Magic's Pawn

'Lord and Lady - lock her up!' Savil exclaimed.

'No fear, she's steadied since she reached Adept. No more headlong races into danger just for the thrill. So - Rainstar is out already, with another call from the kyree, as is Fireflight. And that is the total of k'Treva Adepts.' Starwind grimaced. 'If this were summer…'

'If this were summer, it wouldn't be colddrakes, ashke, ' Moondance reminded him. 'We work with what we have, and grateful that Wingsister Savil is with us.'

'Let's get on with it,' Savil said, steadying herself for the long climb down, as the Tayledras transferred their birds from forearm to shoulder for the descent. 'So far as I'm concerned, I'll take a colddrake over your bedamned ladder any time!''

The snow cleared just before dawn, and the sun rose, pale and glorious, shining through the bare branches of the trees. The forest was filled with light; with the light came a resurgence of Vanyel's good sense.

He sat down on a stump, tired and winded, and suddenly seemed to wake out of the hold of his nightmare. What am I doing out here? he thought, panting. I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what I'm going to do when I get there, I have no idea where I am! I just - hared off into nowhere, like a complete idiot!

He put his pack down at his feet and scooped up some of the new snow in his mitten and ate it; it numbed his tongue, but it didn't do much for his thirst. I can't believe I did anything this stupid.

He wrapped his cloak tighter, and tucked his knees up under his chin, staring at the delicate tracery of white branches against the painfully blue sky. He began to think things through, slowly; one small, painful step at a time.

He flushed with shame. I can't believe I did this. Dammit, I know how much Savil loves me, I've felt it - and Yfandes, and - damn, I am a rotten fool. Moondance was just trying to say that it's - easier to have other people around who hurt when you hurt, not that he thought he hurt worse than me. I hurt him by pushing him away.

His blush deepened. Worst of it is, he'll likely forgive me without my asking. They didn't abandon me yesterday; they were busy - probably over my welfare. They gave me exactly what I wanted; to be left alone. I should have been knocked up against a wall.

He brooded, watching the birch branches swaying in the breeze. He was alone, completely alone, as he had not been since he left Forst Reach. The only thing breaking the silence was the whisper of the breeze and the occasional call of a winter bird. It was the kind of solitude he had sought - and not found - in the ice-dream. And now that he had it, he didn't want it.

Not that this place wasn't peaceful - but a sanctuary, as he had discovered with his little hideaway at the keep, could all too easily become a prison.

When you lock things out, he thought slowly, you lock yourself in. I think maybe that was what Moondance was trying to tell me.

He stared at the white branches, not seeing them, and not really thinking; just letting things turn over in the back of his mind. There was a half-formed thought back there, an important one. But it wasn't quite ready to come out yet.

Finally he sighed, and turned his thoughts back to his own stupidity. Even if that dream is ForeSight, there's probably ways around it. Nobody's going to force me into being a Herald. I could probably stay here if I asked to. There was no reason to go running off into the wilderness with nothing but what I could carry and no weapons. Gods, what a fool I am!

He swiveled around to look down his backtrail. Even as he watched, the brisk breeze was filling in the last of his tracks with the light, powdery snow.

He groaned aloud. Oh, fine. Just fine. I probably won't be able to find my way back now! I don't need teachers, I need nursemaids!

Then he blinked, caught in sudden astonishment at the tone of his own thoughts. He sat up a little straighter and took stock of himself, and found that he was - feeling alive again. Feeling ready to be alive.

It's like I've been sick, fevered, and the fever just broke. Like I've been broken inside, somehow, and I'm finally starting to feel healed. I haven't felt this - good - since Tylendel - died -

He closed his eyes, expecting pain at that thought. There was pain, but not the debilitating agony of loss it had been.

'Lendel, he thought with a tinge of wonder, I still miss you. It still hurts, you not being here. But I guess Moon-dance was right. I have to get on with my life, even though you aren't here to share it.

He opened his eyes on the snow-sparkling forest, and actually managed a weak smile at his own folly. 'I really am an idiot, a right royal moon calf. And you'd have been the first to laugh at me, wouldn't you, 'Lendel?' He shook his head at himself. 'All right, I guess I'd better figure out how to find my way back without a trail to follow.'

Then the answer came to him, and he laughed at his own stupidity. 'Lord and Lady, it's a good thing you take care of fools. All I have to do is look for mages. It's not like there's too many enclaves of mages out here, after all! The power should be there for even a dunderhead like me to see.'

He closed his eyes again, and took a deep breath of the cold, crisp air. Center - ground - and open - well, just like I figured, there they are -

The surge of Gate-energy hit him with a shock, knocking him senseless.

* * *

When Vanyel came to again, the sun was high overhead, shining down on his cheek; it was noon, or nearly. He was lying where he'd fallen, on his side, braced between his pack and the stump. He'd curled up around the pack, and the roots from the stump were digging into his side and leg. His ears were ringing - or was it his head? Whatever; it felt as if he'd been graced with one of Jervis' better efforts.

Gods. He glanced up at the sun, and winced. That was a Gate. Nothing else feels like that. Oh, I hurt. It's a