Brightly Burning

subject he had not been anticipating.

'So, has Lavan found a sweetheart among the Trainees?' she asked, so casually that Pol didn't believe for a moment that she felt casual about the subject.

Oh, gods, no— he thought, with a sinking heart. There was only one thing that could prompt a question like that; Elenor was smitten with the boy. Oh gods. Grant that it isn't serious yet. His tired mind, which had been sinking into a state of comfortable relaxation, suddenly lurched into frantic activity again. He knew from his experiences with her older sisters that the last person a girl confides her romantic hopes to is her father. Somehow, some way, he had to dissuade her from setting those hopes on Lavan Firestarter. Assuming it wasn't already too late.

But what to say?

'He's not going to. You're more like to see that fire iron take a sweetheart,' Pol settled on, with a yawn to cover his anxiety. Above all, the one thing he must not do was appear opposed to her infatuation. Nothing watered and fed the young plant of love like parental opposition.

'Oh, come now, Father, you are never going to convince me he's shaych,' she replied with a laugh, that faded as he didn't reply. 'Is he?' she faltered.

It was so tempting to let her believe that, but she was a Healer, and she would be able to figure the truth of that out for herself without too much difficulty. 'No, he's not shaych,' Pol replied, and interrupted her sigh of relief with, 'But he might just as well be. Any girl who pins her hopes on him as a sweetheart is going to have her heart broken. He's already lifebonded.'

He hoped that Elenor would leave things at that, but no. She looked at him sharply, as the fire flared beside her. 'I thought you said he didn't have a sweetheart—oh, she's not in the Trainees?' Her brow wrinkled with puzzlement and annoyance. 'But he hasn't seen anyone but his sister—' And now her expression turned to one of horror. 'He can't be lifebonded to his sister?'

She jumped to her feet; Pol rose and grabbed both her elbows, holding her fast, so that she had to look into his eyes. 'Elenor, listen to me. Lavan is lifebonded to Kalira. There is absolutely no doubt of it.'

'Kalira?' She stood very, very still, and he let go of her arms. 'Kalira? His Companion?'

Pol sat down heavily, and she copied him unconsciously. He nodded, watching her closely. 'Kalira. His Companion. There is no room in his life or his heart for any other female except as a friend.'

Firelight created changing shadows over her face, a face whose expressions changed as quickly as the shadows. 'But that's not possible,' she said aloud, hardly seeming to be aware that she was speaking. 'That can't be possible.'

'It is possible, and it is the truth.' Pol said bluntly, now hoping to hammer his point home with repetition.

'But Kalira—' She turned her eyes toward her father entreatingly. 'A Companion isn't human—a Companion can't be—' She flushed a bright crimson. 'A Companion can't—she isn't human—'

He decided to be as obtuse and diplomatic as possible. 'It doesn't matter. Not when they're lifebonded. They are bound to each other in a way that nothing can change.'

But Elenor wasn't going to take the hint. 'A Companion isn't a woman. Kalira can't be what I—ah, a woman can be!'

'Elenor, it doesn't matter. Listen to me; I know. I'm not speculating, I know. It. Does. Not. Matter.' He leaned forward and took her hands before she could withdraw them, using every, voice trick and Gift he had mastered in all his years as a Herald to make her listen and believe. 'He will never love a human as anything other than a friend. Don't lose your heart to him, because you'll only end up breaking it over this, and it won't be his fault that you do. I'll comfort you, but I won't sympathize with you.'

Her expression gradually settled to one of dazed confusion. He let her hands go, then, and she put her right to her temple. 'I just—it doesn't—' she faltered. Then she rose slowly. 'I think I'd better go get some rest.'

'I think you should, too,' he replied soothingly, putting his arm around her as he escorted her to the door. He kept his own feelings behind hard shields; the last thing she needed was to sense his aching heart, she already had her own to deal with. 'It's been a long day for both of us. Thank you for dinner; I enjoyed it very much, and your company.'

She came to herself long enough to give him a wan smile and a kiss on the cheek. 'Thanks, Father. I love you, too.'

He closed the door behind her, and leaned against it, waiting until she was long gone from the building, well on her way to Healers' Collegium, and as preoccupied as she was, unlikely to sense his emotions.

He let his shields down, and metaphorically leaned on Satiran's shoulder, his heart surely as sore as Elenor's was. My poor baby! Even if it was only infatuation, it hurt, and she'd never had her heart wounded before. Just now, all she knew was grief; she didn't know that grief can heal, or that some can be greater than others. First love was no less real than mature love, and first heartbreak hurt worse. He buried his head in his hands and hot tears of the sorrow only a parent can know for the hurts of his child slipped through his fingers.

:There is nothing harder than being a father or mother,: Satiran said, with an understanding deeper than the words could ever reach.

:Yes,: he replied, and with that one word said all that could be said.

*

LAN always thought that this was the saddest part of the year, the time when it seemed that winter would never end. The excitement of Midwinter was over; hard-packed snow blanketed the ground, and an unending sea of gray cloud blanketed the sky. The cold was relentless, leaking in around door- and window-frames, sending unexpected chills down the back. You couldn't escape it, except in bed, and you knew that when you woke up again, you'd be battling it from the time you turned back the covers.