of Dolls in from the desert and rebuild it here. Maybe I’ll drop back down here every now and then and bartend. I’m making sure someone puts the roof back on Tartarus and let Semyazah toss Mason’s soul down there. He can have the whole place to himself.”
Lucifer narrows his eyes.
“You ruined the furnace.”
“Tell Ruach if he wants to send down a plumber, we’ll welcome him or her or whatever else you have up there with open arms.”
“You might not make a terrible Lucifer after all,” says Lucifer.
“How’s the bleeding?”
God bodyslammed Lucifer out of Heaven with a thunderbolt during their war and his wounds have never healed. He’s been hiding the open, bleeding wound from other Hellions for how long? Thousands of years? A million? The linen bandages are still there when Lucifer opens his shirt, but just a few drops of blood have soaked through.
He says, “Healing nicely. The climate up north is excellent for the health. You should come visit sometime.”
“Don’t get too cozy up there. I was more than happy to put Mason in the ground, but I told you before that I’m just a temp. The gig is done. Hell is yours.”
Lucifer loops his arm through my Kissi arm and walks me to a window.
“You still don’t grasp the situation. I’m not Lucifer anymore. I’m Samael, and Samael is a creature of Heaven just like Lucifer is the lord of Hell. As of tonight, you are the new Lucifer.”
“Fuck that,” I say, backing off. “I quit. I abdicate. I’m impeaching myself. No way am I staying down here a second longer than I have to.”
“Actually, I think you are and it’s not my doing,” says Samael.
He looks at Alice.
“Are you ready to go home, my dear?”
“No,” she says. “If Jim is staying, then I’m staying, too.”
“Yeah, except I’m not staying. Get it?”
“I’m afraid you are,” says the angel. “I’m holding on to the key for safekeeping. With all due respect, you aren’t to be trusted with it.”
“We both have to go back so Allegra can put us back together.”
“I’m going back alone. You go ahead and make changes here. I’m going to make some changes up above.”
“You’re fucking ditching me?”
The angel walks to a shadow on the wall.
“I could give you a million reasons, but the simple truth is that I’m sick of you, your moods, your anger, and your hangovers. And the way you kept me chained in the backyard like a bad dog. I’ll go back to earth and pick up where you left off.”
“You don’t have any scars. And you’re too young. Everyone will know you’re not me.”
He smiles and points a finger.
“But will anyone care? I might not be as colorful as you, but I’m much less likely to get everyone around me killed. That goes a long way toward making friends.”
He steps into the shadow.
“Wait! Come back. I promise I won’t try to stop you.”
The angel steps back in but doesn’t move from the shadow.
“You need to take some things with you. Take Kasabian a crate of Maledictions. And have one of the soldiers bring you a hellhound. I figure there has to be a Sub Rosa engineer or charm maker who can modify the mechanics so it can move upright, more like a person. Kasabian can go where the brain went. Voila. He has a body.”
The angel sighs and squints at me.
“Is there anything else? Maybe I can get Bob Geldof to do a benefit to help you rebuild the place.”
“That would be awesome, but in the meantime . . .” I take out my black blade. The angel flinches, but takes it when I hand it to him butt first. “Give this to Candy and tell her to keep it safe for me. Tell her I’m coming back for it soon.”
The angel slips the knife into his waistband.
“I’ll get your cigarettes and your dog, but I’m not coming back here.”
“You?ier1C;You&9;re really going to hate L.A., Clarence.”
As he goes I yell, “And tell Muninn to send care packages! He owes me that.”
Lucifer looks around and says, “I think that’s my cue to go. I’ll stop by from time to time to see how you’re faring. And, Alice, if you ever change your mind and want to come home, just whistle. I’ll be here in a flash.”
“Thank you,” she says.
“No,” I say. “I’m changing your mind for you. Go home. I know this place and I’m the boss now. I’ll be fine.”
