peaches and okra—caused Penny to instantly doze off. She now slumbers on a luxurious down comforter in the nursery on the second floor. Nick sleeps in the room next to her. But the two brothers have insomnia. “Who the hell would bother following
“I’m telling you, I saw what I saw,” Brian says, nervously rocking on a bentwood chair on the other side of the fire. He’s got a dry shirt on and a pair of sweatpants, and he feels almost human again. He looks over at his brother, and sees that Philip is staring intensely at the fire as though it holds a secret coded message.
For some reason, the sight of Philip’s gaunt, troubled face, reflecting the flicker of firelight, breaks Brian’s heart. He flashes back to epic childhood journeys into the woods, overnight stays in pup tents and cabins. He remembers having his first beer with his brother, back when Philip was only ten and Brian was thirteen, and he remembers Philip being able to drink him under the table even then.
“It might have been a car,” Brian goes on. “Or maybe a van, I’m not sure. But I swear to God, I saw it back there just for a second … and it sure as hell seemed like it was tailing us.”
“So what if there
Brian thinks about it for a second. “The only thing is … if they were friendly … wouldn’t they, like, catch up with us? Signal to us?”
“Who knows…” Philip stares at the fire, his thoughts elsewhere. “Whoever they are … if they’re out there, chances are, they’re as fucked up as us.”
“That’s true, I guess.” Brian thinks about it some more. “Maybe they’re just … scared. Maybe they’re like … checking us out.”
“Ain’t nobody gonna be able to sneak up on us up here, I’ll tell you that.”
“Yeah … I guess.”
Brian knows exactly what his brother is talking about. The location and position of the villa is ideal. Situated on a rise that overlooks miles of thinning trees, the house has sight lines that would give them plenty of warning. Even on a moonless night, the orchards are so still and quiet that nobody would be able to creep up on them without being heard or seen. And Philip is already talking about setting booby-trap wires around the periphery to alert them to intruders.
On top of that, the place offers them all sorts of benefits that could sustain them for quite a while, maybe even into the winter. There is a well out back, gas in the tractor, a place to hide the Harleys, miles of fruit trees still bearing edible albeit frost-shriveled fruit, and enough wood to keep the stoves and fireplaces going for months. The only problem is their lack of weapons. They scoured the villa and only found a few implements in the barn—a rusty old scythe, a pitchfork—but no firearms.
“You okay?” Brian says after a long stretch of silence.
“Fit as a fucking fiddle.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, Grandma.” Philip stares into the fire. “We’re all gonna be fit as fucking fiddles after a few days in this place.”
“Philip?”
“What is it now?”
“Can I say something?”
“Here it comes.” Philip doesn’t take his eyes off the fire. He wears his wifebeater and a dry pair of jeans. His socks have holes in them, his big toe showing through one of them. The sight of this in the firelight—Philip’s gnarled toenail sticking out—is heartrending for Brian. It makes his brother seem, maybe for the first time ever, almost vulnerable. It is highly unlikely that any of them would be alive right now if it weren’t for Philip. Brian swallows back his emotion.
“I’m your brother, Philip.”
“I’m aware of that, Brian.”
“No, what I’m saying is … I don’t judge you, I never will.”
“What’s your point?”
“My point is … I appreciate what you’ve been doing … risking your ass protecting us. I want you to know this. I appreciate it.”
Philip doesn’t say anything, but the way he’s staring at that fire begins to change a little bit. He starts gazing
“I know you’re a good person,” Brian goes on. “I
“Brian—”
“Wait a minute, just hear me out.” The conversation has crossed a Rubicon, now beyond the point of no return. “If you don’t want to tell me what happened back there with you and April, that’s fine. I’ll never ask you again.” There’s a long pause. “But you can tell me, Philip. You can tell me because I’m your brother.”
Philip turns and looks at Brian. A single tear tracks down Philip’s chiseled, leathery face. It makes Brian’s stomach clench. He can’t remember ever having seen his brother cry, even as a child. One time, their daddy whipped a twelve-year-old Philip unmercifully with a hickory switch, raising so many welts on Philip’s backside that he had to spend nights sleeping on his stomach, but he never cried. Almost out of spite, he refused to cry. But now, as he meets Brian’s gaze in the flickering shadows, Philip’s voice is drained as he says, “I fucked up, sport.”
Brian nods, says nothing, just waits. The fire crackles and sizzles.
Philip looks down. “I think I sorta fell for her.” The tear drips on him. But his voice never breaks, it just remains flat and weak: “Ain’t gonna say it was love but what the fuck is love anyway? Love is a fucking disease.” He cringes at some demon twisting in him. “I fucked up, Brian. Could’ve had something with her. Could’ve had something solid for Penny, something good.” He grimaces as though holding off a tide of sorrow, tears welling up in his eyes until every time he blinks, they run down his face. “I couldn’t stop myself. She said stop but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stop. See … the thing is … it felt so goddamn good.” Tears dripping. “Even when she was pushing me away, it felt good.” Silence. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” More silence. “I know there ain’t no excuse for it.” Pause. “I’m not stupid … I just didn’t think I would ever … I didn’t think I could … I didn’t think…”
His voice crumbles until there’s nothing but the crackle of the fire and the huge dark silence outside the villa. At length, after an interminable period of time, Philip looks up at his brother.
In the dancing light, Brian sees that the tears are spent. Nothing but barren anguish remains on Philip Blake’s face. Brian doesn’t say a word. He simply nods.
The next few days take them into November, and they decide to stay put and see what the weather does.
A freezing sleet sweeps across the orchards one morning. On another day, a killer frost grips the fields and takes down much of the fruit. But for all the signs of winter rolling in, they feel no compulsion to leave just yet. The villa might be their best bet to wait out the harsh days on the horizon. They’ve got enough canned goods and fruit —if they’re careful—to keep them going for months. And enough wood to keep them warm. And the orchards seem relatively free of Biters, at least in the immediate vicinity.
In some ways, Philip seems to be doing better now that the burden of his guilt has been off-loaded. Brian keeps the secret to himself, thinking about it often, but never broaching the subject again. The two brothers are less edgy with each other, and even Penny seems to be settling in nicely to this new routine that they are carving out for themselves.
She finds an antique dollhouse in an upper parlor, and stakes out a little place for herself (and all her broken, misfit toys) at the end of the second-floor hallway. Brian comes up there one day and finds all the dolls lying in neat little rows on the floor, all the severed appendages lying next to their corresponding bodies. He stares for quite a long while at the strange miniature morgue before Penny snaps him out of his daze. “C’mon, Uncle Brian,” she says. “You can be a doctor … help me put them back together.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” he says with a nod. “Let’s put them back together.”
On another occasion, early in the morning, Brian hears a sound coming from the first floor. He goes down into the kitchen and finds Penny standing on a chair, covered in flour and gunk, fiddling with pots and pans, her hair matted with makeshift pancake batter. The kitchen is a disaster area. The others arrive, and the three men just stand there, in the doorway of the kitchen, staring. “Don’t be mad,” Penny says, glancing over her shoulder. “I