damn when we start screwing around with her calf.'
Bessie laughed. 'What can a cow do?'
'Listen, kid,' I said. 'When a wild-eyed cow comes charging at us, just don't stand in my way — okay?'
Anyhow, we circled around this little old calf about three feet high and closed in on her from three sides, and it wasn't such a problem as I expected it would be. She bleated a couple of times and jumped sideways and fidgeted a little, but she must've been used to being man-handled, because she let Pedro and Bessie grab onto her without too much fuss. There was a big old cow nearby watching us pretty close — must've been mother — but she didn't seem too concerned. So what if her only child was about to get diddled by a couple of dirty old men? What the hell.
Pedro got a good arm-lock on the little bastard's neck and Bessie was down on the ground underneath her, holding her around the middle.
'You better get up out of there,' I said. 'You're gonna get kicked in the Goddamn head.'
She said, 'Oh, she wouldn't dream of kicking me. She's so cute. I love her. Oooh, I wish I could make love to her. Isn't there some way? Ooooh man — I want to feel her rubbing me all over.'
She hopped up and pulled her minidress over her head and tossed it away. That was it for her, clothes-wise. Bessie never wore underwear of any kind. Said it was 'too confining, and unsanitary besides.' So here she was naked again — her natural condition. Bessie never passed up any excuse to get naked for whatever reason — in public or private.
She threw herself against the calf now, rubbing her dirty white hide against the calf's dirty brown one. She lifted up one long skinny leg and rubbed her inner thigh along the calf's hind leg and then squashed her floppy boobs down against her flank and ground her nipples against the rough hide.
'Ooooh, this is groovy,' she cooed. 'Isn't there some way I can make it with her? Tell me how. There must be something sexy she can do to me.'
Pedro gave her a hard swipe across the ass. 'Will you cool it, for Chrissakes? I want to see Jack fuck this Goddamn beast. Isn't that what we stopped for? You can get your jollies later. Now grab on there again, will you? We gotta hold this mother-fucker still. You're just getting it all stirred up with your shit.'
She said, 'Well, come on then, Jack. I want to watch this too. Are you gonna screw her or not?'
I said. 'The thing is, I don't exactly feel in a hard-on mood right at the moment. To tell the truth, I miss the preliminary intimacies of the love-making process.'
'Oh shit,' Bessie said. 'I'll fix that.' She came over to me and unzipped my fly for me — she was very good at zippers — I think she majored in zippers at college — and then I let her pull down my pants and shorts and lit a cigarette while she went to work with her hot lips and snaky tongue on my flaccid member. It didn't take long. With her fingers at my balls and her mouth doing its usual brisk gobble-job on the old weenie, I was hard as a rock before I even threw the match away.
'Why don't we just forget about that fucking heifer?' I said, patting Bessie's tousled and verminous head. She was a pig, but a number-one blowjobber, that kid. 'I'd just as soon carry on with what we're presently doing, if it's all the same with you.'
But she let loose of me as soon as I was all the way up and vibrating and she dashed back to the calf to grab hold again.
'Come on,' she screamed. 'Now that you got it up — use it!'
I felt like a damn idiot but what could I do? There I stood in the middle of somebody's field with my pants down and a rampaging hard-on shining in the sunlight. What else was there to do but fuck a cow?
I knew it wasn't going to work though. You have to break a young calf in gradually. Diddle her with a dildo and all that before she's ready to take a real meat-prick. But I decided I might as well go through the motions of it anyhow — put on a show for these jerks.
'If you want to be helpful,' I said, 'you hold her head, Bessie, and let Pedro take her hind legs. You gotta really hang on there if it's gonna work. I just don't want to get kicked in the balls, if you don't mind.'
They switched around like I said, in deference to my balls, and then it was party-time. 'Hold that tiger,' I said. 'Here I come — ready or not.' I kicked off my pants and moved in behind the little brown ass, trying to remember how I'd seen other kids do it back on the farm.
First I thought I'd better find a stick or something though, to poke in there and sort of try the passageway.
'Let's go, man,' Pedro yelled. 'She's getting hot for you already. I can feel it.'
I decided I'd just use my hand to test the hole. If I could get a couple of fingers inside, that would give me an idea whether I'd have a fighting chance at risking my fragile ding-dong in the rump of that treacherous son of a bitch. I moved in cautiously. I wasn't really sure whether these bastards kicked or not, but I felt awful Goddamn vulnerable with my weenie out in the open air, standing high wide and handsome with no protection whatsoever between it and the possible fury of a rampaging beast.
I began by patting her ever so gently on the flanks and speaking soft seductive words. Calm her down — that was the thing.
'Nice baby. Sweet little heifer. Daddy loves you — yes indeed.' What the hell do you say to a calf, anyhow? Everybody knows how to talk to dogs and cats and horses. But who ever heard of talking to a cow? Anyhow, she hadn't started kicking yet at least.
'Hold that bastard, whatever you do,' I whispered to Pedro. Then I started patting and probing down along the crack of her ass. She shivered a little when I touched close to home but no major reactions yet. Even when I gave her a couple of pats on the pussy — no alarm bells.
She didn't really flinch until I dug one finger down the inner edges of her crease and sort of eased open the outer flaps just a hair. Then she crouched down a bit and twitched her tail at me. I gave her another reassuring pat on the side of the ass and talked to her some more before I tried digging any deeper. I was hoping to hell she wasn't as nervous as I was.
'What the hell are you doing back there?' Pedro yelled. 'Looking for the hole?'
'Sh-h-h,' I said. 'Don't spook her, Goddamnit. You gotta take these things slow when you're dealing with a shy young female critter.'
Bessie said, 'You never showed all this sweet consideration when you were fucking around my rear end. Wham bam is all I ever got!'
I said, 'Different cows call for different kinds of handling.' I'd let her figure that one out.
She said. 'Moo-oo.'
Now I got first one finger up inside her and then two fingers, and I worked them in to about the second knuckle and diddled around very carefully. Her cunt was soft and warm and wet and slimy — not a hell of a lot different in its feel and shape from a woman's pussy. It was sort of like rooting around in some big old whore's snatch actually, is what it made me think of.
I got my whole hand in there finally and started to ease it in and out slow and easy, and she was sort of twitching and fidgeting now and swatting hell out of me with her tail and trying to shuffle her hind feet, but Pedro had a good grip on her.
Then she started shaking her head up and down and bleating to beat hell, 'Ma-a-a — ma-a-a-a!' That did it. Mama got the message and this big fierce-looking black and white cow took a couple of steps our way and let out a moo that would wake the dead.
Bessie squealed and yelled, 'Watch it! I think she's coming for us.'
'You're a woman,' I said, 'You talk to her. Tell her it's okay.'
Bessie yelled at the cow, 'Mo-oo-moo-oo!'
That seemed to confuse her and she backed off again.
Pedro laughed. 'Whatever you said to her, it must've been the right thing.'
I figured now was the time if I ever was to get it into this little fucker's cunt and be done with it. 'Hang on, you bastards,' I said. 'Hang on. Here goes nothing.'
I stepped up behind the calf, gave my prick a couple of hard strokes to firm it up, and then laid it on that little slit right where my fingers had been and eased the head of it very carefully inside. It went in as easy as the fingers had. I felt the warm soft snatch clutch onto it — a real pleasant feeling actually. I began to think that this might turn out to be a groovier piece of action than maybe I'd figured on, once I got all the way in. I put the pressure on and pushed forward from the hips as hard as I could, but slow and easy still, and inch-by-inch that sweet little
