“Oops! Careful!”
“Sorry, Max. This is so new to me.”
“Step by step, 99. You can do it.”
“All right, Max-ready? I’ll-”
“What is it, 99? Trouble?”
“Max, why am I carrying you on my shoulders?”
“99, you’re holding me up so I can keep my hand over the gas pipe. If I let go, the gas will come shooting- Just stand still, 99-I’ll be right down.”
Max hopped down to the floor, then moved on the door, got it by the knob, and rattled it.
“What do you think, Max?”
“Rattling the knob isn’t going to get us out of here.”
“It’s too bad we don’t have that dynamite with us, now that we’re nowhere near any peanut brittle.”
“99! That’s it!”
“Dynamite?”
“No.”
Max reached down and got his shoe.
“Peanut brittle?”
“No, 99, a new gadget developed by R amp; D. It’s an electronic sound, so high-pitched that when it strikes an object it shatters it to bits. I’m going to call the Chief and have him send the sound over the telephone line.”
“And knock down the door?”
“Knock it down? 99, this sound is so destructive it will splinter that door to ashes.”
“Wonderful, Max. What did our scientists have in mind when they developed it?”
“They were having trouble getting the lid off a jelly jar.”
“Oh. But, Max, if it’s that powerful-”
“Later, 99,” Max interrupted, dialing.
Operator: Maybe you bought seven packs of gum at a going-out-of-business sale. At four cents apiece, that’s twenty-eight cents.
Max: Nevermind that now, Operator. Get me the Chief.
Operator: I wouldn’t call him if I couldn’t explain that twenty-eight cents.
Max: Will you let me worry about that, Operator?
Operator: I’m afraid you’ll get fired, Max. Then I wouldn’t have your kooky calls to listen to. I’d have to fold up my cot and go home.
Max: Really, Operator, would that be so terrible?
Operator: I’d miss my family. They’re living here at the telephone company with me.
Max: Your whole family?
Voice: Hi, Max-this is Uncle Ned.
Max: Supervisor!
Operator: All right, all right, don’t be a stool pigeon! With whom did you wish to speak to whom, Please?
Max: The Chief! And fast!
(click)
Chief: Control. . Chief here. .
Max: It’s me, Agent 86, Chief.
Chief: Good-got that door opened, eh? All right now, Max, about that twenty-eight cents. Do you have any idea-
Max: Chief, the door is still locked. That’s why I called you. Remember that marvelous gadget that R amp; D developed last week-the one that works on the principle of high-pitched sound waves?
Chief: You mean the jelly jar opener, Max?
Max: Right, Chief. Now-
Operator: Are you listening, Uncle Ned? Here comes the kooky part. Max wants to use the jelly jar opener on the door.
Voice: Hee-hee-hee! Old Maxie!
Chief: Who was that!
Max: Ignore it, Chief. Here’s the thing-would it be possible to send that sound over the telephone line? I’d like to use it to disintegrate this door.
Chief: We could try it, Max. I have the gadget right here. It’s sitting on my desk.
Max: Isn’t that a little dangerous, Chief? A gadget like that, sitting around on a desk.
Chief: I don’t intend to leave it here, Max. I’m taking it home with me tonight. I have a jar of pickles that’s been sitting in the refrigerator for months and the lid has rusted. I thought-
Max: I understand, Chief. But, could we take care of my door first? I’ll aim my shoe at it, and you send the sound over the line-all right?
Chief: Just let me know when you’re ready, Max.
Max: Pardon, Chief? I didn’t get that.
Chief: Ready, I said.
Max: Ready?
(Sound of sizzling wires)
Chief: Did that do it, Max?
Max: I didn’t have it aimed at the door yet, Chief.
Chief: Where was it aimed?
Max: I’d rather not say, Chief. But I’ll tell you this much-it’ll be a long time before I ever have to wash my right ear again.
Voice: Hee-hee-hee! Old Maxie!
Max: Will you just stay out of this, Uncle Ned, please? Chief-try it again. When I say ‘now.’
Chief: Now?
Max: Yes, now.
(Sound of sizzling wires)
Max: Perfect, Chief! Where that door was, there is nothing but a small pile of ashes!
Chief: Good, Max. Now, can we discuss that twenty-eight cents?
Max: I’d like to finalize this mission first, Chief, if you don’t mind.
Chief: How long would it take to explain twenty-eight cents, Max?
Max: All right-just say I made a couple phone calls.
Chief: Phone calls are a dime apiece. This is for twenty-eight cents.
Max: Then call it two and eight-tenths phone calls, Chief.
Chief: Finally! I don’t know why you have to make such a big problem out of a little matter like twenty-eight cents, Max. All right, that takes care of it. Good luck with the mission.
Operator: Max? Uncle Ned wants to know if he’ll have time for a nap before you make your next kooky call.
Max: Supervisor!
(click)
