finally lost his will to live, whereas Ally found her own will growing all the more with every new adversity she faced. The weaker her heart got, the more determined she was to exercise, whatever it took, to make it strong again.
'He would be so proud of the way you pulled CitiSpace back from the brink.' She let a tear slide down her left cheek, smearing her makeup. 'And I'll tell you something else, young lady. You take after us both when it comes to guts. My memory may be slipping, but I remember you were always willing to take chances. And I guess that's what we're doing here now. Both of us. We're gambling on life. In your case, you've got a lot to lose.'
Ally looked at her. Nina was having one of her moments of incredible lucidity, but how did she know so much about what was really going on.
'Mom, did the doctor tell you what I-'
'The head nurse, Ellen, told me that you're going to undergo a procedure for your heart. That you're going to start today.' Her eyes darkened. 'She also admitted he'd never used the procedure on a condition like yours. It's completely experimental.'
'You talked to her this morning?'
'She took me downstairs, where they did my hair. She said Dr. Vee thinks it's important for everyone here to have a positive attitude. They ask you what you’d like and then they try to do it. Now I'm ready for whatever comes next.' She stared directly into Ally's eyes. 'But that doesn't mean I still can't be nervous about all this untried stuff.'
'Mom, don't worry about me. I'm going to get through this. If you'll be strong for me, I promise I'll be strong for you.'
She got up and walked to the window. From this vantage she could just see the lake down through the trees. They were starting to put out leaves, but it was still early spring and nippy here, so they mostly had just buds. All the same, there was a sense of renewal about them, which made her think of her own body.'
Life is so bittersweet.' Nina sighed. 'But you still want to go on living, even when it's a daily struggle. Either I'm an optimist or I'm pigheaded.'
'You're just wonderful,' Ally said. 'That's what you are.'
She glanced down at her watch. She was scheduled to meet Ellen O'Hara downstairs at ten forty-five, to fill out the paperwork that formally entered her into the clinical trials. If she decided to go ahead and enroll, this would be her last day of freedom. Tomorrow she would have to begin the intense phase of the therapy. Did she really want to do that? She wanted to talk to Van de Vliet one last time. 'Look, Mom, I'm going to be downstairs for a while now, but I'll come back up later.'
'All right. Ellen said there's a little library here somewhere, so I may go down and look. I might even get something in Spanish, to try and keep my mind alert.' She sighed. 'Oh, Ally, I so want to be the way I was again. Pray for me.'
Ally knew prayer wasn't something her mother engaged in a lot. In fact, she'd always been a fervent agnostic. What had brought about the change? Was it that she'd finally discovered that both her body and mind had limits and wouldn't do what she wanted forever?
'I'll pray for us both, Mom. But we're going to be okay. I have faith.'
'Good for you.' She looked away. 'I'll try to have it too.'
Ally walked over and kissed her, then turned and headed out the door. Where was this all going to end? She had absolutely no idea. But with Nina's miracle change overnight, the concern she'd heard in the voice of Stone Aimes seemed a million miles away.
As she walked down the marble stairs, she tried to take the measure of the place. The Dorian Institute did inspire you with its look of utter perfection. It was an appropriate setting for miracles.
When she got to the lobby, she saw Ellen stepping off the elevator, coming up from the basement.
'All set to get going?' she asked, walking over. 'Before we start any procedures, anything at all, we've got to fill out the forms for the NIH. Technically, what is going on here is a clinical trial, a very detailed study in which we constantly monitor the patients and try to measure their progress objectively. So we'll have to take some time and establish a very thorough baseline. We began that yesterday when you went to the clinic in New York for a stress test. Among other things, we'll be running an EKG on you here on a daily basis.'
'And all this goes into my NIH files?' Ally asked. They were getting on the elevator to go down.
'Not the raw data. It's our job to structure our patients' files in ways that will permit the NIH monitor, or other third parties, to assess our results quickly.'
They were getting off now, entering the starkly lit hallway that connected the laboratory and Dr. Van de Vliet's office with the examination rooms.
'Dr. Vee is working in the lab this morning, so we can use his office to fill out all the forms.'
Ally could see Dr. Van de Vliet and three other people, members of his research team, all dressed in white, clustered around a blackboard, where he was drawing some kind of flowchart. Again she was struck by his youthful appearance. He surely did not look a day older than forty, or forty-five tops.
This was the first time she had been in his office, and she paused to look around. As was usual, he had a wall of framed diplomas and certificates. From her cursory checkout, they seemed to correspond to the educational history she remembered from his CV. It was a spacious room, with an executive feeling, and he had an expensive fiat-screen nineteen-inch monitor sitting on the left-hand side of his desk. Next to it was a wooden table and chairs. A pile of NIH forms was there, along with a green
'He likes to let people use his office whenever possible,' Ellen explained. 'It's a lot less institutional than the conference room.'
Ally settled at the table and picked up the form.
'They want a lot of personal information,' Ellen went on, 'but your mother and I filled out her items yesterday and it wasn't too hard. Needless to say, all personal information is completely confidential. Even your name. After the first week, we only identify you with a coding system.'
As Ally was reaching for a pen, a petite blond woman with a smashing figure strode through the door. She was wearing a lab coat, not a nurse's uniform, but it still showed off her curves. She was carrying a stainless-steel tray containing a hypodermic needle and three glass vials.
'Hi,' she said with a smile, 'I'm Dr. Connolly. Welcome to the Dorian Institute. We're all very excited about having you here.'
'Deb, come in,' Ellen said seeming slightly startled 'Is there something we forgot to-'
'No, I just need to take one hundred fifty milliliters of blood. We've got to get started on the cultures we'll be using ASAP.'
'Hang on a second' Ally said. 'I was hoping to talk this over a bit more with Dr. Van de Vliet before I take the final leap.'
