Woman in the Fifth

He escorted me to another room — where a technician rolled each of my fingers in ink and then made the necessary imprints. I was pointed to a sink and told I could wash my hands there. As I finished, Leclerc said, ‘You will need to wait outside while I get your statement to Inspector Coutard. If he needs to interview you further, you’ll be summoned to his office.’

‘How long might that be?’

‘It is a busy afternoon …’

He stood up and escorted me to the bench where the two men still sat shackled to its steel frame.

‘You can wait here,’ Leclerc said.

‘You mean, you’re not going to shackle me down?’ I asked.

A sour smile from Leclerc.

‘Not unless you insist.’

The two men on the bench eyed me up and down. When I met the gaze of one of them — and saw a druggy aggression in his dilated pupils — he hissed, ‘What are you staring at, asshole?’

‘Nothing,’ I hissed back.

‘You trying to start something?’

I just shook my head. But when he jumped up to confront me, the chain on his hand stopped his trajectory and caused him to yelp in pain.

‘I’ll get you later,’ he said.

‘Don’t count on it.’

I sat at the far end of the bench and pulled out a new book I was plowing through — a collection of Jacques Prevert’s Paroles. Though I greatly admired his wordplay and imagery, I wished I had brought something more narrativedriven to read. I tried to ignore the clown at the end of the bench. Having been, in his mind, ‘provoked’ because I’d looked at him the wrong way, he continued to jeer at me, until one of the uniformed cops came along and told him to shut up. When he back-talked the cop — ‘You think you scare me, flic? ‘ — the officer took his nightstick and slammed it down a few centimeters away from where he was sitting. The guy jumped in fright.

‘Keep shooting off your mouth, the next time it will land between your legs.’

I pulled the volume of Prevert higher up around my face.

Either Coutard was truly busy or he was deliberately ignoring me, as half an hour passed without a word from him. I stopped a uniformed officer and asked him if he could find out whether or not Coutard wanted to see me. Twenty more minutes passed, during which time the thought struck me: This is the law-enforcement version of ‘passive aggressive’. I stopped another officer.

‘Might you please find out if Inspector Coutard—’

‘He will call you when he’s ready.’

‘But I have been waiting nearly an hour—’

‘So? An hour is nothing. Sit down and he’ll call you when—’

‘Sir, please—’

‘Sit!’ This wasn’t a request; rather, an order. I did as told. The thug — still chained to the bench — glowered at me.

‘They’ve got you by the balls, asshole.’

‘And you’re the guy chained to the bench.’

‘Fuck you.’

The uniformed cop — halfway out of the room — spun around and pointed his baton at me. ‘You — no talking.’

‘This guy started it—’

‘I said, no talking.’

I nodded, looking meek. The psycho laughed. I tried to sink back into Prevert’s verses. Psycho Boy continued cackling to himself and occasionally whispering to the other shackled guy. Fifteen minutes passed, then twenty, then …

This is crazy. Just get up and leave — and let them try to stop you.

But as I was seriously considering this stupid idea, Coutard stuck his head around the door.

‘Monsieur Ricks …’

He motioned for me to follow him. As we left the holding area and headed down a corridor, he said, ‘I am sorry they kept you waiting with the local trash.’

I said nothing — pretty damn certain that I was placed next to Psycho Boy to unnerve me … which, truth be told, he succeeded in doing.

‘Just in here,’ he said, steering me into a more substantial office than the one occupied by Leclerc. There were two functional armchairs facing a large desk, several framed citations, the ubiquitous photograph of Chirac, and a brimming ashtray next to his computer terminal. He lit up a fresh cigarette and picked up a pair of bifocal glasses and placed them on his nose.

‘So, Monsieur Ricks … I have read your statement. Interesting.’

‘Interesting?’ I asked cautiously.

‘Yes, interesting. In fact … very interesting.’

‘In what way?’

‘In your statement, you repeat what you told me in your chambre yesterday — that you only had minimal contact with Monsieur Omar. And yet, the gentleman who rented you the room, Monsieur Sezer, made a statement to us, where he stated that you had an ongoing war with Monsieur Omar over his sanitary habits … specifically, the condition of the toilet you both shared.’

‘That’s true, but—’

‘The fact that Monsieur Omar was found dead with a toilet brush in his mouth—’

‘Now hang on a minute—’

‘You have an unfortunate habit of interrupting me, Monsieur Ricks.’

‘Sorry,’ I mumbled.

‘I repeat: according to Monsieur Sezer, you repeatedly complained to him about Monsieur Omar’s lack of hygiene. Couple this with the fact that a toilet brush was found lodged in Monsieur Omar’s mouth, and this leads one to presume that the murderer was making some sort of symbolic point about the gentleman’s disregard for communal clealiness. So …’

I raised my hand. Coutard peered down at me over his bifocals.

‘You have a question?’ he asked.

‘More of a statement.’

‘You have already made a statement.’

‘But I want to add to that statement.’

‘You have signed that statement.’

‘All I want to say is—’

‘You wish to amend your statement.’

‘I didn’t kill Omar.’

A shrug from the inspector.

‘You expect me to accept that as truth?’

‘Consider this: I called you to report the crime.’

‘In sixty-five percent of the murders I have investigated the actual killer reported the crime.’

‘I am part of the thirty-five percent.’

‘Sticking a toilet brush down your victim’s throat while cutting his jugular … It is most original.’

‘I didn’t—’

‘You say you didn’t, but you had a motive: rage at his disgusting habits. Let me guess: he never flushed the toilet after taking a shit, and then mocked you when you tried to get him to amend his vile ways. Americans, I know, have a thing about cleanliness … and smoking.’

He exhaled a small cloud as he said that.

‘I have nothing against cigarettes.’

‘I applaud you for such open-mindedness. You also have no objections to living in cramped conditions. In fact,