Jail Bird

‘You bullshitting me?’ she asked him bluntly.

Again that glint of humour. ‘I wouldn’t dare, Mrs King. You blew your husband’s head off. You’ve just got out of stir. You’ve got a face on you like the wrath of God. Do you think I’d want to upset you?’

Lily looked at him. Their eyes locked. He didn’t look the type of man to be fearful of anything, much less a shabby-looking blonde. She’d always thought she was a good judge of people, but fuck it, look where that had got her. But…she thought she could trust him. Just a bit. Maybe. But she had to keep her guard up, keep any hint of weakness hidden away.

‘Could you find them again?’ she asked. ‘Could you get me their names – which might be different now, I suppose. And maybe their old addresses?’

‘The woman I worked for…she was mentioned in the court case, wasn’t she?’

Lily nodded. ‘Adrienne Thomson’s an old friend of mine, we go way back.’

He let out his breath. ‘You want to choose your friends a bit more carefully, Mrs King.’

Don’t I bloody well know it.

‘I’ll need a down payment, get me started. Three hundred ought to do it.’

‘Dream on,’ said Lily. ‘I’m short of readies right now.’ And no way was she going cap in hand to Becks, not now.

‘I’ve got to live, Mrs King,’ he said, his eyes still holding hers. ‘I’ve got exes, just like everyone else. And I’ve got to say, no cash, no deal.’

‘I didn’t say I couldn’t get some,’ said Lily. ‘Soon, anyway.’

‘Soon? Like, when?’

‘Like a few days’ time.’ And she wasn’t looking forward to that event, not at all.

‘Are you bullshitting me, Mrs King?’

‘I never bullshit, Mr Rackland. Never.’ Her eyes were steady on his. ‘Do you believe me?’

He was silent, his eyes searching her face. ‘You know what?’ he said finally. ‘Funnily enough, I do. Which might make me a fucking fool or a sucker for a pretty face, but there you go.’

‘Are you married, Mr Rackland?’

‘Jack. Call me Jack. We’re separated, me and Monica.’

‘Who cheated? You, or her?’

He paused for a beat, looked down, away. ‘Her,’ he said. ‘Said I was working too much, didn’t pay her enough attention.’

‘Hurts like fuck, don’t it?’ Lily smiled grimly. ‘But not as much as being banged up for something you didn’t do. Not as much as losing your husband, and your home, and your kids, and doing twelve long damned years for something someone else did.’

‘Are you really saying you didn’t do it?’

‘Got it in one.’

He let out a low whistle. ‘If that’s true…if that happened to me…’ He shook his big head, leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees.

‘Yeah, what?’

His head came round and his eyes met hers. ‘I’d want to kill some bastard. And I’d make it nice and slow.’

‘Jack,’ said Lily, ‘I do believe we’re reading from the same page.’

He nodded and stood up. ‘You’ll get me those contact details? Then I’ll get on it. I can wait a week for the money, no longer. Then I’m dropping this like a hot potato, that’s a promise.’

‘I think that’s fair,’ said Lily. She stood up too. They shook hands. ‘I’ll be in touch.’

He turned and walked away, back across the park.

Lily paused there, looking at the happy scene in the paddling pool. Happy kids. Her kids would be dancing at Saz’s reception now, Saz and her groom – Christ, she didn’t even know his name! – would be cutting the cake; there would be speeches, toasts, love and laughter. And here she was, standing alone, watching other people’s families having fun, not sure whether or not to go back to Becks’s place at all. She wasn’t welcome there. Fuck, she wasn’t welcome anywhere.

She thought of her parents. Dad was gone, but Mum was still standing, so far as Lily knew. She’d live to torment, that one. She could call on her – if she really wanted to endure another hour or so of prune-faced bollocking, which was all she ever got from her mother; all she had ever got, come to that. Mum had visited her, just once, after she’d gone down for Leo’s killing. Just once, shortly after she’d first been put inside.

She’d been new to prison life, terrified, depressed. And Mum had come in and said – God, would she ever forget those words? – ‘This is where I always thought you’d end up, Lily. You’re a bad ’un. They always say the quiet ones are the worst, and by God you’ve proved them right.’

Did she really want more of that? Answer: no.

She walked off across the park, going back toward Becks’s place. She’d pack up her stuff and bugger off, that was all she could do now. Find a little B & B or something. Sleep in a doorway if she had to. Anything was better than staying at Becks’s when Becks had made it plain she was surplus to requirements.

She crossed the road and started walking back along the rows of houses toward Becks’s place when a long black car pulled in to the kerb. A man jumped out of the back, grabbed her arm, and yanked her off-balance.

‘Hey!’ she yelled, but her feet went from under her and she was half carried, half pulled into the car. She found herself lying across the back seat with a man on either side of her. Fear shot through her like a hot knife through butter.

Oh shit, she thought, Freddy King.

‘What the…?’ she gasped out.

One of the men, a huge bruiser, lifted a thick finger and pointed it at her. She remembered Freddy, outside the prison, pointing his finger at her like a gun. Yeah, this was Freddy’s work all right. ‘Shut up,’ he said.

Lily shut up. The car zoomed off. She was trapped. She was finished, even before she had properly begun.

13

There were four of them in the car, and she thought they were just going to drive her somewhere, hurt her, then finish her off. She could hear her heart beating like a trapped animal’s, she was so scared. Her bowels felt liquid, her stomach was churning into knots. Oh God. She didn’t know how she was going to get through this.

How you get through everything, she thought. Alone.

Her eyes filled with tears; it was weak but she couldn’t help it. She really was alone. Completely alone. Her friend had abandoned her. Her daughters, her lovely girls, had rejected her. She would never, ever forget the expressions on their faces when they’d seen her at the church. Hatred. Fear. Loathing. It was more than any mother could take.

And now, this. The end of it all. She was terrified, but she was also sort of relieved. It would be over. All the suffering. All that time she’d done, and all for nothing. All for someone else’s crime. Now she was tired, and so alone. She didn’t mind dying; but she hoped they didn’t hurt her too much first.

She thought they would. She saw it again, Freddy King outside Askham, aiming his finger at her, mouthing the words: You won’t see it coming.

And guess what? She hadn’t. He’d got that right.

The light was going as the car crunched onto gravel and skidded to a halt. Sudden silence descended. Into Lily’s mind came Saz’s face, filled with hate and horror. She screwed her eyes tight shut, held back the tears. She’d wanted so much to make things right, and now she wouldn’t get the chance. That stung her, hurt her bad. Her lovely girls. Lost to her forever.

They flung open the car doors and she was manhandled out onto the drive of a big house. She noticed nothing else about it, only that it was big. She was nearly shitting herself with fear now. Why had they brought her to a house? Why hadn’t they just driven her off into the forest, topped her there?