'Anyway,' Leonard said, 'I got a stack of
'Raul left a treasure like that?” I said.
'It was in the box I was supposed to mail to him. Couldn't find the toaster this morning, so I opened his goddamn box. He loved that fucking toaster 'cause it could do four slices of bread at once. He liked shit like that. If it could have done six slices of bread, he'd have peed on himself. Anyway, no toaster. He must have took that in the car. But he had most of my spoon drawer in the box, and those tapes.'
'That guy gone?” Leon asked.
'Raul?” Leonard said.
'One Clinton bounced around at the store,' Leon said. 'The other queer. No offense.'
'None taken. Yeah, he's gone. He comes back, don't give him a rough time, though. I ain't mad at him. Just tell him I'll be back, if he cares. I don't figure he'll be around though.'
'Can we have girls over?” Leon asked, scratching at the scum around his eye.
'As long as it doesn't get out of hand,' Leonard said. 'I don't want to come home to broken furniture. And guys, use a rubber, okay? And I don't mean share one between you. AIDS is goin' around.'
'Using a rubber's like taking a shower in a raincoat,' Clinton said. 'It ain't no fun.'
'Hey, it's your dick,' Leonard said. 'You're too stupid to take care of it, that's your problem. I hope the women are smarter. I'll call you later.'
'You might start my pickup now and then, let it run awhile,' I said. 'This cold weather, it doesn't get run a bit, it'll freeze up. I like to circulate the antifreeze. If you'd rather just drain the radiator, go ahead. Key is on the kitchen table. Merry Christmas, guys.'
Leonard got his suitcase and we went out to his car.
As Leonard was backing out of the driveway, I said, 'That was goddamn surreal.'
'Yep,' Leonard said. 'Leon and Clinton, they're Andre Breton kind of guys. They're proof positive you ought not let people shoot a few baskets with your head. Let's you and me go to Burger King and have breakfast. I feel expansive.'
'Who the fuck are those guys anyway?'
'They tried to beat me up. I whupped those motherfuckers like I was dustin' a rug.'
'Both of them!'
'Not at the same time. On different days. They got word I was queer, so they jumped Raul at the Community Store. Didn't really hurt him, but roughed him up. Broke his Dr Pepper bottle. Scrambled a couple of his moon pies. Just took them in their hands and twisted them up inside the plastic wrappers. Really made them hard to eat. I went down to the store after it happened and found one of them—one with the left eye looks like it's got a disease, Leon, and kicked his ass so bad they had to carry him off. Kicked that muscle in the back of his leg so hard it paralyzed it for a while.'
'Old Thai boxing trick,' I said.
'Yep. Later that day, his brother came over to the house with a baseball bat, started beating on the door. I went out the back way and cracked him over the head with the barrel of my shotgun. Knocked him on his black ass.'
'Of course, you didn't hurt him while he was down.'
'That wouldn't be right. I just kicked him a little. Until both his eyes closed. They got so they like me now. They want I should teach them some self-defense.'
'Jesus,' I said.
Couple hours later we were out at my house in the country. I didn't light the heaters, but I made sure the water in the faucets was still dripping, then I threw some clothes together. Leonard had brought his pipe and tobacco with him, and while I packed he filled the pipe and lit it.
'Bring a gun,' he said.
'I don't like guns,' I said. 'Bringing one causes trouble. Guns lead to guns.'
'And if the other guy brings one and you don't, it causes you trouble. It leads to you being dead.'
'It's all right with you, I'll pass. I thought we were just going to find Florida. I didn't think we were planning a shootout at the O.K. Corral.'
'You're a little short on reality sometimes, Hap.'
'I guess you're right. I suppose you brought a gun?'
'Shotgun. Broke it down, wrapped it in plastic. Got a couple revolvers and a couple of Winchester thirty-thirtys, not dismantled. Ammunition. It's all in the trunk.'
'How about the gyro copter?'
'Trunk.”
Chapter 6
On the way to Grovetown, Leonard put a Hank Williams cassette in the player and we listened to that. I never got to play what I liked. I wanted to bring some cassettes of my own, but Leonard said it was his car, so we'd listen to his music. He didn't care much for what I liked. Sixties rock and roll.
