Phoenix and Ashes

'But how am I going to learn anything—' she began, feeling alarm.

Sarah shushed her, shaking her head. 'Don't get yourself in a pother; after this, 'twill be much easier each time you free yourself.

You've made the spell answer to your will now. You've put your bit of a brick in the door; it can't entirely close now. D'ye see?'

She nodded; she did see. 'Then—Sarah, can we get help somehow?' She swallowed hard. If only someone would believe her in the village—

But Sarah shook her head. 'There's no magicians in the village at all but me, and no one else is going to see past the spells she's got in place about you to keep people from recognizing you or believing you.' She bit her lower lip. 'Well, someone who was completely shielded would, but my dear—someone with that sort of shielding would be a Master. Those spells were set with your blood too, and I don't know where or how.'

Eleanor closed her eyes for a moment to swallow down her bitter disappointment. 'I don't remember anything,' she admitted.

'You wouldn't. She probably set them outside the house, with the rags she used to clean up the kitchen after she took off your finger,' Sarah said. 'Otherwise people wouldn't be thinking that you're up at Oxford. Alison's set the spell to make anyone as sees you think you're some daft little servant girl she got through some charity place.'

'That's what the servants we used to have thought,' she said, slowly. 'So even if I could make people understand what I'm saying to them, they are still going to think I'm mad.' If she hadn't spent the last three years in complete misery, she might have been thrown into despair by this crushing of her hopes. 'Well, look at me!' She laughed bitterly, because no one would ever have recognized the old Eleanor Robinson, pampered and petted, in the work-worn, shabby creature she was now. 'Even without a spell, no one would know me! People don't look past clothing much, do they?'

Sarah shook her head. 'I'm sorry, love, no they don't. She doesn't need a spell to make you look like a scullery maid, does she?'

Eleanor felt the sting of tears in her eyes, and rubbed at them angrily with the back of her hand. This was a lesson in humility she hadn't thought she needed, and yet—when she thought of all the times she had looked right past anyone who was dressed as a low servant, expecting only to hear, at most, a low-voiced and humble 'Morning, miss,' paying no attention whatsoever to anything else that might come out of that person's mouth—

Oh, she had plenty of excuses for herself! That she couldn't help how she'd been brought up, that even the old vicar had on occasion preached sermons about knowing one's place—

Yes, but— Just because you were taught something didn't make it right.

She looked down at her work-worn hands. They were a bit better now, knuckles not quite so swollen, cracks healing, but she would never lose the muscle and the callus and have dainty lady's hands again. She might as well be one of them now, because that was what she looked like, and that was what everyone who saw her would think she was. Servants. The lower classes. Inconsequential, to be silent until spoken to, never to venture an opinion, much less disagree with what their betters said. Of course, they were too ignorant to know what was good for them. That was why God had placed others in authority over them, wasn't it? And the hierarchy of master over servant didn't end there, of course, because the servants themselves had their own hierarchy of greater and lesser, each class lording it over the one beneath. And on what justification? Because you were born into a particular family!

'Gad, Sarah, why don't they all rise up in the night and slit our throats?' she cried, looking up.

Sarah didn't seem at all confused by the outburst. 'I'm told.' she said dryly, 'That's what they're doing in Roosha. So the papers say. So Mad Ross says.'

She was distracted for a moment. 'Ross Ashley is still here in the village? Trying to make us all socialists?' Even before the war Ross had been notorious in Broom, with his membership in the Clarion Cycling Club, his socialist pamphlets and lectures, going about the country on his bicycle and standing up on soapboxes at church fetes and country fairs and singing 'The Red Flag' at the top of his lungs at every opportunity.

Sarah nodded, half wryly, half in sympathy. 'Oh, aye. Got conscripted, like everyone else, discharged last year, lost half his left hand when his rifle exploded, and lucky it didn't take all of it and his face, too. Got a quarter interest in a bicycle shop now with Alan Vocksmith. Alan's rifle blew up too; he lost an eye.'

The distraction served its purpose; she lost that first, hot rush of anger. She looked up at Sarah, setting her jaw. 'If I can ever break this magic, maybe I'll help him,' she said. 'But first, I have to break free.'

'That you do.' Sarah stood up and brushed off her apron. 'Let's make the first start.'