'Before Father was Arch-Mage, Alance came into the City with a trading caravan of the Mountain-folk. He was already on the Council then, though not yet Arch-Mage, overseeing the licensing of new goods for the markets. She said she fell in love with him, and when her caravan left, she stayed. I was born, and then, ten years later, you were bom.'
Kellen was putting together the chronology in his mind. 'Was she happy? I mean, I can't see F—Lycaelon with a wife.'
Idalia gave him a measuring look. 'I suppose they must have been happy at first, but once you were born, he changed toward her—I was only a child, but I do know he became very strange around that time. He separated us from her, did everything he could to keep me away from her, and put both of us in the care of a nurse I didn't much like. The nurse was very strict, always lecturing me about how I needed to be a proper lady if I was going to grow up to marry well.'
Idalia laughed, but there was little humor in the sound. 'Now, up until that point, I had always assumed I would become a Mage like Father. When the nurse came, I was swiftly disabused of that notion. And when I demanded to know why not, I was informed that it was the destiny of a Mageborn girl to marry a Mage—since only the finest Mageborn son would do for Lycaelon's daughter—and produce lots of sons to grow up and become Mages. You can imagine how much I enjoyed hearing that!'
Kellen winced. 'I'm sorry,' he said awkwardly.
She shrugged. 'It doesn't matter now. Anyway, Mother came to me in secret one night when you were about a year old—there was a tremendous party for your Naming Day, and of course I wasn't let to attend. I'd thrown a furious tantrum over it and been sent to bed without supper, locked in my room so I couldn't sneak out and cause trouble. I cried myself sick, of course, and then in came Mother, dressed in the strangest clothes I'd ever seen, with a pack on her back just like a street merchant.
'She told me she was going away—'
'She ran away?' Kellen gasped.
Idalia nodded.'t'Not dead, no matter what you were told. She ran away. She told me she was going away, and that I would never, ever see her again. She told me that she loved me, and you, and it was not because of anything that either of us had done, but that she must go, because she had come to realize that Lycaelon loved his magick and his reputation more than anything else in the world, including her. She said I must be brave and careful, and that no matter what happened, I must never, ever speak of her again to anyone, even to you, because that was the only way you and I could be safe.'
Perhaps because Kellen hadn't known his mother, he found it easy to sympathize with her plight. Perhaps because he knew now just how vindictive Lycaelon could be, he understood. But he saw the masked pain in Idalia's eyes, and heard the hurt in her voice. It had been different for her…
'I begged her to take me with her, but she said that Father would never let me go, because I was his daughter, and that this was the only way. Then she kissed me and left. I tried to follow her, but she'd locked the door again. There was nothing I could do but cry myself back to sleep.'
'I'm sorry,' Kellen said again, wishing he could make some of that pain go away.
But Idalia shrugged, and a kind of veil dropped over her expression. 'In the morning, as soon as I could get away from the nurse, I sneaked into Mother's rooms, but they'd all been tidied away, and every trace of her was gone, as if no one had ever lived in those rooms at all. I waited sennights for someone to even mention that she was gone, but no one ever did. Ever.
'I was so frightened by their silence that I did exactly as Mother said, and never said a single word about her, so perhaps that was why Father didn't think he needed to bother with erasing her from my mind. Or perhaps there was a spell after all. Or perhaps a little of both—you already know how mysteriously the Wild Magic works.'
'Oh, yes,' Kellen agreed bitterly. 'And things are always, 'out of sight, out of mind' for Lycaelon. As long as there's no reason for him to act, he's far more concerned with all that business of being important than with anything in his household.'
'I'm not surprised,' Idalia replied. 'Well, after that, I devoted myself to making life hell for a succession of governesses and to protecting and taking care of you; Father devoted his to becoming Arch-Mage; and you grew up into an adorable little boy. And the one thing I wanted most in the entire world was to become a Mage myself. .
'Of course it was unthinkable. I'd been told that, loudly and repeatedly. Nevertheless, it was the one thing I wanted most in the entire world.'
Kellen eyed her with speculation. 'Why is it that I just know you wouldn't take 'no' for an answer?'
She smiled thinly, but continued without a comment. 'Of course it was as unthinkable when I was in my teens as it had been when I was a child. I'd heard all the arguments—women were too emotional, too frivolous, not smart enough, but they all boiled down to one: there'd never been a female Mage in Armethalieh before, and so of course there could never be one now. So I sneaked into the Records Room of the Council Hall to search through their archives, since unlike the Library at the Mage College, which I knew I'd never be able to get into, the Council Hall isn't surrounded with wards to keep any mere mortal from setting foot in it. All I had to do was make sure I went on a day when the place was full of foreign Traders. That was easy enough; some of them always get lost, and if they were triggering wards all over the place there'd be no peace for the high-and-mighty overlords of the City!
