Until I Find You

“He’s a physically healthy man!” Dr. Horvath cried. “He needs to have sex! Naturally, he shouldn’t have sex with anyone here—certainly not with another patient or with someone on the staff.”

“But you said he doesn’t have sex,” Jack said to Dr. Krauer-Poppe.

“He masturbates when he’s with the prostitute,” she told Jack. “There’s no medication required for that.”

“Like a picture of a woman in a magazine, I suppose—only she’s a real woman instead of a photograph,” Dr. Berger said.

“Like pornography?” Jack asked.

“Ah, well …” Professor Ritter said again.

“William has those magazines, too,” Dr. von Rohr announced disapprovingly.

“The magazines are safe sex, aren’t they?” Dr. Krauer-Poppe asked. “And the prostitute is safe, too—the way he sees her.”

“I get the picture,” Jack told them. “I’m okay about it.”

“We believe your sister is okay about it, too,” Professor Ritter said. “We’re just not officially okay about it.”

“Is there a logic I’m missing in being unofficially okay about it?” Dr. von Rohr asked.

Dr. Horvath was doing lunges across the exercise hall, the floor creaking. “Bitte, Klaus,” Professor Ritter said.

“Does my dad always see the same prostitute, or is it a different woman every time?” Jack asked.

“For those details, perhaps you should ask Hugo,” Dr. Berger told him.

“Must he meet Hugo? I’m just asking,” Dr. von Rohr said. (Dr. Berger was shaking his head.)

“Whether here, in Kilchberg, or in the outside world, we all eventually must meet a Hugo,” Professor Ritter said.

“There’s no medication for a Hugo,” Dr. Krauer-Poppe said.

“Leider nicht,” Dr. von Rohr remarked. (“Unfortunately not.”)

“Well, unless it’s a bad time, I think I’d like to meet my father now,” Jack told the team.

“It’s a good time, actually!” Dr. Horvath cried.

“It’s our reading hour. William is a good reader,” Dr. Berger said.

“It’s our quiet time,” Dr. von Rohr said.

“I believe he’s reading a biography of Brahms,” Dr. Krauer-Poppe said.

“Brahms isn’t a trigger?” Jack asked.

“Reading about him isn’t,” Dr. Berger said matter-of-factly.

“Your father has two rooms, plus a bath, in the private section,” Professor Ritter told Jack.

“Hence expensive,” Dr. von Rohr said.

“I made a dinner reservation for tonight,” Jack told them. “I don’t know who else wants to come along, but I booked a table for four at the Kronenhalle.”

“The Kronenhalle!” Dr. Horvath boomed. “You must have the Wiener schnitzel or the bratwurst!”

“There are mirrors at the Kronenhalle,” Dr. Krauer-Poppe said. “One by each entrance, and another one over the sideboard.”

“Surely they are avoidable,” Professor Ritter said to her.

“The one in the men’s room isn’t!” Dr. Horvath said.

“Who’s going to go with them?” Dr. Berger asked. “I can’t—not this evening.”

“I can go,” Dr. Krauer-Poppe said. “I had a date, but I can break it.”

“That would be best, Anna-Elisabeth—in case William needs some medication,” Professor Ritter said.

“I’m sure that Hugo is also available,” Dr. von Rohr suggested.

“I’d rather not go with Hugo, Ruth,” Dr. Krauer-Poppe said. “The Kronenhalle isn’t exactly Hugo’s sort of place.”

“I can’t go to the Kronenhalle tonight and to St. Peter tomorrow morning!” Dr. Horvath exclaimed.

“Maybe I can go—I’ll check my schedule,” Professor Ritter said. “Or perhaps Dr. Huber can go.”

“It makes sense to go to a restaurant with an internist,” Dr. Berger remarked. “In case anyone gets sick.”

“No one gets sick at the Kronenhalle!” Dr. Horvath cried.

“Dr. Huber has too many emergencies,” Dr. Krauer-Poppe said. “If she gets called away, I’m alone with William and Jack—and the mirrors. Besides, there should be another man—in case William wants to go to the men’s room.”

“But I’ll be there,” Jack reminded her.

“I mean another man who knows your father,” Dr. Krauer-Poppe said.

“I’ll check my schedule,” Professor Ritter said again.

Dr. von Rohr had a head-of-department look on her face, but she was smiling. The smile was something new to Jack, but the others seemed familiar with it.

“What is it, Ruth?” Dr. Krauer-Poppe asked her colleague.

“You couldn’t keep me away from a trip to the Kronenhalle with William and Jack Burns—not in a million years!” she said. “You couldn’t keep me out of the men’s room, not if William went there—not if you tried!”

Dr. Krauer-Poppe covered her face with her hands; there was no medication that could keep Dr. von Rohr away from the Kronenhalle, apparently. (Dr. Berger was shaking his head again.)

“Okay, that settles it,” Professor Ritter said uncertainly.

“Anyone but Hugo, I guess,” Dr. Krauer-Poppe, who had recovered herself, said philosophically. “Ruth and I will go with them, then.”

“I can’t tell you how I’m looking forward to it, Anna-Elisabeth,” Dr. von Rohr said.

“I think I’d like to go home and get ready for dinner,” Dr. Krauer-Poppe announced to Professor Ritter.

“Of course!” the professor said. They all watched Dr. Krauer-Poppe leave the room. She was so beautifully dressed; not even her lab coat looked out of place.

“I can’t wait to see what Anna-Elisabeth will wear tonight,” Dr. von Rohr said, after her colleague had gone. “She’s going home to get dressed, and I don’t mean to change her lab coat!”

“She had a date with her husband tonight,” Dr. Berger told everyone. “She’s probably going home to break her date, in a nice way.”

Jack felt sorry that he’d caused Dr. Krauer-Poppe to change her plans. (Dr. von Rohr, on the other hand, seemed pleased to have changed hers.)

“Don’t worry!” Dr. Horvath told Jack, pounding his shoulder. “Whatever else happens tonight, you’re going to the Kronenhalle!”

“I just want to see my father. That’s why I came,” Jack reminded them.

“We just want to prepare you for seeing him,” Dr. Berger stated.

Dr. Horvath had stopped pounding Jack’s shoulder, but he was massaging the back of Jack’s neck with his big, strong hand. “I have a favor to ask you, if you’ll indulge me,” the Austrian said.

“Of course. What is it?” Jack asked him.

“If you could say something—I mean the way Billy Rainbow says it. I know you can do it!” Dr. Horvath urged him.

“No doubt about it,” Jack-as-Billy said. (After the episode in the Edinburgh airport, he was relieved he could still act.)

“Wunderschon!” Dr. Horvath cried. (“Beautiful!”)

“How embarrassing, Klaus,” Dr. von Rohr said. “I hope you’ll forgive me,” she said to Jack, “but Billy Rainbow gives me the creeps.”