Black Bottle

I’m entitled to use it. It doesn’t offend me at all. I like to remember that we’re green. I like the stigma: of wealth and cunning, smelling like turpentine and expensive smoke.

[redacted]

No, it’s not what we used to be about. We didn’t used to sell our secrets to the companies. But now look at us: in posh apartments on the avenues, living above Ilek and Pandragon and Despche alike.

I’m proud of that, by the way. I’m proud that we’re doctors, psychiatrists, holomorphs for rent.

[redacted]

Sorry, I don’t give readings or sell talismans. I can point you toward some colleagues that will work out elaborate star charts. I don’t do that either. My approach is more direct, which I assume is why you came to me.

[redacted]

Yeah. Those questions aren’t really up my street.

[redacted]

I’ll try.

[redacted]

That’s right. You’re pretty well versed for a girl such as yourself.

[redacted]

Yes. You’re going to eat my heart with that silver spoon. Where were we?

[redacted]

Right. They call her the Sslia. It’s like uh … deliverer. The Deliverer.

[redacted]

Well that’s because it is a murky legend. You know this entity is not gender specific. Sslia is like—

[redacted]

Right. Exactly. There would be a lot of interest in making sure you get the right person for the job. (laughs) Assuming it was real.

Anyway, I simply don’t know much about the subject. The only reason I know anything at all is because—you guessed it—shuwt tinctures.

[redacted]

No. I don’t believe that. Keep in mind none of this is science.

[redacted]

I don’t know if Pplarians have ever used shuwt tinctures. That’s way off track.

[redacted]

Okay. Fine. The short of it, right? Is that some entity, the Sslia, uses these tinctures to travel around in time—sort of. It’s part of some big apocalyptic bullshit scenario. So, in the end, supposedly, this Sslia uses the tincture to escape this epic black cosmic meltdown of the world or universe or whatever. He or she disappears and leaves everyone else in the lurch. That’s it. That’s all I know.

[redacted]

(laughs) You’re funny. No, I mean, no one knows, right? This legend is old as dirt. I have no idea whether there’s some grand purpose. I’ve certainly never heard of one. The Sslia just … does crazy stuff, and then disappears.

[redacted]

Well I think there are some drawings. Old engravings or whatever. But you know they always show the Sslia hooded and gender-neutral. The actual entity of the Sslia is described as having wings. Wings of light. And the power to destroy the world, of course, which is symbolized as a sword. That’s what this whole myth is about. The Sslia shows up, prepares the planet for the end of time—maybe that’s your grand purpose—then it opens up the floodgates of destruction and disappears instantly on a drug-induced journey into forever after.

[redacted]

Yeah, it is nice. Why can’t all recreational drugs have legends like this to bolster sales?

[redacted]

Right. These notes you’ve brought. You said they’re from your grandfather’s war chest? My opinion is that you should stop reading them.

[redacted]

Sure I can translate Veyden. I’m green, aren’t I?

[redacted]

This one here? Gnor-ak Gnak Zith’yn Auth-ich Aubelle Aubiel Gnak Naen’Uln Thu-ru Ryth-ich El.

[redacted]

Yeah. I know that.

[redacted]

No.

[redacted]

Maybe you’re thinking I’m an olive with its core cut out? Half-Veyden born and raised in Pandragor … long way from the jungles? So how can I be so sure of the deeper cultural significance?

[redacted]

Sure, but, I’m sorry, your translation is just wrong.

Look, I’ll do it word for word, exactly. Darkness-in Light Exist (with a plural subject marker there) Many-of One Terrible Light White Moon’Gold Culminate-will Age-of Sadness. It’s a bit esoteric but the translation isn’t hard. Just that Naen bit.

[redacted]

Right, “white moon gold” is a bit ambiguous. That’s because Naen’Uln is a religious word. It could be purely descriptive—a thing that’s whitish-gold like the big moon—or it could be a proper noun. If I were to translate it for you into Trade I’d probably write it something like: In the darkness there are many lights, of which one Terrible Light, white-gold like the moon, will culminate an age of sadness.

[redacted]

Hey, if you want to think it means something different, use your translation instead. You won’t upset me.

I just don’t think you should focus on this. It’s bad energy. It’s easy to read fear into that little Jingsade- sounding whatzit that some Veyden probably copied from a carved block.

[redacted]

(laughs)

[redacted]

Well, I’m laughing because here you are, sitting in my den of iniquity, asking me about shuwt tinctures but treating me like your priest.

[redacted]

No. What I do is offer counsel on the use of an extremely expensive, extremely dangerous and extremely illegal recreational drug. Why? Because I do feel some moral obligation to help really rich people not kill themselves while they’re getting high. It’s that simple. What other brand of drug dealer hires a stenographer? I do it so that my clients feel at ease, to provide them with a level of comfort. This isn’t a dirty brothel with syringes scattered all over the floor. This is an office, with comfortable chairs, a window and water in glass bottles.

You get to take these notes home and use them as a reference and a guide for your own shuwt experiences. That’s all this is. I am not your priest.

[redacted]

Oh, good. For a minute there I thought everything was unraveling.

[redacted]

No. Yes, it is an incredible sum.

[redacted]

Yes, let’s do both, thank your father.