Missed It By That Much!

Doing a shuffle-off-to-Buffalo, Max danced several steps backwards, nearing the spotlight.

Who was it rapping? Was it a ghost?

Could I sell you-

“Max!” 99 cried, leaping up.

Max was nowhere in sight.

99 ran to the edge of the pit. “Max-are you all right? Speak to me!”

“to the Saturday Evening Post,” Max replied from deep in the pit.

“Max! Are you delirious?”

“No, 99. That’s the last line of the poem. The final stanza goes:

Who was it rapping? Was it a ghost?

Could I sell you a subscription to the

Saturday Evening Post?

“It rhymes, Max, but it doesn’t make much sense.”

“It did then, 99. When I was in third grade I was selling magazine subscriptions door-to-door. I was getting in a plug. That’s why I got all those offers from Hollywood and Broadway. I’d created a work of art with a sales message.”

“Max. . give me your hand. I’ll help you out.”

When Max had been rescued from the pit, he and 99 covered it again with vines and twigs.

“Well, at least, we know it works,” 99 said.

“Yes, it’s perfect,” Max said. He frowned. “That’s what bothers me, 99. It’s too perfect.”

“I don’t understand, Max.”

“When Whitestone sees this spotlight, won’t he become suspicious? After all-a spotlight? In the middle of the jungle? Won’t he guess that, as an ex-vaudevillian, it was planted here especially for him?”

“Max, I think you’re right.”

“We’ll have to rig up a different kind of trap,” Max said. “Something that isn’t quite so obvious.”

“Do you have anything in mind, Max?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. The old vine-tied-to-the-tip-end-of-a-tall-supple-young-tree-and-the-other-end- with-a-loop-in-it-hidden-on-the-ground-and-covered-with-branches trick.”

“I think I’ve heard of it. But doesn’t it have a shorter name?”

“It’s also called The Number Twenty-Six, or The Upsa-Daisy.”

“Oh, yes, now I remember.”

“First,” Max said, gathering vines, “we’ll braid these into a long rope.”

When they had finished that, Max lassoed the tip of a tall, supple, young tree, and bent the tree until the tip touched the ground. Then he secured the tip to a stake he had driven into the earth.

“What now, Max?”

“Now, we make a loop in the other end of this rope,” Max explained. “And we place the loop on the trail and cover it with branches.”

“I see. And then Whitestone comes along and steps in the loop and trips the trap and the loop tightens around his ankle and the tree springs up and there he is, dangling from the tree.”

“By the rope.”

“Yes, by the rope.”

“Without the rope, he couldn’t dangle from the tree.”

“Yes, I understand, Max.”

“But you didn’t mention it. And, without the rope, he couldn’t dangle from the tree.”

“I’m sorry, Max. I should have mention-”

99 was interrupted by a ringing sound.

“I think that’s the doorbell,” Max said. “Will you get it, 99?”

“Max, it’s your shoe.”

“Oh. . yes. .”

Max removed his shoe.

Max: 86, here. Is that you, Chief?

Chief: Yes, Max, it’s me. Why haven’t you called? I’ve been worried about you. Did you manage to get away from those elephants?

Max: Of course, Chief.

Operator: I knew it! Self! Self! Self! That’s all you ever think of, Max. All you had to do was get run down by one little elephant and Arnold’s career would have been assured. But no, you had to escape! Self! Self! Self!

Max: Operator, I’m sorry. But I’ll make it up to Arnold. The next time I meet a rampaging elephant, I’ll throw myself in its path.

Operator: When, Max? People are always making promises like that, but they never follow through. When?

Chief: Operator, will you get off the line, please. This is a top-secret conversation. Max, are you still there? What progress have you made?

Max: We’re hot on Dr. Livingstrom’s trail, Chief. At the moment, however, we’re taking time out to trap that KAOS agent, Whitestone. He’s been giving us a lot of trouble.

Operator: Max, when you get back, you’re invited to my house for dinner. There’s a nice elephant I want you to meet.

Chief: Operator! Please! (pause) Max, don’t waste too much time on that KAOS agent. Remember, the most important thing is to find Dr. Livingstrom and get the formula from him.

Operator: Here are the seating arrangements for the dinner, Max. Arnold will be seated at my left, and his mother will be seated at my right, and you’ll be seated under the elephant.

Max: Chief, we can’t talk-there’s too much interference. I’ll call you later.

Chief: You’re probably right, Max. Over and out.

Operator: Watch for rampaging elephants, Max. A promise is a promise.

Max put his shoe back on his foot.

“The trap is ready, Max,” 99 reported.

“Fine. Now, let’s conceal ourselves in the underbrush again, and wait for Whitestone to come along and step into that loop.”

Not long after they had hidden, they heard a sound on the trail.

“It’s him-he’s coming!” Max said. “Quiet, 99!”

“I didn’t say anything, Max.”

“You just did! Quiet!”

A moment later, a large lion wandered into the clearing, crossed it, then disappeared into the jungle.

“Oh, Max,” 99 said, disappointed. “Did you see what happened? That lion stepped into the loop, but the trap didn’t spring.”

“And good thing. What would we do with a lion, 99?”

“But, don’t you see? If the lion didn’t trip the trap, Whitestone won’t either.”

“Oh. Well, let’s not jump to conclusions, 99. After all, it’s not a lion trap, it’s a Whitestone trap. That may make a difference.”

“I doubt it, Max.”

“Let’s give it a chance,” Max said.

Again, they waited. Soon, they heard a sound on the trail once more. Then a leopard strolled into the clearing. The leopard stopped at the point where the loop had been camouflaged. It sniffed, then stepped into the loop, then out of it, and loped off into the jungle.

“Oh, Max. .”

“99, I refuse to jump to conclusions. We’ll wait.”

Minutes passed. Then a gorilla emerged from the jungle. It reached the loop, dug it up from under the vines