do then it’s because there’s a very good reason.’
‘And don’t you forget sometimes? Forget what you said before? That’s my nightmare, that I’ll give myself away by forgetting something.’
‘I’m lucky,’ said Shepherd. ‘I’ve got a photographic memory. I pretty much remember everything I see and hear.’
‘Eidetic they call it, right?’ said Chaudhry. ‘Kid I went to school had it. But the funny thing was that he wasn’t that great at exams.’
‘Same with me,’ said Shepherd. ‘Just because you can remember stuff doesn’t mean you can write great essays. But it’s a big help when you’re undercover.’
‘I worry that I’m thinking too much before answering. Especially with Khalid. It’s as if I have to run everything through a filter, checking that I’m saying the right thing. It’s so bloody stressful.’
Shepherd empathised. It was exactly how he worked when he was undercover. It was vital that he never said anything that wasn’t known by his character, so everything that came out of his mouth had to be analysed and approved. Often he would go into an operation fully briefed on most of the people he would come across, but that didn’t mean his character had access to the same information. He had to be constantly aware of who he’d met and who he hadn’t, and what he had said to them. He understood exactly what Chaudhry meant about it being stressful, because he had to do all that without any sign of hesitation. Hesitation could easily be taken as evasiveness so it was important that conversations flowed. Humour was good, banter back and forth could slow down a conversation and give him time to think, but sometimes jokes weren’t appropriate. Props were good, especially drinks. If a question blindsided him a sip of his whisky would give him time to get his thoughts straight. And as much as he disliked smoking, a cigarette was a perfect way of getting a few seconds of thinking time.
‘The trick is to rehearse stories in your head,’ said Shepherd. ‘Get so familiar with them that you can tell them without thinking. That way if you’re in a situation that makes you uncomfortable you can relax and tell the story because in your mind you’ve told it a hundred times before. And it helps if it’s a funny story. If you get people laughing that takes their mind off you. Makes them less suspicious, anyway.’
‘Khalid doesn’t have much of a sense of humour,’ said Chaudhry. ‘And he’s not one for anecdotes.’
‘Then try asking him questions. Play stupid. Most people think they’re smarter than everyone else and you can play to that. You don’t need to act like a simpleton but asking for help and for information will make him feel superior. You have to be careful that you don’t come over as if you’re pumping him for information. Don’t ask for facts, or for hard information. Tell him you’re feeling anxious and ask him how he deals with that. Ask him how he stays so focused. Give him the opportunity to talk about himself; that’s what people love to do most.’
Chaudhry laughed. ‘You make it sound like seduction,’ he said. ‘That’s exactly how you go about winning over a woman, right? Make her laugh, ask her about herself.’
‘That’s not far off the mark,’ said Shepherd. ‘In a way it is all about seduction. You need them to like you and trust you, so you say and do whatever you have to, to achieve that.’
‘And then when they trust you, you fuck them. It’s exactly the same.’ Chaudhry nodded thoughtfully. ‘Yeah, I can do that.’
‘You’ve got to be careful, though,’ said Shepherd. ‘You’ve heard of Stockholm Syndrome? Where hostages start to build empathy with their captors?’
‘Sure.’
‘Well, it can happen when you’re undercover. You’re putting so much effort into getting them to trust you that there’s a danger of you starting to get drawn into the relationship.’
‘I doubt that’s going to happen with Khalid,’ said Chaudhry. ‘He’s a nasty piece of work. He really does hate us, you know.’
For a moment Shepherd wondered what Chaudhry meant by ‘us’ and then he realised that he was talking about the British.
‘What I can’t understand about people like him is that they’re happy enough to live here and take advantage of what this country has to offer, yet they put all this effort into trying to destroy it,’ said Chaudhry. ‘He gets full benefits, you know. He managed to persuade his GP to say that he’s got a bad back so he gets disability payments and everything.’
‘Is he really in pain?’
‘Is he hell,’ said Chaudhry. ‘But he faked it. They gave him a scan and sent him to a specialist who found nothing, but what can they do? If he says he has constant back pain they have to believe him, so now he gets a couple of hundred quid a week from the state. They pay his rent, he doesn’t pay council tax, and he was saying that he never pays his electricity or water bills because they can’t cut him off since he’s disabled. I tell you, John, this country is going to the dogs.’ He sipped his coffee and sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound off. It’s just that I hate what’s happening to England. And it’s people like Khalid that are trying to ruin it for everyone else. He wants sharia law here. He wants women to cover themselves. He wants us to become a Muslim country. I just don’t get it. If he’s that unhappy with things here why doesn’t he just go and live in Pakistan, or Saudi Arabia?’ He smiled at Shepherd. ‘Have you ever been to Pakistan?’
Shepherd shook his head.
‘It’s a cesspit, mainly,’ said Chaudhry. ‘Don’t get me wrong, the people are great and I’ve got family out there, but it’s corrupt, it’s dangerous, and the rich hold the power of life and death over the poor. If you’re rich or connected to the army you can get away with murder, literally. It’s a country where the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. That’s why practically everyone in Pakistan wants to come and live in England. I don’t understand why anyone would prefer that way of life to the way we live here.’ He shrugged. ‘Rant over,’ he said.
‘Not a problem,’ said Shepherd. ‘Better you let off steam with me rather than let Khalid know how you feel.’ He looked at his watch.
‘Have you got to go?’ asked Chaudhry.
‘I’m fine,’ said Shepherd. ‘I can stay as long as you want. That’s what I’m here for, Raj. To help you in any way I can.’
‘Can I ask you something?’
‘Sure.’
‘Is your name really John?’ asked Chaudhry, his voice a low whisper as if he was afraid to ask the question.
Shepherd smiled as he stared at Chaudhry, but his mind was racing. Protocol was to stick with his MI5 alias under any circumstances, and to never, ever, admit that he was anyone other than John Whitehill. But the fact that Chaudhry had asked the question meant that he already suspected that Whitehill was an alias, and if he believed that and Shepherd still lied then it would destroy any trust they had. ‘No,’ said Shepherd. ‘It isn’t.’
Chaudhry closed his eyes and sighed. ‘I knew it,’ he said. He opened his eyes again. ‘But I appreciate your honesty. You could have lied but you didn’t. I respect that.’
‘Don’t take this the wrong way, Raj,’ said Shepherd. ‘It’s the way that MI5 works. It has to be that way. If you don’t know my real name then you can’t let it slip out by mistake. Also, it protects me. The John Whitehill name is specific to this operation so if it gets used by anyone we know where they picked it up.’
Chaudhry frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Suppose we hear the name Whitehill mentioned on a phone tap out in Pakistan. That’s an immediate red flag for us and we’d know that we have a problem in London. But if my real name was being used it might have come up in a dozen operations, so we wouldn’t know where the problem was.’
‘I guess that makes sense.’
‘And suppose you knew my real name as well as my cover name, it would just add to the pressure you’re under. Yet another lie you have to tell.’ He leaned towards Chaudhry. ‘If you want I’ll tell you my real name,’ he said. ‘You’ve earned the right to know who I am. But it’s in your best interests not to know. And if you ever need to contact MI5, the John Whitehill name is the key to instant access to me or, if I’m not available, to another case officer who will be apprised of your situation immediately. If you were to call up and ask for me by my real name they’d deny all knowledge of me.’
‘So you’re under as much pressure as we are, aren’t you?’ said Chaudhry. ‘We have to lie to everyone around us and you have to pretend to be someone you’re not.’
‘It’s not the same thing, not really,’ said Shepherd. ‘Look, Raj, many’s the time I’ve sat opposite a handler
