“You having fun up there?”
“This is really well built. They usually collapse by now.”
As she jumps she takes off her jacket and throws it at me. Then her shirt. Then her sneakers and her pants.
Still jumping, she says, “Come on. Let’s break it.”
I catch her on a jump and drop her flat on her back. Climb on the sofa and kneel over her. She unbuckles my pants while I take off my shirt.
This time it’s more like when we first stayed at the Beat Hotel together. We smash the coffee table when I flip her over on top of it. We knock over potted bamboos and splinter chairs. But we never make a dent in the sofa.
Later, my phone rings.
“Answer that and you’re a dead man,” Candy says.
“Since when do you ever not answer your phone?”
“That’s not what I mean. I just don’t want a bunch of monsters or demons coming over so I have to get dressed.”
“There are robes in the bedroom.”
“Really? I love robes.”
She disappears down the hall. The phone stops ringing.
She comes out in a maroon terrycloth bathrobe as thick as the Lawrence, Kansas, white pages.
“Is ‘robegasm’ a word?” she asks. “Because if it is, I just had one.”
My phone pings. There’s a text from Kasabian. Someone broke into Max Overdrive.
I pick up the hotel phone and call the front desk.
“I need a car right now.”
“Of course, Mr. Macheath.”
I put down the phone and start pulling on my clothes.
“If you want to come along, you need to get dressed.”
“I am dressed.”
“No, you’re not,” I say, and hand her the folder pistol.
“What’s this?”
“Push the button on top of the grip.”
The folder snaps open from the bottom, like bomb-bay doors opening on the jet. Candy puts the rifle stock to her shoulder, sights around the room, and pulls the pistol’s trigger making
“That’s exactly why I didn’t load it.”
“No fair.”
“Them’s the rules.”
“Killjoy.”
“You can always give it back if you don’t like it.”
“Are you kidding? This is my new bedtime teddy bear. You and Rinko can move over. I’m snuggling with this cuddly puppy every night.”
I don’t bother pointing out that she hasn’t spent more than a few hours at a time with me, much less an entire night.
We
