Max hung up. Hopping on one foot again, he put his shoe back on.
“Max. .” 99 panted. “I can’t go on. . I’m too weak. .”
“99, just keep going for another few minutes. Look-there at the edge of the jungle! A native! He’s motioning to us. If we can just reach that native we’ll be safe!”
“Max. . I. .”
99 stumbled and fell to the ground.
Quickly, Max helped her to her feet. They raced on. But the elephants were only a few yards behind them now, and gaining.
“Max. . do something. .”
“I don’t have a weapon, 99. What can I do?”
“I don’t know. . but. . oh, Max, I can’t run another step!”
“Hold on, 99! I’ll try this capsule of plastic spray.”
“Max. . I’m falling!”
Max scooped 99 up into his arms, and, carrying her, ran on.
The elephants were only a few feet behind them, trumpeting triumphantly.
“Max! The spray!”
“I can’t, 99! I have my hands full!”
“Then give me the capsule!”
“I can’t, 99. It’s in my hand, and my hand is full of you. If I open my hand to give you the capsule, I’ll drop you. And, anyway, 99, it’s too late.”
“What do you mean, Max?”
“My legs won’t run any more, 99. I’m fallllllling!”
Max and 99 hit the ground together. They landed on top of the capsule. The capsule shot a spray of plastic behind them. The plastic spread out over the ground, and instantly hardened, stopping the elephants in their tracks, fixing them solid. Then, abruptly, the elephants vanished.
“Max! It was an illusion!” 99 groaned. “There weren’t any elephants!”
“And a good thing, too,” Max said, rising. “We’d have had a devil of a time prying those elephants loose from that plastic.”
“Why would we want to do a thing like that, Max?”
“99, we couldn’t have left them there like that. That would be a terrible thing to do. They’d never forgive us. Elephants have long memories, you know.”
Hassan tugged at Max’s sleeve. “That native,” he said, pointing. “He is approaching. Perhaps we had better start running again.”
Max peered at the native, who was dressed in a costume of brightly-colored feathers.
“He looks friendly enough to me,” Max said.
“We better not take a chance,” Hassan said. “This is cannibal territory.”
“Nonsense,” Max said. “He’s smiling.”
“Smiling? I think he is licking his lips,” Hassan murmured.
The native reached them, and stood grinning at them.
Max raised a hand as a sign of friendship. “Me bwana Max Smart, Agent 86,” he said. He indicated 99 and Hassan. “And this is bwana Agent 99 and bwana Hassan Pfeiffer. We travel many suns through jungle. We no catchum food, no catchum water. You show us place catchum food, catchum water, we pay you plenty big wampum-chain-driven saxophone, only one of kind.”
“Crazy, dad,” the native replied, grinning even more broadly. “You’re just in time for the cooky break. Come on back to the castle with me, man-you and your chick and your sideman-and we’ll put on the feedbag.”
Max turned to 99 and Hassan. “It’s just no use,” he said. “We can’t communicate.”
“No, Max, I think I understood him,” 99 said. “He says it’s time for lunch. And he’s inviting us to his home, or his village, or someplace, to eat with him.”
“Amazing!” Max said. “I didn’t know you spoke Native, 99.”
“I don’t, Max. He’s speaking a kind of English.”
“Yeh, dad,” the native said to Max. “I matriculated in the States.”
“There he goes again,” Max said. “Pure gibberish.”
“He means he went to school in the United States, Max,” 99 translated.
“Oh, really?” Max said, facing the native again. “I don’t recognize the jargon. Where in the States did you go to school?”
“Boston, dad. Funny you don’t catchum the accent.”
“Please,” 99 said to the native, “could you take us to your whatever-it-is, now? I’m starved.”
“Fall in, chick,” the native replied. “We’ll double-time it.”
“Now that you mention it, there
The native led the way, and, trotting, the four of them followed a trail that took them quickly through the jungle. A few minutes later they came to a native village, a clearing that was surrounded by a circle of grass huts. The native escorted them into the center of the clearing. Immediately, other natives poured from the huts and gathered around them, cheering happily and shouting greetings.
“I guess they’ve never seen a secret agent before,” Max said.
“No, that’s not it,” their friend told them. “That cheering is for me, not you.”
“Is that a fact?” Max said. “What have you done?”
“I’ve returned successfully,” their friend replied.
“Oh. Out on a mission, were you?”
“Yes. I was out shopping for lunch.”
“Really? Well, what did you bring back?”
“You,” their friend grinned. “You’re lunch.”
“Max! They’re cannibals!” 99 shrieked.
Max smiled smugly. “Nothing to worry about, 99.”
“But, Max! Didn’t you hear what he said? They’re going to have us for lunch!”
“99, this is simply another illusion. There are no natives here. There is no village. None of this exists.
