Dead And Buried

rolls and coffee, did you, thanks to our friend knocking them all over the street?’

‘The bacon rolls were okay. Ah picked them up.’

‘Are you telling me that you and Starr stood there munching bacon rolls with an amputated finger lying on the counter?’

‘They’d hae got cold.’

‘Jesus, I don’t believe it. If you’d been really hungry would you have eaten the finger as well?’

Smith looked wounded. ‘Dae you think Ah’m a fuckin’ cannibal?’

‘Nothing I learn about you is going to surprise me, pal. But for now let’s just stick to what happened this morning. What time did you leave the office?’

The witness rearranged his eyebrows as if it was part of his thought process. ‘It wid hae been about five tae eleven, Ah suppose. But whit’s that got tae dae wi’ it? The boy wisnae there then.’

The detective sergeant grimaced. ‘Listen. This isn’t a formal interview, and you’re not under suspicion. All I’m doing here is getting your version of this morning’s events. But we’ll be done much quicker if you let me ask the questions.’ He ground out the last four words.

‘Aye, okay. Get on wi’ it then.’

‘Very good, sir. When you left, were you aware of anyone hanging around? Think about it, please; give yourself time to search your memory.’

Smith’s face twisted again, indicating intense thought. Suddenly a light seemed to go on in his eyes: it took Pye by surprise. ‘Aye, now ye mention it. There was somebody standin’, lookin’ in the windae of the shop two doors doon. Ah think it wis the boy. It struck me as strange at the time.’

‘Why was that?’

‘Because the shop two doors doon belongs tae a plumber. He uses it as an office an’ a store, ken, but just for a laugh he has a lavvy in the windae, wi’ a cistern, seat and everything.’

‘Okay, that’s good. You said you think it was the robber: without putting any pressure on you, is that as positive as you can be?’

‘Naw. Naw. Naw, naw, naw. It wis him a’ right. Same jacket, same hat, same height. Big skinny cunt.’

‘Fine. Now, let’s move forward. How long were you away?’

‘Just a few minutes, like. The corner shop’s just a wee bit up the road. Ah went in, picked up the rolls and the coffee, got ma fags, had a wee chat wi’ Vijay, and that was it.’

‘Cold bacon rolls?’

Smith gave a small shudder at the thought. ‘Fuck no. Hot. Wi’ brown sauce.’

‘Didn’t you have to wait for the bacon to be cooked?’

‘Usually Ah dae, but today Vijay was off his mark right early. He had them waitin’ for me, right on eleven.’

‘You and Starr have bacon rolls every morning?’

‘Aye. He pays, like.’

‘Top-class employer.’

‘Aye, he’s no’ bad.’

‘Okay, let’s say you were gone ten minutes. Would that be about right?’

‘Just aboot.’

‘Tell me what happened when you got back.’

‘Ye know a’ready. Mr Starr telt ye.’

‘Yes, and now I want to hear it from you,’ said Pye, patiently.

‘It wis just like he said. Ah’d got tae the door o’ the shop when it opened and the boy came chargin’ out like one o’ thon Pamplona bulls.’

The sergeant was struck dumb. Experience had taught him that every so often a nugget of pure gold would be found in the most barren seam, but it could never prepare him for such a discovery.

‘And you collided?’ he asked, after a few seconds, resisting the urge to ask Big Ming whether he had run the bulls in his time.

‘Naw, Ah was just standing there, gettin’ ready tae open the door, when he crashed intae me.’

‘Let’s call that a collision.’

‘Call it a waste o’ two coffees.’

‘Be that as it may, how did you react?’

‘Ah didnae have time tae react, otherwise Ah’d have banjoed him. He never even looked at me, just turned and legged it doon the street and round the first corner.’

‘You got a good look at him this time, though?’

‘Oh, aye.’

‘Was he bleeding badly?’

‘Ah didnae notice him bleedin’ at a’, tae tell ye the truth. He was haudin’ one hand tight with the other.’

‘Did you see his eyes?’

‘Aye.’

‘Describe them.’

‘Whit . . . colour, like?’

‘No, just their expression.’

‘He looked like a fuckin’ Martian, like he wis frae another planet. Ken what Ah mean?’

‘Maybe, but explain.’

‘They were standing oot frae his heid like big pickled onions. But Ah suppose that’s no’ surprisin’ gi’en that he’d jist had a finger whacked aff.’

‘And had you ever seen him before?’

‘Naw, Ah don’t think so.’

‘There we go with that “think” again. Had you seen him before or had you not?’

‘Ah . . . Ah’m just no’ sure. There wis somethin’ about him that rang a bell, sort o’, but Ah’m buggered if Ah can remember, like Ah’ve seen the boy somewhere, but no’ there. D’ye ken?’

‘Sure, I know what you mean. One more thing and then we’re done. All the way through you’ve called him “the boy”. How old did you think he was?’

‘Early twenties.’

‘Are you certain?’

‘Oh, aye, Ah’m sure of that. Ah’ve got a brither that’s twenty-four, and this lad’s younger than him.’

Interesting, thought Pye. ‘Okay, Mr Smith, that’s us done.’ He switched off the tape. ‘I’ll have this typed up as a formal statement. You can either wait to sign it, or I’ll have an officer bring it to your home address or to your work.’

‘Ah’ll wait. Dinna want the polis at ma door, and Mr Starr’ll no thank me if yis come tae the shop for me.’

‘As you wish. Since you’ve missed your lunch, I’ll have somebody bring you a coffee and a sandwich while you wait. Want a paper as well?’

‘The News, if ye’ve got it. Ah’ll try and remember where Ah’ve seen the boy, honest.’

‘You do that,’ said Pye as he opened the door. ‘Maybe you bumped into him running the bulls in Pamplona.’

Six

‘My apologies, Neil,’ said Skinner, glancing at his watch as McIlhenney came in. ‘I said three o’clock, and I hate being late for a meeting I’ve called myself, especially when it’s in my own office.’

‘No worries, boss. I’ve been pretty busy clearing my desk anyway.’

‘Did you contact Inspector Shannon?’

‘Yes, I got hold of her. She’ll be here, three thirty on the dot, along with Mario.’

‘Fine, that gives us fifteen minutes. Coffee?’