Jail Bird

‘It shook you up, that happening to Jack Rackland.’

Yeah, and it was all my fault, thought Lily. Nick was right. She was stupid.

‘I’m just going to phone the hospital,’ she said.

‘Is that wise?’

Lily felt an edge of annoyance. ‘No. Probably not. But I can’t just let the poor bastard lie there and die.’

‘He might not be dead, yet.’

‘It looked pretty bad.’

‘Leave it to his family. Keep your head down. He’s in good hands.’

‘He don’t have a family. Well…only an ex-wife.’ Mouthy little Monica, whom Lily thought Jack was still in love with.

‘Even so. Leave it.’

Lily flopped down on the couch, drooping, her spirits low. She’d liked Jack; she’d appreciated his dedication and his humour. To see him like that…broken, bloody…had been horrible; it had left her shaken and sick. But Nick was right, she didn’t dare enquire about him at the hospital. If the police traced the attack back to Winston, it might not be long, despite all Nick’s assurances, before they came knocking at her door.

And then what?

She was terrified of going back inside; she’d rather top herself first. To be caged up again would be beyond awful, now that she’d had a taste of freedom. All right, she’d made no headway at all with Saz; but she was hoping that would change, given time.

I’m sorry, Daddy, I’m so sorry.

Sorry for what?

That refrain from Saz’s sleepwalking kept echoing through her brain.

Now she had to confront it. She had to face the possibility that it had been Saz, her own daughter, who had done that to Leo. And if it was Saz, where did that leave her? Where did it leave any of them?

Up shit creek, she thought miserably. Without a paddle and without a shred of hope that life would ever be normal again.

Lily wrenched her wandering mind away from the massive problem that was Saz, and instead she thought of Oli. Her little Oli had grown into a sweet and funny young woman; she loved spending time with her. And there would be Oli’s baby soon to spoil. If she had to go down again, she would miss yet more years with her precious girls. She couldn’t – wouldn’t – endure that.

And there was Nick, too.

Nick, who had been her first love. Nick, the man she should have married. She was – to her own shock – still head over heels in love with him; she could admit it to herself if to no one else. Just hearing his deep, gravelly voice on the phone gave her the shivers. If she got banged up again, where would that leave her and Nick?

Yet she had come within an inch of risking jail. Had pulled out the Magnum, and if Winston had kept coming she knew she would have used it. Blown him away – and blown away her own chances of freedom, too.

‘You still there?’ Nick was asking.

‘Yeah.’

‘You sure you’re okay? I could come over.’

‘No, I’m all right. I’m not good company right now. Think I’ll just get an early night.’

She could hear the Kaiser Chiefs being played loudly upstairs. Oli was in her room. Oli, who was pregnant with Lily’s first grandchild. That was something to be celebrated, even though the circumstances were far from ideal. But Lily didn’t feel in the mood for that, either. She felt a gnawing anxiety about Jack. Wanted to know he was okay. Or dead. Or something. She just wanted to know, either way.

‘You get some sleep. Okay?’ said Nick.

‘Okay.’

And he was gone. And it was then that Lily heard voices, a man’s and a woman’s, arguing in whispers in the hall.

62

Lily stood up and went to the half-open door of the sitting room, both curious and concerned. No one should be in here…unless Oli had invited some friends round? But Oli would have told her; she knew Lily didn’t like strangers wandering around the house.

Lily paused, just a step or two from the door into the hall. She knew the woman’s voice, the woman was Saz. Lily frowned. Saz had left, yet here she was, back inside the house. And…that wasn’t Richard’s voice. This voice was harder, harsher. Lily stopped in her tracks, and a buzz of fear went skittering up the back of her neck. She tiptoed to one side of the door, flattened herself to the wall behind it. She heard Saz hiss: ‘Look, I don’t know about this.’

‘You what?’ asked the man with her. His voice had risen. He toned it down. ‘You what? ’ he whispered.

Lily looked through the gap beside the hinges on the door and saw Jase standing there with Saz.

What the hell…? she thought.

‘I don’t think we should go ahead with this. I’m sorry. But I don’t think Oli’s going to be very pleased about it. She don’t much like surprises. I really think—’

‘You think?’ Jase laughed at that. The sound echoed out there, bounced off the marble. Lily could see them across the hall, standing near the front door. Jase’s body language was confrontational; Saz’s was apologetic, head bent, her expression uncertain.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Saz, and gave an unhappy shrug.

‘It’s too late for changes of plan now,’ hissed Jase.

Saz’s head whipped up and she stared at him. Lily watched, wondering what the hell was going on. How had they got inside the house? And surprise Oli with what, exactly?

She was getting a bad, bad feeling about this.

‘Look, I’ve decided…’ whispered Saz.

‘No, you look,’ shot back Jase, his voice rising now, looming over Saz, stabbing at her with a finger to emphasize his point. ‘You just fuck off now, take yourself off somewhere, okay? If you know what’s good for you, because I got something I gotta do here, and I’m going to do it right now.’

‘Oli won’t be impressed by this,’ said Saz, shrinking back a little.

‘Oli?’ Now he laughed, and it was an ugly, threatening sound. ‘Fuck Oli, the dozy mare. It’s your ma I’ve come to see. Time her and me had a little chat.’

And Lily saw Jase pull out a cosh, wield it in his right hand.

Shit a brick, she thought.

‘So where is she?’ asked Jase. He wasn’t even bothering to talk softly now. He was focused on what he had to do, that was all.

Saz said nothing. She stood there as if paralysed, looking at the cosh in Jase’s meaty hand.

‘Where is she?’ roared Jase.

Saz flinched and cowered back.

Jase advanced on her, smacking the cosh into his palm. ‘Come on, Saz. Tell me where the bitch is.’

‘You lied to me,’ said Saz shakily, backing away.

Saz, thought Lily in terror. Oh God, was he going to hurt Saz?

She wanted to dash out into the hall, throw herself at him, kill him with her bare hands. But her feet were frozen to the floor.

Suddenly Jase swung the cosh. Saz gave a cry and there was a sharp whack as the