to get shackled up to some girl I hardly know just so my parents can be grandparents, and it’s not as if they aren’t already, because they are. If I marry anyone, it’s going to be someone I love and would do anything for, not someone my parents picked out because they’re neighbors! Someone like—” he paused. “Never mind. It just won’t be her.”
Lena stared at him, startled by his vehemence. He looked down at his hands. “Sorry. That kind of just jumped out.”
“Nothin’ t’ be sorry fer,” Mags offered. He shook his head. “Sometimes it seems like we all oughta just run away from here, an’—an’ that’s when I run out, cause I dunno what we’d do t’ keep ourselves fed an’ housed up.”
“I could always be an animal Healer,” Bear said sourly. “At least animals are always grateful to you. Nobody thinks you’re second-rate because you treat them with medicine instead of a Gift. Animal Healers are always in demand.”
“I could be a traveling minstrel,” Lena answered, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. “I’m good enough for that right now. Maybe we should do that. Run away and do that. Show them all.”
Mags shrugged. “I got nothin’. All I know’s mine work. Jest end up i’ the same situation, jest wi’ a better master. Mebbe. I misdoubt Master Cole was th’ on’y mine owner t’ treat ’is miners thet way.”
And Lena sighed. “Traveling minstrels starve a lot,” she said forlornly. “And my father still wouldn’t notice or care.”
“Well then,” Bear said stolidly. “No running away.”
They all sighed, and looked at one another.
As Mags made his way back to his room in the stable that night, he resolved one thing. He was going to at least ask King’s Own Nikolas if he could help Bear.
If, of course, he could ever see the man.
He decided to take the bull by the horns—or at least, the heifer. He was going to help Amily that evening, since Nikolas hadn’t shown up at his room or even given any indication that he was
“Lissen,” he said, before they got down to work. “Gotta ast ye somethin’.”
She raised her eyes to look at him. “Of course,” she replied.
“I need t’ see yer Pa. Nikolas,” he said, looking her in the eyes.
She looked away, but laughed, though it wasn’t exactly the laughter of someone who was hearing a joke. “We all need to see him,” she told him, still not looking at him. “He has become a phantom. I know he’s still here in Haven, because dirty plates and filthy uniforms appear in our rooms and have to be taken away, but I haven’t actually seen him personally in the last few days.”
“Well, when ye do, tell ’im I need t’ see ’im?” he pleaded. “It’s pretty important.”
“If I see him I will,” Amily replied, looking uneasy, and maybe a little guilty. “But sometimes he does this and I don’t see him for—well, once it was for three moons.”
Well that would be a bit too late . . .
But it would be ungracious to act like a boor about it. Amily couldn’t help what her father thought or did. “All right,” he replied. “Thenkee. Now, hand me my share, aye?”
She did so, and he couldn’t help but note that her hand was shaking a little as she did it.
Bear’s place at lunch was empty.
For a moment, Mags had the crazy thought that Bear’s brother had arrived and essentially kidnapped his sibling—but no, that wouldn’t be possible, would it? Surely no one here would allow that.
“Anybody know where Bear is?” he asked aloud. His only response was headshakes.
Well, there was no point in worrying about it. Bear was often called away; this was probably just another one of those times.
They were almost done with the meal when Bear turned up, finally, looking bad. Ragged. He dropped down into his seat and stared dully at his empty plate, a plate which Gennie and Mags took, filled with the leftovers and shoved in front of him.
“Eat!” said Gennie.
“He’s dead,” Bear said, mechanically picking up a fork and getting a mouthful. “I don’t understand it. He just... died. He shouldn’t have died. I was crazy-careful about dosages and combinations. I tested everything on myself first—”
He stopped, as if he had said too much. No one else seemed to notice the gaff, they were all staring at him in puzzlement.
“Who died?” Halleck asked.
“Lunatic,” Bear said dully. “The crazy foreigner. I just don’t understand it. I thought I had his fear and his heart rate under control. He was fine last night. I made sure he took everything. The new stuff I gave him was working, at least I think it was, there were moments when he was even coming out of that fear-fit he was in . . .”
“Oh, him.” Halleck shrugged. “Bear, I know he was your patient, and you have to feel bad about that, and I know that the senior Healers trusted him to you to treat, but face it, they only did that because they couldn’t do anything with him. They’d already given up on getting him sane, and everyone else had given up on getting any information out of him. So it’s not as if it’s a tragic loss . . .”
Halleck trailed off, seeing that he wasn’t getting through to Bear.
Mags knew why. Entirely apart from the fact that Bear took the care of every patient he had very seriously, there was the implication that his skills were nowhere near as sharp as he and everyone else had thought. Failure put him one step closer to being hauled home, and his brother was due here any day.
And Mags hadn’t exactly done anything about getting Nikolas to intercede for him.
Of course, that was because Nikolas wasn’t anywhere to be found, but that was beside the point. He hunched over a little with guilt, and finished his lunch in a hurry. “ ’M sorry, Bear,” he mumbled as he got up to leave. “I don’ think ’twas yer fault, if thet means anythin’.”
Bear didn’t even look up.
Mags heard the shouting long before he got to Healers’ Collegium. One voice was Bear’s; the other was very like Bear’s, just deeper. The accent was even the same, which pretty much identified who it was.
Bear’s brother was here.
“. . . and now you see what happens when you think you can muck around with midwife potions and try to do what only a skilled and Gifted Healer can!” shouted the deeper voice. “You are in way over your head, Bear! We should never have allowed you to come here; you let a few early successes go to your head and they made you think you could actually do what only a real Healer can, and now you see the result! You managed to kill a valuable asset to the Crown!”
Mags hesitated. Should he leave? He had no right to listen to this.
But he couldn’t seem to make his feet move.
“I didn’t—”
“Bah, don’t tell me that, I know you, I can read you like a Mindspeaker. Even you think you killed him!” There was steel in that voice, the steel of someone who was absolutely certain he was in the right, and no one was going
