The Little Black Book of Violence

The presence of a weapon changes everything. There is no reasoning with someone who is fully prepared to become drenched in your blood and viscera, to smell your bowels as they release, and to hear your cries for help as they fade to whimpers of pain and finally to the rattling gurgle of your last breath.

Following the completion of the physical aptitude test battery, Coach Garner stated firmly, “The vertical jump is the one single best test of athletic ability.” He looked at his clipboard, “Wilder, you better wrestle. Don’t even think about basketball.” That direct, blunt, and very honest comment set Wilder on the path of wresting, judo, and football, and has held his martial arts training in good stead. He simply doesn’t have the right body type to excel at certain other sports like basketball.

In some ways, the mental game is even tougher than the physical. There is a saying that goes “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” There are moments in all these sports where you want to say, “Get me off the mat.” You can choose to win or lose at that point, whatever it takes to get it over with. Then the limitation turns to mental.

Have you ever been hit so hard that you lost control of your body? Have you ever had to run away from something as fast as you could for as long as you could? Such things transcend the mere physical to become significant mental challenges. Surviving a fight is often more of a mental issue than a physical one.

Look at members of the military, especially specialists in their field. These guys are well-conditioned athletes yet they are not bodybuilders. They may not be exceptionally big or strong yet they simply do not quit. Quitting isn’t even in their vocabulary. It turns into a mental attitude of “I will never quit.” As an example of this attitude, here are some United States military groups and their mottos:

• The 2nd Battalion 7th Marines: Ready For All, Yielding To None

• The 1st Marine Division, USMC: Mors De Contactus (Death on Contact)

• The 1st Recon Battalion: Celer — Silens — Mortali (Swift-Silent-Deadly)

Wilder sat across from a former Army Supply Officer Joe one day. Joe told him how he had deep respect for the specialists in the military. Wilder asked, “They must be physical monsters, super soldiers, and weightlifters. Real tough, right?” “No,” Joe said. “They are not defined by that. They are defined by the fact that they don’t quit… ever. They never quit.” He went on to talk about a friend of his that really wanted to be in this special elite military group, but during the training session he fractured his leg, not badly, but enough to have him wash out. He was going to have to wait until next year to attempt to qualify again, or so the manual read. Joe’s friend was stopped trying to leave the medical center with his fractured leg. His intent was to rejoin the training session; he was not going to quit.

If you’d like to get a deeper appreciation of what elite force training is truly like, we suggest you pick up a copy of Lone Survivor: The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10 by Marcus Lutrell (and Patrick Robinson). While much of the book focuses on a failed attempt to capture or kill a notorious al Qaeda leader in 2005, it also delves into the rigorous training that helped Lutrell forge the mental and physical fortitude necessary to survive being blasted unconscious by a rocket-propelled grenade, blown over a cliff, and left for dead. He had to fight off a group of Taliban assassins who were sent to finish him and then crawl seven miles through sheer mountains with a broken back before he was taken in by Pashtun tribesmen who risked their lives to protect him from the encircling killers. It’s a true story and a thrilling read that gives you great appreciation for the kind of mental conditioning elite forces develop and what that makes them capable of enduring.

Many people are aware of their physical limitation, at least to some degree, yet few are truly aware of what they are mentally capable of until put to the test in a life-threatening struggle. We hope you will not have to take that test, yet a “never quit” attitude can pull you through nearly anything you are physically capable of handling.

For example, during a routine hike in 2003, Aaron Ralston suddenly found himself in dire straights when an 800-pound boulder shifted unexpectedly and pinned his wrist to a canyon wall in a remote area of Canyonlands National Park in Utah. After six days of captivity, he realized that desperate measures were needed for survival. Using a cheap, dull pocketknife, he managed to amputate his own arm, rappel one-handed down a hill, and then hike six miles through the wilderness before someone found and rescued him. This extraordinary tale of survival shows what a sufficiently motivated person is capable of doing.

Manufactured limitations are important too. It is good to know what you are wearing on your feet for example. Cowboy boots are not the same as a pair of running shoes when it comes to footing; poor traction limits you in a fight. Tight fitting jeans restrict your range of movement in ways that cargo pants do not. A heavy meal recently consumed can adversely affect your performance as can a steady diet of hamburgers, fries, and other unhealthy foods.

Knowing your physical limitations helps you find creative ways achieving your goals. Knowing your physical strengths gives you ways to resolve situations. Seek out your limits, and know them. Ask your closest friends to speak to you about your weaknesses and limitations, your boss, you family, just as Wilder’s high school coach did for him, and then audit yourself. Find the one thing you’d like to improve and work on it; drill it just as you would drill it in the weight room. Once you have progressed sufficiently, set it aside and work on another. Improvement is a continuous process.

Limitations can be mental or physical, inherent or manufactured. Knowing your limitations helps you find creative means for achieving your goals. Surviving a fight is often more of a mental issue than a physical one. Seek out your limits and know them.

You May Think, “My Enemy’s Enemy is My Friend,” But It’s Not True

To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands.

- Sun Tzu

When it is difficult to cut an enemy down either one hand, you must use both hands.

- Miyamoto Musashi

The idea that someone else is going to join you in a fight out of the goodness of his heart or because he simply doesn’t like the other guy too is about as dumb an idea as they come. Even in a clear-cut case of self- defense, an honest-to-God crisis that can affect everyone around you, you simply cannot count on others to get involved. People tend to act in their own self-interest. Why help you if they might get hurt, jailed, or killed too? Some people will, yet most won’t.

For example, there was a fairly dramatic incident on US Airways flight 78 from Phoenix to Seattle during the final approach in June 2007. An unruly passenger fought with flight attendants and tried to open an over-wing escape hatch, something that would have depressurized and crashed the plane had he been successful. At first, no one came forward to intervene. Then, despite pleas from his girlfriend not to, off-duty Benton County Sheriff’s Deputy Doug Stanley decided he needed to step into the situation. After trying unsuccessfully to calm the man down, Stanley then physically subdued and restrained him until the aircraft landed safely. By way of thanks, the airline awarded him two free tickets to anywhere he wanted to travel and a model airplane featuring an inscription that reads, “Our Hero.”

Let’s say for a moment that you get into a confrontation with some other guy at your favorite drinking hole, a far less significant incident than the one on the airplane. If a fight ensues, are you really going to trust someone else that you have never met before, some guy whose name you don’t even know to guard your back? You can’t and you shouldn’t.

Plan on being on your own if things get physical. If you’re not positive that you can handle the situation