'Fooled you, didn't we?' Paco said.
'I'm afraid you did,' I said.
'We have to do something,' Chub said. 'This country is rapidly going the way of fascism. The spirit of the sixties can't be lost—'
'Christ,' Paco said. 'I'm going to join the fucking capitalists you don't shut up.'
Chapter 20
Another cold night, but not as cold as it had been at the Sixties Nest. The heat worked well here and there was some of it in every room, and the rooms were slightly larger and better-looking, much less depressing. Logs crackled pleasantly in the living room fireplace. Still, it wasn't comfortable. We'd slept sitting in armchairs, and to add insult to injury we were in Leonard's house, Howard and Trudy having spent the night in Leonard's bed, except when they took their turn sitting on the couch with their guns, watching us, looking as if at any moment a great Shootout was inevitable.
They had taken their watch together about midnight. I could see the clock on the fireplace mantel, could hear the bastard tick the minutes away as if dropping water on my head. Paco was sleeping somewhere in the kitchen and Chub was wrapped in blankets on the floor near the fireplace.
For lovers, Trudy and Howard didn't look at each other much. They sat on the couch at opposite ends. There didn't seem to be any electricity between them. They had become, at least in their minds, hard-nosed professionals in the last twenty-four hours.
They had all changed. With us prisoners, our captors had taken on an unconscious swagger. Maybe they hadn't wanted this to happen, us being out of step with their plans, but since it had, they were eating it up. It gave them reason to tote their guns. They were having a taste of revolutionary foreplay. Orgasm was anticipated.
I nodded in and out, watching Trudy and Howard watching me and Leonard, and came completely awake and reasonably rested to the sound of Chub groaning. Trudy was toeing him awake. 'Your turn,' she said. 'There's coffee. Don't go back to sleep.'
'Don't talk to me like a kid,' Chub said. Coming awake like that, he'd momentarily forgotten the lessons of analysis. How he wasn't bothered by anything.
'They got no respect for you because you're fat,' Leonard said.
I looked at Leonard. I hadn't noticed him coming awake, and he had awakened as grumpy and sarcastic as ever. No wonder he didn't have any lovers. Who'd want to wake up to Groucho Marx every morning?
'You get thick,' Leonard continued, 'everyone treats you like you're a talking pork chop.'
'You don't bother me,' Chub said. I doubted that. Earlier, before he bedded down, during one of my awake moments, I had seen him standing near the living room window, examining his reflection in the dark glass, and I could tell from the way his shoulders slumped that what he saw was not what he wanted to see. He got up, washed his face at the kitchen sink, drank a cup of coffee, got his gun from under his pillow, and took to the couch.
'We're going for a walk,' Trudy told him.
'Outside?' Chub said.
'No,' Howard said. 'We thought we'd circle the fucking couch.'
'Just asking. It's cold out there.'
'Say it is?' Howard said.
'You're all jumpy,' Chub said. 'Come on, we're in this together.' Chub's face wore the same sad look it had in that photo of him as a kid. He so desperately wanted to be treated like an equal, he couldn't help but act inferior.
Howard took a deep breath. 'Yeah, well listen, we get back, we'll help you take them for a bathroom break.'
'I got a big dick,' Leonard said, 'but it don't take but me to hold it while I piss.'
'We wouldn't want you to be lonely,' Howard said.
'What if we got to pee now?' Leonard said.
'Hold it,' Howard said.
'Is a number two, a doodie, any different?' Leonard asked.
'Hold that too,' Howard said.
Leonard looked at me. 'He's just too tough. When he talks I get this little rush in my loins, don't you?'
During this exchange Trudy had disappeared into the bedroom. She came out now wearing a bundle of clothes, her big lumberjill coat topping it off. 'Put something warm on,' she said to Howard.
He went into the bedroom and came out a few minutes later bundled as heavily as she was. They went out the front door. I closed my eyes and dozed.
Next time I came awake, it was to the sound of the back door opening and closing.
Trudy and Howard came in through the kitchen, red-faced from the cold. The bottoms of Howard's pants were spotted with wet dirt and the toes of his shoes were tipped with it. Trudy looked as clean and desirable as ever, even decked out like a little she bear in her winter coat.
I looked at the clock in spite of myself. Two-forty-eight. Time flies when you're having a good time.
Howard got his pretty little automatic out and pointed Leonard to the bathroom. When Leonard finished, I took my turn and went back to my chair.
