'I told you this would be worth rising early for, Claudius, you lazy old drunk. Did you think I'd let you forget your promise and leave you lying with that little slut you sneaked away with when you thought I wasn't looking?'
The braying tones, the stained clothes and the way the Emperor's head lolled on his long neck told Rufus that even if this Claudius had been to bed, Caligula himself had not yet called a halt to the night's revels.
'Boy! You, boy. Let us see what the beast can do. It had better be goo — '
The roar of an elephant whose morning toilet had been rudely interrupted obliterated the words.
Caligula blinked and rocked back on his heels. Then, with a loud laugh, he slapped his companion on the back so hard that the man was almost knocked off his feet.
'Nearly scared the shit out of you, eh? You were never very brave, Uncle Claudius. 'S why old Tiberius sent you away. Lucky I brought you back. Tricks, boy,' he said in a voice now with a worrying edge to it. 'I brought Senator Claudius here to see some tricks. And because he's got ears as big as an elephant's, haven't you, Claudius?'
The Emperor stood behind his companion, took a remarkably prominent earlobe in each hand and pulled outwards.
'See, just like an elephant. Uncle Claudius hasn't had a lot of luck in his life, have you, Uncle? Runt of the litter. Talks l-l-l-l-like that and is bloody useless in every way. Still, he's family,' he said, rubbing his hand affectionately through the older man's thinning hair. 'Tricks, now. We want to see some elephant tricks.'
Rufus felt something curl over his shoulder and pull impatiently at his arm. He said nervously: 'If the Emperor could wait a few moments longer, I — '
He was interrupted by Caligula's snarl. 'I don't wait, boy.'
Heart sinking, Rufus bowed. His only hope was to put Bersheba through her paces and pray that Caligula — at least he was still drunk — was somehow impressed. He was about to turn back towards the elephant when a tremendous jet of water shot past his shoulder. It was a mighty effort, an entire trunkful propelled with all the power of Bersheba's prodigious lungs. It took the shocked Claudius full in the chest and face, soaking him to the skin and rocking him back on his heels, and was instantly followed by a squeal of outraged indignation.
Rufus froze. It couldn't have happened. Not that. He was a dead man.
The two men, Emperor and uncle, could have been part of one of the marble tableaux that adorned Caligula's palace. They stood, stockstill, pale-faced, eyes wide in shock.
Then Caligula laughed.
It started deep in his belly, a pulsating unstoppable rumbling that surged into his chest and finally erupted in a series of hysterical whoops. The Emperor held his stomach with one hand, helpless to stop the relentless guffaws, while with the other he pointed at the hapless Claudius.
The older man's wispy grey hair was plastered across his pink scalp and his sodden toga dripped a steady stream of water on to the ground at his feet. His lips moved, but the words he searched for eluded him and his pale eyes stared at Rufus with a look of pure bewilderment.
By the time the Emperor's laughter subsided to a series of breathless sobs, Rufus's instinct for self- preservation had reasserted itself. He strode across to Bersheba and whispered the order to mount. She took a single step forward, bent one giant knee until it touched the ground, and bowed her head forward. But Rufus didn't use her leg to vault on to her back as he normally would. Instead, he stood motionless beside Bersheba until the Emperor recovered and looked in their direction. Then he gave a deep bow.
To Caligula it appeared as if both animal and slave were making their obeisance to him. He clapped his hands, crying: 'Wonderful. What a trick. I haven't seen anything that made me truly laugh for years. Now I shall bring all my friends to see the elephant and it can greet them as it greeted Uncle Claudius. Come, Claudius, let's get back and get you dried out,' he said, taking the still-dripping senator by the arm. 'But you're not even smiling? You must see the funny side, surely. A senator of Rome looking like a drowned rabbit. Ha, ha, ha..'
Claudius shook himself free of his nephew's arm and turned to stare at Rufus and the elephant. 'Wh-wh-wh- what is your name, slave?'
Rufus hesitated: 'It is Rufus, sir. I'm very sorry. Bersheba did not mean to harm you.'
Claudius stared at him for a second. 'R-r-r-rufus. I will r-r-r-remember that.'
Then the bedraggled figure limped slowly after the Emperor, whose broad shoulders still shook with laughter.
XV
For weeks, Rufus waited in dread for the Emperor's return, but Caligula never did bring anyone else to see the elephant. There was always the nagging fear that he would turn up and demand to see a new and even more hilarious trick, but Rufus was able to put the matter to the back of his mind and get to know better the ways of his new charge.
Bersheba's only obvious weakness was her sight. The small eyes, set to the front of the big, sail-eared head, gave her little peripheral vision. But if her eyesight was defective, her other senses amply compensated for it. The two hairy nostrils set into the fleshy pink end of her five-foot trunk were so finely tuned it scarcely seemed believable. Her hearing, too, verged on the supernatural. When visitors approached, Bersheba was aware of their presence minutes before either Varro or Rufus. The elephant's early-warning system kept them out of quite serious trouble on several occasions, when the Emperor's overseers came to call.
Of course, some visitors were more welcome than others.
He was exercising Bersheba on the parkland in front of the barn when he saw them. At first, he didn't know what to make of the noisy little group, but as they came closer he recognized the excited, highpitched voices of young women.
There were six of them, accompanied by two Praetorians. Rufus scanned the faces of the two soldiers, but neither was Cupido. Caligula had hundreds of guards stationed on the Palatine and in the surrounding area. The gladiator could be anywhere, if he was still alive.
Careful not to make it obvious, he let his gaze stray across the women. When he realized who they were a shiver of apprehension ran down his spine. Bersheba must have sensed his unease, because her big shoulders shifted beneath him and her trunk came up to test the air. For once, Rufus did not need her talents. He knew danger when he saw it, and to underestimate this innocent gathering would be as fatal as stepping on a nest of mating cobras.
'Why haven't you brought us here before, Drusilla?' the oldest of the group demanded of the tall girl at her side.
'You know full well, Milonia, that your husband, my brother, forbade it. But while Gaius Caligula is off to outdo Xerxes at Baiae, Callistus would not dare oppose my wishes, nor yours, sweet sister.' Caligula's sister Drusilla gave a waspish smile. 'Of course, if he discovered you were risking the life of his baby daughter in the presence of the great beast, you would be making a living on your back again from passing soldiers, although I'm sure you wouldn't find it too unpleasant.'
Milonia, a strong-featured woman with a hawkish nose, huffed: 'Hark at the innocent one, to talk that way of me. Didn't you share my husband's bed long before I and does the whole world not know it?'
Drusilla laughed, and tossed her auburn hair. 'It was a mere sisterly duty, and a not unpleasant one at that. Can it be, Milonia, you fear my brother will tire of your ever so professional efforts and seek out a sweeter, more succulent fruit?'
'Must we always return to this subject?' the third of the group, a plump young woman in a pink dress, interrupted. 'My ears ache at your constant prattle and you know how the servants talk.'
'I think you are just jealous, Livilla, that you and Agrippina are too plain to attract the Emperor's attentions,' Drusilla said. 'It is an honour as well as a pleasure to share his bed. Think of it, a pure bloodline direct from Augustus as our brother's heir. Better that than the fat little monkey who is the fruit of Agrippina's unattractive husband's loins.'
Agrippina gave Drusilla a cool smile. She had heard all this a dozen times before and was immune to her sister's mocking.
