The Darkening

‘Just getting out of the rain, really,’ answered Laine.

The woman nodded and smiled warmly. ‘You’re welcome to browse as long as you like.’

‘Thanks,’ said Laine. From the corner of her eye she saw the other woman open the till and stock its drawer with notes from a cash bag.

Laine drifted along the shelves, sniffing the lotions, rolling small hessian sacks of beans in her hands, plucking a leaf of rosemary from a sheaf and lifting it to her nose and savouring its autumnal spice. Then she saw the pumpkin seeds.

‘They’re pretty popular. Have you tried them?’ said the woman, shutting the till.

Laine shook her head. ‘Just opening?’

‘Yeah, late start. I had to. .’ The woman wiped her hands on her jeans and wrinkled her nose. ‘Mammogram.’ She smiled and shrugged — what can you do?

Laine nodded. ‘All okay?’

‘Yes, thank God. It’s a stress. My mother, she had a double full mastectomy. I don’t know how she coped. I guess you just do.’

‘Yes.’

‘I don’t know how I would. .’ She trailed off, then laughed. ‘I kind of like mine!’

Laine found herself smiling. ‘I hear you.’

This girl is nice, she thought. She’s no husband-stealer. And as for the old seamstress who Nicholas said had nested here. . this place was so inviting, so pleasant, it was impossible to imagine.

The woman opened a box of tea tree shampoos and began marking the bottles. ‘I mean, it’s not like I’m going to have kids, but you never-’

She bit off her last words. Laine watched. Embarrassment bloomed in the other woman’s pale cheeks.

‘Pardon?’ asked Laine. She could see the girl’s jaw was tight.

‘Nothing.’

Christ, she had some other kind of sickness? Cervical cancer? That would be so cruel, a girl this attractive and young unable to have kids. She touched her shoulder.

‘Are you okay? Jesus, I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. But is it serious?’

‘No, nothing like that. No.’

She gently took Laine’s wrist and lifted her hand off her shoulder. Laine found her skin on the underside of her wrist tingling. How long has it been since anyone touched me there? The girl kept her eyes on the floor. ‘It’s a preference thing.’

Laine’s eyes widened just a little as she understood. ‘Oh.’

The girl nodded and smiled.

Laine kicked herself. Gavin might have tried to crack on to this woman, but it certainly didn’t happen the other way round.

‘I didn’t. . I wasn’t trying to pry,’ she said.

‘That’s okay.’

‘Does your. . your partner must have been relieved your tests were clear.’

The girl put her hands in her pockets. Her blush deepened, then she frowned and laughed. ‘I’m. . I’m not. . I’m single right now.’

Laine held up her hand — I understand.

‘The joys of being out there, huh?’

‘Yeah.’ She laughed and rolled her eyes in mock despair.

Laine smiled. The girl’s eyes were dark brown, the beautiful colour of polished rosewood. ‘But, hey,’ said Laine, ‘this must work as a way to meet people.’ She waved at the shop surrounds.

‘You’d be surprised how bad, actually.’ She laughed again. ‘I mean, if I was into threesomes with very hairy vegan couples, this would be paradise. But I like. . I prefer, you know, more sophisticated women.’

She held her gaze on Laine. Her expression was frank. Women like you, it said. But the moment Laine thought she read that, the other woman looked away and got back to her work.

Laine found her heart thudding harder. Was she afraid? She’d never had a woman try to pick her up. Was she trying to pick me up? Is she just being nice? How do I say no?

Do I say no?

Laine blinked, shocked at her own thoughts, and knocked a packet of caraway seeds onto the floor.

‘Sorry!’ she said, and stooped to pick it up.

‘Don’t be silly.’ The girl knelt, too. As they stooped, their foreheads tunked together.

‘Ow!’

‘Oh!’

The girl threw back her head and laughed. Laine smiled wider, rubbing her head. She’s attractive. She has beautiful skin. Beautiful lips. How long since you were kissed? How long since anyone traced their fingers over your belly? Looked at you like you were beautiful? Laine inhaled through her nostrils. The girl’s hair smelled like sandalwood. Exotic. Different. Clean and exciting. And her eyes. Dark brown and deep. . Laine shook her head as if to clear it. What was she thinking? She’d never found other women attractive. This was ridiculous: the young woman was simply doing her job, being pleasant. And me? I’m just tired. And yeah, maybe a bit lonely.

‘What’s your name?’ the girl asked, watching her.

‘Laine.’

‘Laine.’ She said the name slowly, her tongue flicking behind her white teeth, as if tasting it.

Laine felt a small shudder below her navel.

She’s seducing me, she thought. I don’t want this.

Are you sure?

‘And yours?’ Laine asked.

‘Rowena.’ She stared at Laine’s face, her skin, her eyes. Appraising. Approving. ‘Here.’ She reached up and gently swept aside the stray hairs over Laine’s eyes, pushed them back and swooped them behind Laine’s ear. Laine sucked in a breath at the touch of another’s fingertips on her temple, her ear, her neck. Laine half-turned her head. I shouldn’t like this. Not from a girl.

‘How’s that bump?’ Rowena whispered.

She softly took Laine’s face in both hands. Her palms were dry and cool. She tilted Laine’s face to her own. Her mouth opened slightly and she leaned forward.

‘Looks just fine,’ she whispered softly, and dropped her eyes to look right into Laine’s.

Those eyes, thought Laine. Beautiful eyes. I could do this. I think I’d like to do this.

Rowena smiled. Lips apart. White teeth. Red lips.

‘Good,’ whispered Laine. She leaned forward.

The ringing of her mobile phone was as shrill and sudden as a steam whistle. Laine rocked back in surprise. Rowena’s fingers slid on her skin, and one nail caught on her jaw, slicing into the flesh, drawing blood.

‘Oh, God!’ cried Rowena. ‘I’m so sorry.’

Laine jerked back. What am I doing?! She felt the burning of the deep scratch on her jaw.

The phone trilled again, insistent. She fumbled into her bag.

‘It’s fine. Fine.’

‘You’re bleeding.’

Laine blinked, and raised her fingers to her cheek. They came away lightly dotted with red. Rowena stood and hurried to reach under the counter.

‘I’m fine, it’s nothing.’

Was I going to kiss her? What was I thinking?

Rowena returned with a tissue. ‘Here. .’

She gently reached for Laine’s cheek. Laine fought the urge to shrink back from her. Rowena pressed the tissue onto Laine’s skin. The scratch pulsed in new pain.