She was all blue—we were sitting under a blue lamp—and perhaps

that was what made me so bold. I had long been wanting to kiss her,

from the moment she had come in frozen and flushed and laid her cheek

against the stove. But it had been impossible then. Now, when she was

all blue, it was possible. I stopped in the middle of a sentence, closed my

eyes and kissed her on the cheek.

Did she flare up!

'What does this mean?' she demanded.

I was silent. My heart was thumping and I was afraid that she was

going to say 'I don't want to know you any more' or something like that.

'How disgusting!' she said with indignation.

'No, it isn't,' I said, dismayed.

For a minute we said nothing, then Katya asked me to bring her some

water. When I returned with the water she read me a whole lecture. She

proved as plain as a pikestaff that I had no feelings for her, that 'I only

imagined it', and that if it had been another girl in her place at the

moment I would have kissed her too.

'You're just trying to persuade yourself,' she said with conviction,

'but actually it's nothing of the sort!'

She was ready to admit that I had not intended to insult her-I hadn't,

had I? Still I should not have acted that way precisely because I was only

deceiving myself, and there was no real feeling...

'No love,' she added, and I felt, in that semi-darkness, that she

blushed.

By way of reply I took her hand and passed it over my face and eyes.

She did not withdraw it, and for several minutes we sat silent on my

desk in the dimly lit classroom. We sat in the classroom where I asked

questions and floundered, where I stood at the blackboard and proved

theorems-on my desk, in which lay Valya's crumpled cribs. It was so

strange. But so good! I can't tell you how good I felt at that moment!

Then I fancied there was somebody in the corner breathing hard. I

looked round and saw Romashka. I don't know what made him breathe

so hard, but he had a very ugly look on his face. Naturally, he saw at

98

once that we had spotted him. He muttered something and came up

with a queasy smile.

'Why don't you introduce me, Grigoriev?'

I stood up. I must have looked anything but affable, because he

blinked in a scared sort of way and went out. It was rather funny, the

way he took sudden fright. We both started giggling, and Katya said that

he not only resembled Uriah Heep, but he was like an owl, a ginger owl

with a hook-nose and round eyes. She had guessed right— Romashka

was sometimes teased at school by being called Owl. We went back into

the hall.

The dancing was over and the concert part of the programme had

started with scenes from The Government Inspector, which our theatre

was rehearsing.

Katya and I sat together in the third row, but we heard nothing. At

least, I didn't. And I don't think she did either. I whispered to her:

'We'll have another talk. Yes?'

She looked at me gravely and nodded.

CHAPTER NINE

MY FIRST DATE. INSOMNIA

It wasn't the first time it happened with me that life, after moving in

one direction—in a straight line, let's say—suddenly made a sharp turn,

executing 'Immelmanns' and 'Barrels'. (Figures in aerobatics).

This happened when, a boy of eight, I had lost my penknife near the

murdered watchman on the pontoon bridge. This happened at the

Education Department's reception centre, when, out of sheer boredom,

I had begun to model figure-work. This happened when I found myself a

reluctant witness to the conspiracy against Korablev and was

ignominiously ejected from the Tatarinov home. And this is what

happened now, when I was expelled again-this time for good!

The new turn in my life started this way. Katya and I had arranged to

meet in Oruzheiny Street, outside the tinsmith's shop, but she did not

turn up.

Everything seemed to have gone wrong that sad day. I ran away from

the sixth lesson-it was silly, because Likho had said he would give back

our homework after the lesson. I wanted to think over our conversation.

But how could I think when, after a few minutes, I was frozen stiff and

all I could do was stamp my feet and rub my nose and ears like mad.

Yet it was all devilishly interesting! What an extraordinary change had

come about since the previous day! Yesterday, for instance, I could say:

'Katya's a stupid head!' But not today. Yesterday I could have ticked her

off for being late, but not today. But most interesting of all was to think

that this was the very same Katya who had once asked me whether I had

read Helen Robinson, who had busted the lactometer and got it in the

neck from me. Could this be her?

'Yes!' I thought joyfully.

But she was not she now, and I was not I.

99

A whole hour had passed, though. It was quiet in that street, and only

the small tinsmith with the big nose came out of his workshop several

times and eyed me suspiciously. I turned my back on him, but this only

seemed to deepen his suspicions. I crossed to the other side of the road,

but he still stood in the doorway amid clouds of vapour, like God on the

ceiling of the cathedral at Ensk. I was obliged to move away, down

towards the Tverskaya.

They had had dinner by the time I got back to the school. I went into

the kitchen to warm myself and got told off by the cook, who gave me a

plate of lukewarm potatoes. I ate the potatoes and went off in search of

Valya. But Valya was at the Zoo. Likho had given my homework to

Romashka.

Being upset, I did not notice the state of excitement Romashka was

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