Magic's Promise

Twelve years forsaken. Twelve long, lonely years, knowing I'll never be whole again.

'What happened?' the youngster persisted, sounding very young indeed.

'He killed himself.'

There. Are you happy? Now will you go away?

'But -' No condemnation, just bewilderment. '- why7 How could he - when he had a Companion?'

So you know that already, do you ? How if we die, they die? But you don't know everything, laddy-boy.

'She repudiated him. That's why he did it. He - couldn't bear - the -'

He couldn't finish.

Silence, a silence marked only by the occasional rustle of leaves. Vanyel hung his head and wrestled with his grief and hoped the youngster would take the hint and finally go away.

Tashir moved a little closer. 'I don't understand,' he said, humbly. 'I can't imagine what could have happened. Please -'

Vanyel took a deep, shuddering breath. Obviously the boy wasn't going to leave until he had his curiosity satisfied.

So tell him, and get it over with.

He looked back up at the remote and uncaring stars. ' 'Lendel was Savil's trainee when my father sent me to her because I wasn't the kind of man he thought I should be,' he began, trying to recite the words as if they described someone else. 'What I didn't know then was that he was afraid I was fey, and he was trying to keep me from being shaych. He kept me amazingly sheltered, really; I had no idea that - well, I suppose - anyway, I knew I was different, but I didn't know why.' His chest ached when he took a breath. 'I was disliked at home. The fosterlings, my brothers, they all figured me for Mother's darling. And I just couldn't seern to fit in with them. Granted, I didn't make much effort to be liked after a while, but - well.'

It was all coming back with the impact of something that had happened only yesterday. 'So Withen sent me off to Haven, where I was even more a stranger.' He tried to laugh; it sounded like a croak. 'I was put with Savil and her proteges, and Savil was supposed to 'make a man out of me' - turn me into something like Meke, I suppose. What Father didn't know was that her favorite protege 'Lendel was shaych - openly shaych. Exactly what he'd tried to keep me from. I was lonely and desperately unhappy, and 'Lendel was kind to me even when I was rotten to him. Then I found out certain things about him from other sources and suddenly a lot of inexplicable things about myself had answers.'

I watched you and wanted more from you than friendship - for days, weeks. And at the same time - I was so afraid. Not like this young fool is afraid; I was afraid that once I broke my isolation, you 'd hurt me like everyone else had. But you didn't, 'Lendel. At least not in the way I'd feared. And in the end, it wasn't you who hurt me; it was losing you -

'Things - happened. 'Lendel and I became lovers, then lifebonded. I know that now, I didn't know that then; all I knew then was that I'd have done anything for him, committed any crime to avoid losing him.'

'You weren't a Herald?''

'No, not even a trainee.' His eyes blurred and burned. Vanyel blinked, and tears splashed down onto the balustrade beside his hand. 'Tylendel had a twin; his twin was murdered in a feud. Murdered by magic. No one seemed willing to do anything about it. 'Lendel and Staven had been mindlinked; losing Staven drove him more than a little mad. He decided to take matters into his own hands, and I helped him by stealing the proscribed books of magic. I couldn't believe - I was outraged that no one had done anything about Staven's murder. I didn't know what I should have done, and I didn't see anything wrong with going out for revenge - especially not when 'Lendel was hurting so much. We slipped away on Sovvan-night -'

Dark and cold it was, and wind blowing fit to tear the clothes from your body. But not so dark and cold as the place inside 'Lendel that only revenge would heal - I thought. I only wanted him satisfied so I could have the Tylendel I knew back again. I never thought further than that.

'- we Gated to where the other family was celebrating. Since we were lifebonded and I had Mage-potential, 'Lendel could use my energy to make the Gate and his own to call up his vengeance. Which he did. He called up a pack of wyrsa and turned them loose.'

He felt the young man beside him shudder, but he was too caught in his memories to pay much attention. He could still see it; the image was burned into his mind for all time.

'Lendel, his face twisted with grief and rage, his eyes no longer gentle, and holding a black