The Haunted Earth

blinking her eyes.

Brutus appeared at her side and said, 'Skullduggery.'

'Exactly!' the god roared. 'I had consumed but a cup of broth when the convulsions took me. I staggered this far and collapsed, seeking help. Now I am all but paralyzed, and I know help cannot be obtained. I die, I die!' Down the hall, Tesserax's door opened, and the maseni official came swaying toward them, nodding his bulbous head. 'What's wrong with you, Gonius?'

'What appears wrong with me?' the god moaned. 'I am the victim of those I took to be my friends. Trusting, I was stabbed in the back, taken sore advantage of, used, discarded, betrayed!'

'Does he always talk so goddamned much?' Brutus asked. 'If he does, no wonder someone poisoned him.'

'Oh, woe, woe!' Gonius cried, thrashing about as the poison seeped deeper into him.

'Pay, him no mind,' Tesserax said. 'He'll rise again, once he's dead, and he'll be poisoned again, too.'

'Heartless mortal,' Gonius said.

Tesserax leaned over the god and said, 'How often have you been poisoned by Hogar?'

'At least ten thousand times!' the giant cried. 'Is that not proof of this man's awful villainy?'

'It is, indeed,' Tesserax said. 'And it's also proof that we need not shed any tears or hold any concern over you.'

'What a cruel world it has become,' Gonius said, 'when a god's own creatures care not for him.'

'Poor, poor dear,' Helena said, reaching out to touch the god's smooth, waxy face.

But she was too late with her sympathy, for Gonius gasped and shuddered one last time, died swiftly after decrying the state of the world.

'His body's fading away,' Jessie observed.

Slowly, the great hulk was taking on an obvious transparent tone, the green carpet vaguely visible through it.

'In a few minutes,' Tesserax said, 'it will be gone altogether. In the morning, however, Gonius will be back at the breakfast table, screaming at Pearlamon and Hogar. It's rather a tedious cycle.'

The body winked out of existence.

'Well, I suppose there's nothing more we can do,' Jessie said.

'Get your sleep,' Tesserax said. 'Tomorrow, we begin questioning some locals about this beast we seek.'

On the way back to their bedroom, Helena said, 'Now I'm wide awake.'

'I know just what you need,' Jessie said. In the bedroom, he removed his robe. 'A sedative.'

Helena grinned and sat on the bed, reached to fluff the pillows, and found a note. 'What's this?' she asked, picking it up. 'It's a note to you,' she answered, without waiting for him.

'A note? On my pillow? What's it say?' ^:

She read: 'Mr. Jessie Blake — Beware all things maseni. Do not stir in cauldrons that do not concern you. If you persist at this, you will be the next victim of the beast.' She flipped the piece of paper over and looked at the other side, which was blank. 'That's it,' she said.

* * *

Tesserax finished reading the note and blinked his yellow eyes as if he might be able to make the writing disappear. 'Well, obviously,' he said at last, 'some supernatural creature came into your bedroom while you were in the hall watching Gonius die. Perhaps it phased through the wall, or pryed open a window…. Clearly, however the note was planted, the maseni supernatural community does not want you to work on this case.'

Jessie said, 'Gonius was a diversion, then?'

'Probably.'

'We'll question him.'

'My friend, he would only lie. There appears to be enough at stake to justify lying and even more. Besides, supernaturals who were once gods make the worst subjects for interrogations. They've got a natural superiority complex that makes them insufferably rude.'

'But what are we going to do about this?' Helena asked. 'Look, Tessie, we have been nearly illegally bitten by vampires and werewolves, momentarily terrorized by a Shambler, paralyzed by a sorcerer — and now we have to worry about being crushed to death by this mountain monster of yours. I will not—'

'Be calm, please,' Tesserax said. 'I have told you that the monster destroyed supernaturals as well as flesh- and-blooders. The people who wrote this not do not control it; indeed, they may be its next victims. They are bluffing, trying to frighten you off.'

'I just don't know,' Helena said.

'Believe me, my friend,' Tesserax said, patting her bare shoulder with six limpid tentacles. 'What I say is true. Besides, maseni supernaturals would never break the law; especially, they would never kill anyone. Except for this new beast, of course. But on our world, supernaturals have lived in harmony with flesh-and-blooders for so many centuries that we have no unapproved interracial violence.'

'Well….'

'You know I'm right,' the maseni said. 'Now, let's all get some sleep and forget this ugly incident.'

'It won't be easy,' Jessie said. He took the note back and read it through again. 'I've never before been threatened by a giant, barrel-footed monster.'

'When I spoke to my brood brother, Galiotor Fils, the day we left Earth,' the alien said, 'he informed me that you had taken on his case for more than money. Indeed, he felt that money was the least of your interests in finding how I had died. He said that you were bored, weary of your day-to-day investigative routine, and that you were desperate for something challenging, something exciting.'

'Your brood brother talks too much,' Brutus said. 'I should have given him an ass full of teeth, like I threatened.'

'We've had plenty of excitement already,' Helena said.

'Ah, I know you won't back out on me,' Tesserax said. 'None of you is a coward. And, besides, you don't get paid one thin tenth of a credit if you don't follow through on this.'

'Maybe I'll give you an ass full of teeth,' the hell hound said, lowering his head and opening his mouth.

Tesserax brushed nervously at his lipless mouth and looked at the rows of white teeth that Brutus displayed for his benefit. He said, 'Surely, my friend, you jest!'

Brutus snarled.

Jessie said, 'There are things more important than money, Tesserax.'

'Yes,' Helena said. 'For instance: sex, contentment, peace of mind, freedom from insomnia, having two arms and legs, life in general, fame, fun, bubble baths and pillow fights.'

Tesserax said, 'If I were you, I'd also keep in mind the reaction of my fellow maseni if you should back out now.'

'And what would that be?' Jessie asked.

'Well, I should guess, for a starter, they'd charge you with grave robbing and put out an omni-world bulletin for your arrests.'

'Why a bulletin if you've already got us.'

'I don't think we'd admit we already have you, my friend.' Tesserax smiled, because he saw that, now, he had them over the proverbial barrel, no matter how shallow that proverb might be and how rotten the barrel.

'You couldn't hold us against our will,' Jessie said. But he knew that was just so much bravado.

'That's just so much bravado,' Tesserax said.

'Try us,' Brutus growled.

The alien said, 'Your people are only beginning to build a space travel system, at maseni direction. You'd have to leave here in a maseni ship. Do you seriously believe you could get tickets?'

Jessie threw the note on the dresser. 'You win.'

Tesserax beamed at each of them in turn. 'Fine, fine. Well, shall we get some sleep so we're at least a bit fresh for the morning?' He turned and walked to the drawing room, then looked back and said, 'Remember, if Hogar brings you anything for breakfast, don't eat it.'