their eyes off her. We were all enthralled. When Owen Meany danced with Hester, the sharp bridge of his nose fit perfectly in her cleavage; no one even 'cut in.'
There we were, in our rented tuxedos, boys more afraid of pimples than of war; but Owen's tux was not rented-my grandmother had bought it for him-and in its tailoring, in its lack of shine, in its touch of satin on its slim lapels, it eloquently spoke to the matter that was so obvious to us all: how The Voice expressed what we were unable to say. Like all dances at the academy, this one ended under extreme supervision; no one could leave the dance early; and when one left, and had escorted one's date to the visitor's dorm, one returned to one's own dorm and 'checked in' precisely fifteen minutes after having 'checked out' of the dance. But Hester was staying at Front Street. I was too mortified to spend that weekend at my grandmother's-with Hester as Owen's date-and so I returned to Dan's dorm with the other boys who marched to the school's rules. Owen, who had the day boy's standing permission to drive himself to and from the academy, drove Hester back to Front Street. Once in the cab of the tomato-red pickup, Hester and Owen were freed from the regulations of the Dance Committee; they lit up, the smoke from their cigarettes concealed the assumed complacency of their expressions, and each of them lolled an arm out a rolled-down window as Owen turned up the volume of the radio and drove artfully away. With his cigarette, with Hester beside him-in his tux, in the high cab of that tomato-red pickup-Owen Meany looked almost tall, Other boys claimed that they 'did it' in the bushes- between leaving the dance and arriving at their dorms. Other boys displayed kissing techniques in lobbies, risked 'copping a feel' in coat rooms, defied the chaperones' quick censure of anything as vulgar as sticking a tongue in a girl's ear. But beyond the indisputable fact of his nose embedded in Hester's cleavage, Owen and Hester did not resort to either common or
gross forms of public affection. And how he later rebuked our childishness by refusing to talk about her; if he 'did it' with her, The Voice was not bragging about it. He took Hester back to Front Street and they watched The Late Show together; he drove himself back to the quarry-'IT WAS RATHER LATE,' he admitted.
'What was the movie?' I asked.
'WHAT MOVIE?'
'On The Late Show!'
'OH, I FORGET ...'
'Hester must have fucked his brains out,' Simon said morosely; Noah hit him. 'Since when does Owen 'forget' a movie?' Simon cried; but Noah hit him again. 'Owen even remembers The Robe I' Simon said; Noah hit him in the mouth, and Simon started swinging. 'It doesn't matter!' Simon yelled. 'Hester fucks everybody!'
Noah had his brother by the throat. 'We don't know that,' he said to Simon.
'We think it!' Simon cried.
'It's okay to think it,' Noah told his brother; he rubbed his forearm back and forth across Simon's nose, which began to bleed. 'But if we don't know it, we don't say it.'
'Hester fucked Owen's brains out!' Simon screamed; Noah drove the point of his elbow into the hollow between Simon's eyes.
'We don't know that,' he repeated; but I had grown accustomed to their savage fights-they no longer frightened me. Their brutality seemed plain and safe alongside my conflicted feelings for Hester, my crushing envy of Owen. Once again, The Voice put us in our places. 'IT IS HARD TO KNOW, IN THE WAKE OF THE DISTURBING DANCE-WEEKEND, WHETHER OUR ESTEEMED PEERS OR OUR ESTEEMED FACULTY CHAPERONES SHOULD BE MORE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES. IT IS PUERILE FOR YOUNG MEN TO DISCUSS WHAT DEGREE OF ADVANTAGE THEY TOOK OF THEIR DATES; IT IS DISRESPECTFUL OF WOMEN-ALL THIS CHEAP BRAGGING-AND IT GIVES MEN A BAD REPUTATION. WHY SHOULD WOMEN TRUST US? BUT IT IS HARD TO SAY WHETHER THIS BOORISH BEHAVIOR IS WORSE OR BETTER THAN THE GESTAPO TACTICS OF OUR PURITAN CHAPERONES. THE DEAN'S OFFICE TELLS ME THAT TWO SENIORS HAVE RECEIVED NOTICE OF DISCIPLINARY PROBATION-FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE TERM!-FOR THEIR ALLEGED 'OVERT INDISCRETIONS'; I BELIEVE THE TWO INCIDENTS FALL UNDER THE PUNISHABLE OFFENSE OF 'MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE CONDUCT WITH GIRLS,'
'AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING PRURIENT, I SHALL REVEAL THE SHOCKING NATURE OF THESE TWO SINS AGAINST THE SCHOOL AND WOMANKIND. ONE! A BOY WAS FOUND 'FONDLING' HIS DATE IN THE TROPHY ROOM OF THE GYM: AS THE COUPLE WAS FULLY DRESSED-AND STANDING-AT THE TIME, IT SEEMS UNLIKELY THAT A PREGNANCY COULD HAVE RESULTED FROM THEIR EXCHANGE; AND ALTHOUGH THE GYM IS NOTORIOUS FOR IT, I'M SURE THEY HADN'T EVEN EXPOSED THEMSELVES SUFFICIENTLY TO RISK AN ATHLETE'S FOOT INFECTION. TWO! A BOY WAS SEEN LEAVING THE BUTT ROOM IN BANCROFT HALL WITH HIS TONGUE IN HIS DATE'S EAR-AN ODD AND OSTENTATIOUS MANNER IN WHICH TO EXIT A SMOKING LOUNGE, I WILL AGREE, BUT THIS DEGREE OF PHYSICAL CONTACT IS ALSO NOT KNOWN TO RESULT IN A PREGNANCY. TO MY KNOWLEDGE, IT IS EVEN DIFFICULT TO COMMUNICATE THE COMMON COLD BY THIS METHOD.'
After that one, it became customary for the applicants-for the position of headmaster-to request to meet him when they were interviewed. The Search Committee had a student subcommittee available to interview each candidate; but when the candidates asked to meet The Voice, Owen insisted that he be given A PRIVATE AUDIENCE. The issue of Owen being granted this privilege was the subject of a special faculty meeting where tempers flared; Dan said there was a movement to replace the faculty adviser to The Grave-there were those who said that the 'pregnancy humor' in Owen's column about the Senior Dance should not have escaped the adviser's censorship. But the faculty
