Hanging on

wanting to know when he can have a trial. He says that a good court-martial will prove he was right all along. He expects to get medals, he says. But there has to be a trial first, you see. He's impossible to work around, sir. Fark asked me if you could give him, a tentative trial date he can use to shut Slade up.”

“Tell him after the war,” Kelly said.

“That's all?”

“That's all. Just sometime after the war.”

“He's really anxious to get those medals,” the soldier said. “He isn't going to like your answer, but I'll tell him anyway.” He left the convent by the back door.

“Gee,” Kelly said, staring after him, “I always thought I knew everyone in the unit by sight and name. But I can't place that one.”

“You're kidding,” Danny Dew said. “That's Pullit.”

“Pullit? Where's his nurse's uniform?”

“He doesn't need it anymore,” Dew said. “At least, not for the moment, not until the pressure builds up again.”

“The uniform — all of that was Pullit's way of hanging on,” Kelly said, a man to whom a spiritual revelation had just come.

“I guess so,” Danny Dew said.

Dew left by the back door, while Kelly went out and joined Lily Kain on the convent stoop. She was looking at St. Ignatius, at the quaint church and the rectory, the pleasant streets still damp with the morning's shower.

Kelly put one arm around her waist. “Pretty, isn't it?”

“It doesn't look half bad.”

Overhead, the clouds were breaking up. Scattered pieces of blue sky shone down on the town.

“Well!” Kelly said, pointing east along the bridge road. “Look up there!”

Lieutenant Beame and Nathalie Jobert were walking hand-in-hand toward the edge of town. When they reached the trees, they ducked furtively into the undergrowth, out of sight.

“Good for them,” Lily said. She leaned against Kelly and clasped his buttocks in one of her quick hands.

“I'm glad Dave's finally grown up,” Kelly said.

“Who?”

“Dave. Dave Beame.”

Lily tilted her head and smiled at him. She wrinkled her pug nose and ran all her freckles together into one brown spot. “I never heard you call him by his first name before.”

Kelly shrugged. “Well, maybe it's safe enough for things like that now. Maybe first names are okay again.” He turned her around until she was facing him, encircled her with his arms. She came against him, warm and pliant, hugged him back. “I even feel safe enough to tell you I was wrong before.” He slid his good hand down her back and cupped her buttocks. “I do love you, I think.”

“Me too,” Lily said. “At least for a little while.” She kissed him, licked inside of his mouth. “Say, how would you like to go back into this convent here and—”

“Desecrate it with acts of unspeakable carnal lust?”

Lily grinned. “Yeah.” She opened the door for him. “Let's chase out all these religious spirits and have us. a nice den of iniquity.”

Kelly let go of her, stepped back, and appraised her with one frank look. “You know, everything might really be all right. And you know what I was just thinking when we were looking at the town? I think we could have a real village here, if we wanted. We could finish the insides of these houses. We could anchor them down, put basements under them. Dig some real wells.”

“Whoa!” Lily said, still holding the convent door open. “Before you get wrapped up in that fantasy, remember that Maurice owns all of St. Ignatius. He also owns your tools, machines, supplies — and everyone's next paycheck.”

“Yes,” Kelly said. “But Maurice can be taken too.” He glanced up the bridge road to the place where Beame and Nathalie had disappeared into the trees. “I'll have to speak to Dave about the kind of dowry he should demand from Maurice, when he marries Nathalie. He ought to get a good piece of money. A bulldozer. Maybe even a budding little town… ”

Lily laughed and grabbed his hand. “Spinning fairy tales again. I thought you wouldn't need those anymore.”

“I thought so too,” Kelly said. He looked back at St. Ignatius. And he began to realize that when the war ended he would still have to fight to hang on, to survive. It was not just the insane generals like Blade and the chaos of war which made hanging on his greatest, most time-consuming enterprise. It was life. The hanging on never ended. At times, the effort required to hang on was less than on other occasions; but the degree of difficulty was the only thing that changed.

“Come on,” Lily said.

Numb, he followed her into the convent. The door closed behind them.

In the dark foyer, she pulled off her dancer's costume and moved up against him, kissed him, nibbled at his ear.

“Life is a fairy tale, Lily, grand in color but modest in design. It really, really is.”

“Ahhhh,” she said, “shut up and put it to me.”