“I don’t like to take prey from the fresh-kill pile when food is so scarce,” Mousefur meowed. “There are younger bellies to feed than mine.”
“Well, eat the coltsfoot instead,” Longtail meowed. “If only to give me some peace.”
Muttering crossly, Mousefur used her tail to sweep the pile of shredded leaves toward her nest.
Jaypaw sighed. Listening to the elders fussing, he felt as though nothing had changed since his days with Brightheart.
After hardly a quarter moon he was bored to the ends of his whiskers with doling out herbs. He was meant to visit Stormfur in the warriors’ den next and apply a honey-and-horsetail poultice to his shoulder wound
Leafpool appeared at the entrance of the honeysuckle bush, bringing with her the scents of the medicine den.
“How’s Mousefur’s throat?” she asked.
“It feels fine,” Jaypaw answered tersely. “Although it would be easier to tell if she stopped complaining long enough for me to feel it properly.”
Leafpool’s irritation spiked the air. “If you can’t be polite to your Clanmates, you may as well come back to the medicine den and help me tear up the tansy that Hollypaw was kind enough to fetch for you yesterday!” she snapped.
Jaypaw rolled his eyes. Another moment in the medicine den and he would burst! So much for his great destiny as a medicine cat. Spottedleaf hadn’t warned him that life would be one tedious chore after another.
Leafpool led the way back to the den, her shoulders tense.
Jaypaw padded miserably after her. He felt a lecture brewing in her like a storm, and nosed his way reluctantly through the trailing brambles and sat down.
“You drift around the camp like a little dark cloud looking for someone to rain on,” Leafpool snapped.
“I’m bored!” Jaypaw complained.
Exasperation flashed from his mentor. “Anyone would think I had forced you to become my apprentice!”
“You didn’t force me,” Jaypaw agreed. “But it’s what you wanted all along, isn’t it?” He lashed his tail. “Are you happy now?”
“Do I sound happy?” Leafpool hissed. Jaypaw could feel the fury seething beneath her pelt. Why did she have to be so mad at him? Couldn’t she understand that he had expected more from his life than this?
“It’s okay for you,” he snapped. “You always wanted to be a medicine cat!”
“And you don’t?”
“It’s my destiny,” he muttered. “Wanting doesn’t seem to come into it.”
“Then deal with it!” Leafpool growled unsympathetically.
Unhappily, Jaypaw padded to the heap of tansy Hollypaw had left and began to strip the leaves from the stems. He ripped at them carelessly, leaving long strings of stalk attached. Leafpool sighed and sat down beside him.
Wordlessly, she began to nip off the trailing strips he had left.
Her disappointment showed in every small, silent movement she made. Guilt pricked at Jaypaw like a bellyful of thorns. He wished he could find the words to explain his frustration, but he knew that whatever he said would only make it worse.
What would she say if she knew just how miserable he was at
giving up his dream of being a warrior? And for this! A life of sorting herbs and worrying about scratches and bellyaches.
“Leafpool?” Stormfur pushed his way into the den. Jaypaw could smell the sour odor of the scratches festering on his shoulder. He had forgotten to apply the new poultice. He jerked his head around, feeling guiltier than ever.
“Didn’t you treat Stormfur’s scratch?” Leafpool demanded.
“You told me to come back here,” he pointed out.
“You’re right.” She sighed. “Never mind. I’ll do it. You get some rest. It’s half-moon tonight. We’ll be traveling to the Moonpool with the other medicine cats.”
Brightheart was lying next to Cloudtail by the halfrock, washing herself. Jaypaw felt her hurt like thorns in his pads as he waited for Leafpool by the camp entrance. Firestar had promised Brightheart that she could mentor Icekit or Foxkit when their turn came, but the warrior hadn’t gotten over the pain of losing Jaypaw as her apprentice yet.
“Staring at her isn’t going to make her forgive you.”
Leafpool’s meow surprised Jaypaw; he had been too busy worrying about Brightheart to hear his mentor approach.
“But she won’t listen to me when I try to talk to her,”
Jaypaw mewed. “She just changes the subject or finds an excuse to go somewhere else.”
“She’ll listen when she’s ready to hear,” Leafpool advised.
“She’s had to fight hard to prove to her Clanmates that she’s as good as them, and this must feel like a battle she has lost.”
“I never meant to hurt her,” Jaypaw mewed.
“It takes some cats longer to see past their weaknesses clearly enough to appreciate their strengths,” Leafpool meowed. “And until they do, they feel every hurt like a tongue on raw flesh.”
Jaypaw felt that Leafpool was urging him to understand more than Brightheart’s anger, but he didn’t want to think about it now. He was eager to leave camp. He hadn’t been farther than the Sky Oak in days, and his paws were itching to be on their way to the Moonpool.
Leafpool must have sensed his impatience. “Come on,” she meowed, leading him through the thorn barrier.
The night felt brittle with cold. Frost had driven most creatures into hiding, and Jaypaw’s and Leafpool’s pawsteps were the only movement that disturbed the frozen earth. As they neared the WindClan border, Jaypaw felt anxiety flutter in his belly. What if the other medicine cats thought a blind kit wasn’t fit to be one of them?
He sniffed the air. It was tinged with the scent of ShadowClan and RiverClan.
“The others must be waiting,” Leafpool observed, picking up the same scents.
Jaypaw followed her out of the forest and padded onto open grass. Moorland lay ahead; he could smell the scent of gorse and heather mingling with cat scent. He recognized Willowpaw and Mothwing from their visit to the hollow a moon ago. But the reek of the ShadowClan cat with them brought back the raw memory of battle.
“Hi, Mothwing.” Leafpool sounded pleased to see her RiverClan friend.
“Hello, Leafpool,” Mothwing purred.
“Is the frost as bad in RiverClan territory as it is here?”
Leafpool asked.
“We seem sheltered from the worst of it, but the cold has driven the elders into their den. They’re complaining of aching bones.”
“You’ve enough poppy seed?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Hello, Littlecloud,” Leafpool greeted the ShadowClan medicine cat. “Is all well with you?”
Jaypaw bristled. It wasn’t long since ShadowClan invaded ThunderClan territory. How could she be so polite to her Clan’s enemy?
“It is,” Littlecloud answered. “Are your Clanmates recovered?” He had to be referring to the injuries they had suffered at the paws of ShadowClan warriors. Suspiciously, Jaypaw searched the ShadowClan cat’s tone for any hint of triumph, but he found only concern.
“One wound unhealed,” Leafpool reported. “And yours?”
“Oakfur is still limping,” he told her.
“Try wrapping his paw with comfrey each night when he sleeps,” Leafpool advised.
“I’ve run out,” Littlecloud confessed.
“You should have come to us!” Leafpool meowed.
“Blackstar wouldn’t let me.”