'Tarma -- all this -- we both nearly died. I would have died with a broken promise to you on my soul.'
Kethry paused for a long moment, so long that Tarma was afraid she wasn't going to finish what she had begun to say.
She turned from looking out the window to regard her partner soberly, knowing that Kethry had something troubling her gravely. Even Warrl looked up from where he lay on Tarma's bed, ears pricked and eyes unfathomable. Finally Kethry sighed and continued.
'I guess what I want to ask you is this. Do you want me -- us -- to stop this wandering? To go back to the Plains? After all, it's me that's been keeping us on the road, not you. I -- haven't found any man I'd care to spend more than a night or two with, but that really doesn't matter to my promise. It doesn't take liking to get children. Oh, hell, there's always Justin and Ikan, I do like them well enough to share a bed with them for a bit. And once we had some children, I could keep myself in practice easily enough. I could establish a White Winds school even without the cash -- I'm getting close enough to Adept to do that now. I'd rather have better circumstances to do that than we have right now, but I could scrape along. We certainly have the reputation now to attract good pupils.'
Tarma turned back to gaze up at the waning moon, troubled. It was true that the most important thing in the world to her was the re-founding of her slaughtered Clan -- and they had nearly died without being any closer to that goal.
There were times when she longed for the tents of her people and the open Plains with all her soul. And there were other negatives to this life they were leading. There was no guarantee something like this couldn't happen again. Being gang-raped, or so she suspected, had been the least of the unspeakable things she'd suffered unaware in Thalhkarsh's hands.
Far worse was the absence of the Star-Eyed's presence in her soul when she'd returned to herself. And when her goddess had not returned to her with Thalhkarsh's transformation, she'd been afraid for a moment that the Warrior would not take her back with her celibacy violated.
That had turned out to be a foolish fear, as her priest-friend had proved to her. No sooner had he cleansed her of the last of Thalhkarsh's magicbindings, then she felt the Warrior's cool and supportive presence once again in her heart; the asexual psychic armor of the Sword Sworn closed around her again, and she could regard the whole experience as something to learn and benefit from. She was heart-whole and healed again -- in spirit if not in body.
Still, none of this would have happened if they'd returned to the Plains; in the very home of the Goddess of the Four Winds the demon would have been powerless, no matter what he had claimed; the bandit would never have made his way past the Outer Clans. And -- Warrior's Oath, how Tarma longed to see the Tale'sedrin banner flying above a full encampment, with bright-faced children within and fat herds without. Kethry's wandering feet had nearly caused their deaths this time, and Tale'sedrin had nearly died with them. And her Clan, as for any Shin'a'in, was the most important thing in Tarma's life.
But no, it wasn't the most important thing, not anymore. Not if Kethry was going to be made a captive to see that dream achieved. A willing captive she would be, perhaps, but still a captive.
Kethry had been right -- she had been stifling her friend, and with the best of intentions. She had been putting invisible hobbles on her, or trying to.
Her Shin'a'in soul rebelled at the notion -- 'You do not hobble your hound, your horse, your hawk, your lover, or your she'enedren,' went the saying, 'love must live free.' A prisoner was a prisoner, no matter how willingly the bonds were taken. And how truly Shin'a'in could Kethry be, bound? And if she were not Shin'a'in in her heart, how could her children follow the Clan-ways with whole spirits?
And yet -- and yet -- there remained Kethry's oath, and her dream. If Kethry died...
She closed her eyes and emptied her heart, and hoped for an answer.
And miraculously, one came.
A tiny breath of chill wind wafted out of the north, and coiled around her body, enclosing her in silence. And in that silence, an ageless voice spoke deep in her soul.
Tarma's heart lifted and she turned back to face her partner with a genuine smile.
'What, and turn you into 'another Shin'a'in brood mare'? Come now, she'enedra, we treat our stock better than that! A warsteed mates when she is ready, and not before. Surely you don't reckon yourself as less than Hellsbane!' Tarma's smile turned wicked. 'Or should I start catching handsome young men and parading them before you to tempt your appetite... ?'
Kethry laughed with mingled chagrin and relief, blushing hotly.
'Perhaps I ought to begin a collection, hmm? That's what we do for our warsteeds, you know, present them with a whole line of stallions until one catches their fancy. Shall I start a picket line for you ? Or would you rather I acquired a house of pleasure and stocked the rooms so that you could try their paces at your leisure before
