He winced. A hard price; a harder choice. 'I think,' Kellen said aloud, 'that she must have been very brave.'
Vestakia nodded, accepting his comment as no more than simple fact. 'It was—so my aunt always told me later—a hard choice to make, for some claimed that Demons were not by nature evil, and if one could only get an imp young enough, and raise it up in love and law, perhaps its nature could be turned away from Darkness. And if Mama had only taken the choice of having me look human, she could have stayed where she was, among her friends and family, and hoped for the best. Perhaps—so she might have told herself—I could have been turned from my evil ways. And even more temptingly, even if I was evil by nature, there was a good chance that I wouldn't begin to work my wickedness until I was grown, and due to the nature of her price, she knew she would be dead by then.'
Shalkan made a little, thoughtful sound. 'Less risk for her; potentially a disaster for everyone else. Not so much a choice as a temptation?'
'Maybe,' Vestakia acknowledged. 'Maybe not. Maybe it is true that Demons are not evil in nature; maybe she would have been doing all of the world a great service by proving it. If it were only her own fate that was at stake, I believe she might have tried it. But it was not. If the child proved to be evil in blood and bone, if my nature had been unredeemable, she would be risking not only her sister's life and those of everyone in the village—not only with what I might do to them, but in what would certainly happen when my father came for me. And not only theirs, but perhaps the lives of everyone in the surrounding countryside as well, for once Demons are drawn to a hunting ground and find it undefended, they do not stop until they have destroyed everything within reach. Mama saw that one path was easy—for her—and one was hard, but that only one was right. She was very brave,' Vestakia finished proudly. 'She told the Good Goddess that she would bear a Demon-appearing but human-spirited child, and sealed her bargain.'
'Good for her.' Shalkan touched Vestakia's cheek lightly with his horn, and she glowed a little at his praise. Out of the corner of his eyes, Kellen caught Jermayan watching, his frown deepening at this further proof that Vestakia was not what he thought her to be.
She picked up the thread of her story again. 'But I would not be born for many moonturns yet, and she had many plans still to make if we were both to survive, for Mama did not intend for either of us to die—nor for either of us to fall into my father's hands again. She went to her elder sister Patanene, who was unmarried and loved her dearly, and confided all to her, and my aunt was just as brave and strong as Mama. Aunt Patanene got herself put in charge of a flock of goats to be sent out deeper into the mountains for summer pasturage, and Mama went with her. They stole half the flock, and took it away with them deep into the Lost Lands, where they knew they would never be found, walking for moonturns. I was born in a hut the two of them built with their own hands and shared with their little flock.'
Two women and a baby all alone in these mountains? And I thought living in the Wildwood was hard! Kellen thought to himself.
'I suppose it was a hard life for them,' Vestakia said, in an unconscious echo of his thoughts. 'As for me, I never knew any other. Mama's Wild-magery kept us well and safe and fed, and I was always happy, even though the very first thing I learned was that I must never let anyone see me. All was well for ten years, then Mama died, paying her price, and Aunt 'Nene and I were left alone to fend for ourselves. We didn't do quite as well, I think… Mama's magic had kept us safe when the Demons hunted me, and when she died, at first we were never sure when they were near. But then, when I…' Vestakia hesitated, and looked away, embarrassed. 'When I… began to become a woman… I realized that I could sense them when they drew near, because I became ill. Aunt 'Nene and I had reason to bless that gift, many times!
'But it was a hard life, very hard. And when Aunt 'Nene fell ill, four years after Mama died, I wasn't skilled enough to nurse her back to health, and though I called upon the Good Goddess, without Wild Magic, I could do nothing for her but to keep her comfortable and ease her spirit. And she died. So then I was alone.'
By now Kellen had finished working the allheal into Vestakia's ankle, and he began winding the linen bandage firmly about her foot—not too tight, or it would cut off the circulation. He only hoped what little he could do would be enough.
How brave she had been! Compared with what she had faced growing up alone and isolated, his own problems as Lycaelon's despised and socially embarrassing son seemed like nothing. He'd spent a lot of time feeling sorry for himself, but he could tell, just by looking at her, that Vestakia had never wasted a single moment on self- pity.
'What did you do then?' he asked. 'After your aunt died, and you were all alone?'
'What could I do?' Vestakia asked, with some spirit. 'If I sat about and bewailed my lot, the goats would starve, I would starve, and what use would there have been of Mama's sacrifice, of all of Aunt 'Nene's care? I buried her next to Mama, I tended my flock, I went on with my life. I knew how to hunt, I had milk and cheese and butter from my goats, eggs from the wild birds, and sometimes meat. Though you may not think it, there are wild foods growing in these hills, not abundant, but Mama and Aunt 'Nene taught me how to find them. Sometimes I could trade for bread and flour with the other crofters—I wore gloves, and bandages over my face, and let them think I had some horrible skin disease. I managed well enough. I knew the Demons were hunting for me—Mama had warned me that my father would always know that I was still alive, even if he could not tell exactly where I was because of the boon the Good Goddess had granted her, and that he would never give up searching for me. So I hid whenever I felt the Demons nearby, but I dared not leave the hills, or go anywhere there were more people, because I would be killed at once or, and that would be nearly as bad, lead the Demons among people. Mama made sure I learned those lessons well, so that I would never be tempted to show my face to anyone. She warned me that anyone who saw it and pretended not to care must be a Demon in human guise; of course, she never lived to know that no Demon would ever be able to trick me that way…' Vestakia sighed and bowed her head. 'When I saw you… when you saved me… I was so afraid! I thought my power had failed me somehow. If Shalkan hadn't been there…'
She reached out to the unicorn, and Shalkan stepped forward so that Vestakia could stroke his cheek.
