She loops her arm in mine and we walk through the endless garbage dump.
“This isn’t the afterlife. This isn’t anywhere. You can leave anytime you like.”
“Is that how it works? How kind of you to explain.”
“If I’m inconveniencing you, I can go.”
She tightens her arm around mine.
“Please, James. Play nice. You don’t know what it’s like here. We all died once and now we have to do it again because of that little bitch. It looks like it hurts even more the second time around.”
“I’m not killing the Imp until I talk to her, so don’t get your pigtails knotted up if I don’t go in like Bruce Lee.”
We turn out of the plaza and head downtown.
“She’s a monster. She kills us. Hurt her for me, James.”
“You know that back in the world I’m lying in a pool of my own blood. I’d really like to get things rolling before I muss my hair.”
“Cool your jets, jet boy. We’re almost there.”
A mob is following us. I must be the most interesting thing that’s happened here since the girl. How sad for these dopes. How terrified do you have to be to put up with this dismal trailer- park universe? If I had time, I’d make every one of these assholes a deal. Let go. Come to Hell. You can camp out in Eleusis, the town God built for righteous pre-Jesus pagans. It’s still the nicest place down south. Crap parking but no torture and other reasonable souls to pal around with. I’d do it just to clear out this shit sink. But none of them would do it. They’re too chewed up by the demons in their own brains. I want to blame God for these losers. For not making Himself known and available to humans, but I wonder if it would make a difference to this crowd. There’s something willful about this kind of self-punishment. Without realizing it, they’ve made their own second-rate sitcom Hell.
Cherry says, “I hear you killed Mason.”
“Nope. He killed himself.”
“But you helped.”
“Russian roulette is a hell of a game. Second place sucks as much as, well, there isn’t anything worse than second.”
“You cheated, didn’t you?”
“I’m not stupid enough to play Russian roulette with Mason for real.”
Up ahead, it looks like a small nuke went off. A deep crater is spread over four square blocks. Buildings and the remains of cars and street signs lie in heaps on the edge of the blast zone.
“What’s Hell like?”
“It’s not as bad as this. Normal people would rather be inconvenienced by Hellions than be this bored for the next billion years.”
“They don’t have any imagination. We make our own fun. Did you ever lie on your back, look up at the sky, and make garbage angels? It’s very cathartic.”
“You tunnel in the dirt and play in garbage. You’ve come a long way since the Lollipop Dolls.”
“I miss the old gang. I wonder how they are.”
“I’m dating someone with an anime and manga fetish. I’ll ask her.”
