“Max!” 99 hissed. “Stop flipping that penny and-”
He turned to her. “What did you say, 99? I was busy flipping the-”
There was a clink. Max had failed to catch the penny and it had dropped to the floor.
“Max!”
The Coolidge-head penny was rolling across the floor. Max dashed after it.
But just then, Arbuthnot shouted, “Spray it! He was handling it-it’s germ-infested!”
And as Max was about to reach the penny, the conductor sprayed. The spray missed the coin and hit Max straight in the face. And the Coolidge-head penny got away and rolled down a crack between two planks.
“Max! It’s gone!” 99 cried.
Max was wiping spray from his face. “Gone where?” he replied, on the brink of panic.
“All this excitement about a penny?” Arbuthnot asked. “You people in Control sure must be poorly-paid.” He spoke to the conductor again. “Get them out of here!” he said.
“Just let me get that penny!” Max protested. “Where did it go?”
“It’s too late, Max!” 99 told him. “It dropped through the floor.”
“Oh,” Max replied, looking pained. He thought a second, then spoke to Arbuthnot. “I wonder if I could borrow a few of your assassins for a minute to help me pull up these planks,” he said.
“Enough!” Arbuthnot screeched. He turned to the conductor, “Take care of him!” he commanded.
The conductor dug into his pocket, got out some change, and handed a penny to Max. “There-now, we’re square,” he said.
“That’s not what I meant!” Arbuthnot screamed. “You’re an assassin, not a banker! When I say ‘take care of him,’ I mean- Oh, nevermind. Just get them out of here! All this commotion is stirring up the germs!”
4
The Conductor motioned to Max and 99, directing them outside. When they reached the street, he ordered them to halt. Then he glanced about, looking for a place to imprison them,
“How about putting us back on the train,” Max suggested. “You could lock us in the baggage car.”
“If it’s your idea, it couldn’t be any good,” the conductor replied.
“Why don’t you lock us in a room in the hotel,” 99 suggested.
The conductor looked shocked.
“It’s all right-we’re married,” 99 assured him.
The conductor looked suspicious. “Yeah? That’s what they all say. Let’s see your marriage license.”
“I don’t carry it with me,” Max said. “But, use your head-why would we want to be locked in the same hotel room if we weren’t married?”
The conductor thought for a moment. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “But, you’re so anxious, there must be something you could do. And you’re not going to use me for your patsy. I’ll think of someplace else to lock you up. There must be-” He suddenly brightened. “Sure! There’s always an abandoned mine in these old ghost towns.” He shaded his eyes and squinted toward the hills. “It’s up there somewhere,” he said. He motioned with the pistol again. “March!”
Max, 99 and the conductor left the town and walked to the foothills. After a short search, the conductor located the entrance to an abandoned mine.
“See? I knew it would be here,” he said. “You watch educational TV and you learn a lot of things.”
“Oh? What did you see this on?” Max asked. “ ‘Abandoned Mines and Other Curious Natural Phenomena’?”
The conductor shook his head. “In a movie,” he replied. “ ‘Abbott amp; Constello Meet Wolf Man on the Planet of the Ants.’ It was about this beautiful girl who was engaged to marry the local banker’s son because her father couldn’t keep up the mortgage payments on his Dairy Queen stand. Abbott was masquerading as the girl, and Costello was chasing him across the ice, assisted by a pack of ravenous ants, when suddenly the ice broke and they dropped into this abandoned mine. I remember it because, although they were supposed to be shooting the picture on location in Antarctica, I kept catching glimpses of a sign saying ‘Los Angeles City Limits,’ and we’re in Los Angeles now, aren’t we?”
“You’re right,” Max replied. “You watch educational TV and you learn a lot of things.”
Again, the conductor gestured with the gun. “Inside!” he said.
“Have you noticed,” Max said, “that there’s no door on this abandoned mine? How do you intend to lock us in?”
“A rock slide,” the conductor replied. “That’s how it was done in ‘Abbott amp; Constello Meet-’ Nevermind. Just watch-I’ll show you.”
Max and 99 entered the abandoned mine. Then the conductor pointed his pistol into the air and fired it. There was a loud rumbling noise. A moment later, rocks came crashing down and completely covered the entrance to the abandoned mine, leaving Max and 99 trapped inside in total darkness.
“That’s how,” the conductor called in to them. “It has something to do with sound waves, I think. Either that or I’m magic.”
“Sound waves is my guess,” Max shouted back. “But how are you going to open that rock slide when it’s time to feed us?”
“Sound waves,” the conductor replied.
“That only works one way,” Max called out to him.
“I guess you better start hoping you were wrong about me not being magic, then,” the conductor said. “See you later-maybe.”
“Wait!” Max cried.
There was no response.
“He’s gone, Max,” 99 said dismally. “What are we going to do now?”
“Don’t panic, 99,” Max said calmly. “As I see it, we have several choices. We can use sound waves. Or we can use magic. Or we can die a horrible death. Now, as for the use of sound waves- Or, on the other hand, magic can be- Isn’t it funny, 99, how the first reaction so often turns out to be the correct reaction? You were right to panic.”
“If we only had a light-” 99 said. “I can’t see a thing. But this mine tunnel must lead somewhere. Why don’t we try following it in the dark, Max?”
“Because we’d lose it,” Max replied. “You know how impossible it is to shadow in the dark, 99. No, our best bet is to stay right here and try to do something about that rock slide in front of the entrance. Do you have a match?”
“No, Max.”
“Well, I guess I’ll have to use my lighter, then,” Max said.
A moment later, a small flame appeared in the darkness.
Max handed the lighter to 99. “Hold this,” he said. “I think I have some escape gadgets in my pockets. I picked up a handful the other day when I was in Research amp; Development. It’s a rare occasion when an escape gadget won’t come in handy. I’m always getting locked in closets and bath- Ah! Here’s something,” he said, extracting a pellet-like device from his trousers pocket. He read the instructions on the tag attached to the device. “ ‘Crush pellet in keyhole. Stand back. Stick fingers in ears.’ Well, that doesn’t seem too difficult,” he said. “Evidently the powder you get when you crush the pellet explodes, blowing the door right off its. . Mmmmmm. . we don’t seem to have a door, do we? No matter how you look at it, there’s just no keyhole in that rock slide.” He dropped the pellet to the floor of the tunnel. “Absolutely useless.”
“Max-”
“Don’t say it, 99! I know-not only is it littering to drop a pellet on a tunnel floor, but it’s also-in this case- dangerous. Somebody could come along and step on it and crush it and-and POW! But, don’t worry. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. I’ll get rid of it.” He put his foot on the pellet and crushed it. “Now, there’s no danger that somebody will come along and step on it and- Oh-oh!”
“Max!”
