Most people who find themselves involved in violence think that they were just minding their own business and when they look up, suddenly this problem comes out of nowhere. It just seems like this at the time, though. There is virtually always some type of build up, something they didn’t see or didn’t recognize the significance of until it became a problem. That’s why it appears to have come out of nowhere. Oftentimes what you think is an innocent comment, gesture, or look is what gets you clobbered.
Self-defense is about keeping your cool, not being the instigator, even inadvertently. It’s about paying attention, being aware of and evading threats before it’s too late. Less ideally, if the violence is right in front of you, it’s about doing all you can to avoid a fight. After all, the only fight you know you’ll win, the one you are guaranteed to walk away from with all your parts and pieces fully intact, is the fight you never get into. This is what Sun Tzu meant when he wrote, “To subdue an enemy without fighting is the highest skill,” more than 2,500 years ago.
This section covers everything you need to know and do to avoid getting into an actual fight. In addition to helping you identify potential threats and how to evade them, it also helps you develop the emotional fortitude you need in order to walk away from a confrontation when the other guy gets in your face and you really, really want to thump him.
Awareness is Your Best Defense
To see the sun and moon is no sign of sharp sight; to hear the noise of thunder is no sign of a quick ear.
If you know the Way broadly you will see it in everything. Men must polish their particular Way.
Again, the best self-defense is being aware of and avoiding dangerous people and hazardous situations. When that is not possible, when you’ve failed to identify and act upon signs of impending threat, self-defense can still be about verbally de-escalating a tense encounter before it turns violent. Fighting is your last resort to keep yourself safe after you’ve blown your self-defense, when awareness, avoidance, and de-escalation have all failed.
Since it is fundamental to personal safety, we’ll begin by discussing awareness. Situational awareness means a solid understanding of time and place and how they relate to you, your family, friends, and others around you at any given moment. In some ways, it’s more of an attitude than a skill. Any time you are near others, especially strangers, it pays to be vigilant, striking a good balance between obliviousness and paranoia. If you can sense danger before stumbling across it, you have a much better chance of escaping unscathed.
Whenever someone throws a punch, launches a kick, pulls out a knife, or draws a gun something bad is going to happen. The question is not one of ‘if’ but rather of “how much.”
Whenever someone throws a punch, launches a kick, pulls out a knife, or draws a gun—something bad is going to happen. That’s “bad” in a
Most self-defense experts agree that nine out of ten dangers can be identified and avoided simply by learning how to look out for them. Since it is still possible to talk your way out of more than half of the potentially violent situations that you do get yourself into, this means that you should only need to fight your way out of three, four, or at worst, five of every hundred hazardous encounters. With good situational awareness, you may never have anywhere near a hundred such confrontations in your lifetime so those odds really aren’t all that bad, huh?
Knowing when it is time to leave a party is a common example of good situational awareness. Fights at parties tend to happen after a certain time of night. It’s not the hour on the clock that’s important, but rather the mood of the crowd. Most people have a good time and leave long before the sh*t starts. Just about everyone who’s going to hook up has already done so; they’ve found a date, left together, and are off having fun. As the crowd starts to thin, those who have nothing better to do than cause trouble are the ones who are left. Buzzing with frustration and raging hormones, those who insist on hanging on well into the night are the ones who get caught up in it when the fecal matter is most likely to fly. If you pay attention to the behaviors of those around you, however, it’s fairly easy to know when it’s time to leave. If you’re not there when things start to get rough, bad things can’t happen to you.
Good situational awareness helps make you a hard target by eliminating easy opportunities for those who wish to do you harm. Constant vigilance is emotionally and physically draining, however, so you need a process for knowing when to ratchet your level of alertness up or down.
The same thing happens on the street. Criminals may be strong, fast, crafty, and mean, but in general, they are neither exceptionally bright nor hardworking. We are stereotyping here, but seriously, how many rocket scientists or Mensa members are there on death row? Further, many crimes are quick fix substitutes for earning a living the old fashioned way via hard work. Why then would a street thug go out of his way to tangle with a tough, prepared target when easier prey is readily available?
By constantly surveying and evaluating your environment, you achieve more control over what ultimately happens to you. Good situational awareness helps you make yourself a hard target by eliminating easy opportunities for those who wish to do you harm. It’s not a guarantee of perfect safety since there truly are no absolutes when it comes to self-defense, yet good situational awareness can let you predict and avoid most difficult situations.
Remember a time when you were driving along minding your own business when you suddenly “knew” the car beside you was going to swerve into your lane and took evasive action to avoid an accident? This ability to predict what other drivers are going to do is an excellent example of good situational awareness.
Situational awareness is something that everyone instinctively has, yet few individuals truly pay attention to. In most cases, you should be able to spot a developing situation, turn around, and walk (or drive) away before anything bad happens. Once you understand the basic concepts and begin to pay attention to your built-in survival mechanisms, situational awareness can also be refined and improved through practice. Sometimes, however, try as you might to avoid it, trouble finds you and you will have to react accordingly. Good awareness helps you be prepared for that as well.
Can you remember a time when you were driving along the highway, suddenly “knew” the car beside you was going to swerve into your lane, and took evasive action to avoid an accident? Almost everyone who drives has done that on numerous occasions. It is so common that most people forget about such incidents shortly after they happen. This ability to predict what other drivers are going to do is an excellent example of good situational awareness.
However, vigilance in this area is emotionally and physically draining. No one can maintain an elevated level of awareness at all times in all places. There is a difference between being aware and becoming paranoid. Consequently, many self-defense experts use a color code system to help define and communicate appropriate levels of situational awareness for whatever situation people could find themselves in.
The most commonly used approach, codified by Colonel Jeff Cooper, was based in large part on the color alert system developed by the United States Marine Corps during World War II and later modified for civilian use. These color code conditions include White (oblivious), Yellow (aware), Orange (alert), Red (concerned), and Black
