My gut tightened. 'I'll bet you were right on her about her mistakes, right?'
'When she screwed up I let her know. She had to know!'
My hand slapped the desk and I spoke through clenched teeth. 'Damn right, let her know. Put her through what you went through! No sympathy, no empathy, no quarter. Whip the little bitch. Show her how bad Clair Peltier had it. Shovel it into her face.'
The words scalded my tongue; I didn't know where they came from. Clair jumped to her feet. 'You've got no goddamn right to talk to me like
'
'She thinks you hate her, you've always hated her and wish she'd never come here.'
'Don't you dare think you can…' My words registered and confusion clouded the fire in Clair's eyes. 'What? Say that again, Ryder.'
'Ava thinks you hate her and want her gone. Is it true?'
'Hate her?' Clair looked unsteady, as if the floor had softened beneath her. She lowered herself, reaching for the arms of the chair with unsure fingers. 'My God, no, I I think she's exceptional, I think …'
'You don't dislike her?'
'My God, no. I never meant for her to think…' She turned her head away and blinked several times. 'Maybe I '
'It's time for some empathy now, Clair. Maybe even overdue.'
Clair closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them she reached for the pen and tapped it on the reprimand. Fourteen times.
She slipped the pen in her pocket.
'She gets this week and the weekend, Ryder. I'll put her down for emergency family leave. Next Monday I want her back here clean and sober. One transgression, no matter how minor, and she'll be gone while her footprints are still warm on the floor.'
I was halfway to the door and letting my breath out when Clair spoke.
'Ryder?'
'Yes?'
'Why did she come to you? Are you two romantically involved?'
'No. I guess she's a friend.'
I was closing the door when she spoke again.
'Carson?'
I leaned my head in. 'Yes, Clair?'
'I know you're carrying double baskets of shit with the headless cases, but give her all the help you can spare. Please.'
I nodded and closed the door. I'd never heard Clair say please, and I'd never seen her look so beautiful.
CHAPTER 16
'I'm making a few changes in the assignments,' Squill said, dealing papers around the table like cards. I slapped down the one that flew at me. 'Don't read ahead, Ryder,' Squill said. 'I'll walk you through it.'
Today's meeting held the usual crowd. Plus Blasingame had brought one of his sergeants, Wally Daller. Burlew was doing push offs from the wall and further straining the seams of his rumpled brown suit jacket.
I smelled a gray sweat coming from him, like opening an old gym locker.
He waited until his master passed out all the papers before sitting.
Squill said, 'One of the reasons this case is going nowhere is diffusion. No focus, and poor communication.'
'Excuse me, Captain,' I said, 'but we have meetings every morning.'
Squill threw his sheaf of papers down. 'Another reason it's in the crapper is I can't get two words out without you contradicting me, Ryder.'
'I'm not contradicting, I'm enlightening.'
'I've had all the smart-mouth I can take.'
Harry nudged me with his leg. 'We're listening, Captain,' he said.
Squill waited until the silence in the room turned uncomfortable before continuing. 'Everyone's running the same ground. We need to become specialists. Each team has to take a portion of the puzzle and dissect it.'
I started to speak, but Harry's knee smacked me quiet. Squill flicked his sheet with a shiny tailored nail. 'I've made new assignments. I want Nautilus and Ryder to concentrate solely on Deschamps. I want to know everyone he talked to in the last six months, every meal he ate, who he fucked in his wet dreams.'
My hands squeezed the table's edge. Stay down. Breathe.
Squill continued. 'As for Nelson, I want his investigation to continue in the same fashion, but with Sergeant Daller at lead.'
Watty Daller?
'Take it easy, Cars,' Harry whispered.
I liked Wally. Everybody liked Wally. He was our comedian, more off-color stories than a Shriners convention. But he had analytical tunnel vision; ask him to investigate a road and he'd give you the total number of white stripes down its middle. I figured Nelson was an intersection of invisible lines: the first chosen, the missing papers, a lifestyle more likely to touch aberrant psychologies. Wally didn't know dysfunctional psyches, he knew, 'There's a priest, a rabbi, and a hooker in a pork dress…'
'Begging the captain's pardon,' I said, 'but Harry and I've established relationships with people close to Nelson. We're unraveling threads that might '
'You've gotten too near these people. We need fresh eyes and new threads.'
'Fresh eyes? You mean start from the begi '
'You're running in circles, it's not working,' Squill snapped.
'In the Adrian case I moved between the victims to establish '
'Get the hell out of this room, Ryder.'
'You said running in circles? What's that mean?'
'Now. Go outside, Ryder. You're done here.'
'There are dead people. I'm not done.' I felt hot sand rising in my throat, my voice rasping.
'Git,' Harry whispered.
Squill said, 'Every time I try to speak you're in my mouth telling me what I'm doing wrong. Insubordination is a big deal in my department, mister. Get the hell out of here while you're still a detective.'
'Insubordination? If you think '
'Git, dammit,' Harry hissed.
The assignment sheet crumpled in my fist like foil as I closed the door behind me. I went back to my desk and waited. Harry reappeared ten minutes later. I was up before he got halfway across the floor.
'Wally! He put Wally Daller in charge of investigating Nelson, Harry.
He wants us off Nelson. Why?'
Harry sat heavily and pressed his knuckles to his temples.
'Come on, Harry, give. We can't let '
'Shut up, Carson. For once. Please just give my aching ears a rest.'
'There's a guy out there chopping off heads, Harry.'
He banged his desk with his fist. Everything on the desk jumped an inch. 'You think I don't know that? You think I don't care? What?
You think you're the only person in the whole department, Carson-fucking-Ryder, give me a high five, Harry, we whipped their asses, Harry?'
I jabbed my finger toward the meeting room. 'You didn't say jackshit in there.'
Harry's jaw twitched. 'Don't you tell me when to move my lips.'
'Why didn't you back me up?'
