“Brothers and sisters!” I’d say.
“Brother, Hank!”
“Hello, Brother Hank!”
We had a game going, the black-white game and they liked to play it. Boyer would walk up to me, touch me on the arm and say, “Man, if I had
“Sure you would, Boyer. That’s all it takes: a white skin.”
Then round little Hadley would walk up to us.
“There used to be this black cook on this ship. He was the only black man aboard. He cooked tapioca pudding 2 or 3 times a week and then jacked-off into it. Those white boys really liked his tapioca pudding, hehehehe! They asked him how he made it and he said he had his own secret recipe, hehehehehehe!”
We all laughed. I don’t know how many times I had to hear the tapioca pudding story…
“Hey, poor white trash! Hey, boy!”
“Look, man, if I called you ‘boy’ you might draw steel on me. So don’t call me ‘boy.’”
“Look, white man, what do you say we go out together this Saturday night? I got me a nice white gal with blonde hair.”
“And I got myself a nice black gal. And you know what color her hair is.”
“You guys been fucking pur women for centuries. We’re trying to catch up. You don’t mind if I stick my big black dick into your white gal?”
“If she wants it she can have it.”
“You stole the land from the Indians.”
“Sure I did.”
“You won’t invite me to your house. If you do, you’ll ask me to come in the back way, so no one will see my skin…”
“But I’ll leave a small light burning.” It got boring but there was no way out.
12
Fay was all right with the pregnancy. For an old gal, she was all right. We waited around at our place. Finally the time came. “It won’t be long,” she said. “I don’t want to get there too early.”
I went out and checked the car. Came back.
“Oooh, oh,” she said. “No, wait.”
Maybe she
“We better go now,” I said.
“No,” said Fay, “I don’t want to make you wait too long. I know you haven’t been feeling well.”
“To hell with me. Let’s make it.”
“No, please, Hank.” She just sat there. “What can I do for you?” I asked. “Nothing.” She sat there ten minutes. I went into the kitchen for a glass of water. When I came out she said, “You ready to drive?”
“Sure.”
“You know where the hospital is?”
“Of course.”
I helped her into the car. I had made two practice runs the week earlier. But when we got there I had no idea where to park. Fay pointed up a runway.
“Go in there. Park in there. We’ll go in from there.”
“Yes, mam,” I said…
She was in bed in a back room overlooking the street. Her face grimaced. “Hold my hand,” she said.
I did.
“Is it really going to happen?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“You make it seem so easy,” I said.
“You’re so very nice. It helps.”
“I’d like to
“I know. I know.”
We were looking out the back window.
I said, “Look at those people down there. They have no idea what is going on up here. They just walk on the sidewalk. Yet, it’s funny… they were once born themselves, each one of them.”
“Yes, it is funny.”
I could feel the movements of her body through her hand.
“Hold tighter,” she said.
“Yes.”
“I’ll hate it when you go.”
“Where’s the doctor? Where is everybody? What the hell!”
“They’ll be here.”
Just then a nurse walked in. It was a Catholic hospital and she was a very handsome nurse, dark, Spanish or Portuguese. “You… must go… now,” she told me. I gave Fay crossed fingers and a twisted smile. I don’t think she saw. I took the elevator downstairs.
13
My German doctor walked up. The one who had given me the blood tests. “Congratulations,” he said, shaking my hand, “it’s a girl. 9 pounds, 3 ounces.”
“And the mother?”
“The mother will be all right. She was no trouble at all.”
“When can I see them?”
“They’ll let you know. Just sit there and they’ll call you.”
Then he was gone.
I looked through the glass. The nurse pointed down at my child. The child’s face was very red and it was screaming louder than any of the other children. The room was full of screaming babies. So many births! The nurse seemed very proud of my baby. At least, I hoped it was mine. She picked the girl up so I could see it better. I smiled through the glass, I didn’t know how to act. The girl just screamed at me. Poor thing, I thought, poor little damned thing. I didn’t know then that she would be a beautiful girl someday who would look just like me, hahaha. I motioned the nurse to put the child down, then waved goodbye to both of them. She was a nice nurse. Good legs, good hips. Fair breasts.
Fay had a spot of blood on the left side of her mouth and I took a wet cloth and wiped it off. Women were meant to suffer; no wonder they asked for constant declarations of love.
“I wish they’d give me my baby,” said Fay, “it’s not right to separate us like this.”
“I know. But I guess there’s some medical reason.”
“Yes, but it doesn’t seem right.
“No, it doesn’t. But the child looked fine. I’ll do what I can to make them send up the child as soon as possible. There must have been 40 babies down there. They’re making all the mothers wait. I guess it’s to let them get their strength back. Our baby looked
“I’d be so happy with my baby.”
“I know, I know. It won’t be long.”
