'They're closing up the Kmart?'
'Tighter than a Republican's wallet.'
'You white Democrats, you get on my nerves.'
'Yeah, well what I can't stand is a black man doesn't have enough sense to know not to vote Republican. Shit, man. You look like a fuckin' fool in that hat.'
'Let's not talk politics, Hap. It upsets your tummy. And I look fine in hats . . . Did Charlie ask about me?'
'Nope.'
'Well, shit.'
'Raul back?'
'No. But Leon said the
Chapter14
We drove across the street to the Chief's office and went inside. The lady with the wasp nest hairdo was behind her desk. The little Christmas tree was still in place, surrounded by its city of cards. She eyed Leonard as carefully and frightfully as the day before. He smiled at her, slow and suggestful, like he might be thinking about how nice it would be to fondle her hair.
There was a thirtyish officer in a straw cowboy hat and a tan uniform looking in a file cabinet drawer nearby. He pretended not to notice our coming in. Leonard asked the secretary if the Chief was in, and the officer pulled a file from the drawer, slowly turned, pretended he had just noticed us, and smiled.
'Something I can do for you fellas?' he said. 'I'm Officer Reynolds.'
He was a big man with a big belly and little pocks-on his face. He'd pinched too much acne as a youth. His straw hat was expensive, with a rattlesnake band and a little red feather stuck in it. He had a Western-style revolver almost big as a howitzer in his holster. Three Tootsie Roll Pops stuck out of his shirt pocket next to a pen that, from the stain at the bottom of his pocket, appeared to have exploded. Belly or no belly, he looked like someone you wouldn't want to mess with, especially if he didn't like you. He had a face said he didn't like much of anything, except maybe a Tootsie Roll Pop.
Leonard took off his straw hat, said, 'There. I feel smarter already.'
Reynolds grinned. 'Hell, I heard about you fellas.'
'Yeah?' Leonard said. 'I hope it was good.'
'Oh no,' said Reynolds. 'I heard y'all was meddlers.'
'Meddlers?' I said.
'Yeah,' he said. 'I heard you two limp dicks—sorry, ma'am.'
The lady at the desk turned bright red and began to shuffle papers. Reynolds smiled at her, said, 'Why don't you get some coffee, Charlene?'
Charlene opened her desk drawer, took out a cup that had some kind of cartoon on it, scuttled in one place for a moment, her shoes making a lot of noise, like a poodle with overlong toe-nails turning in a circle. Finally, she disappeared without a word from the room.
Reynolds turned back to us. He still had that nice smile. 'She goes to a lot of church. Words like dick cause her consternation.'
'Ah,' I said.
'Consternation,' Leonard said. 'That's a big word for a police officer, ain't it?'
'Maybe,' said Officer Reynolds, placing the file on top of the cabinet. 'I also have a few nice phrases. Like 'The nigra died slowly and painfully after a methodical beating.' '
'Nigra is one of those words that always bothers me,' Leonard said. 'It's not quite respectful. Like 'Negro,' but the talker can't seem to go all the way and say what he or she really wants to say, which is 'nigger.' '
'I work for law enforcement,' said Reynolds. 'I am one third of the Grovetown Police Force. Me, the Chief, and Charlene, we're not allowed to call you a goddamn shit-eating nigger. That wouldn't be right. Sir.'
'It's certainly nice to talk to a public servant,' Leonard said, 'but your boss, he does say nigger. We've heard him.'
Reynolds didn't respond. He spent some time checking Leonard out, and Leonard checked him in return.
Reynolds was larger by a head than Leonard with wider shoulders. Big in the belly but hard-looking, with massive arms and tree trunk legs. Leonard isn't all that big, but he's got the look. One that tells anyone with half a brain that he can be dangerous. But there was a part of me that knew this Reynolds character was no lightweight either. He had the look too, like a man who had seen the elephant and seen it well, and maybe even put his arm up its ass and pulled its intestines out.
He and Leonard went toe-to-toe, I'd put my money on Leonard. But maybe because he was a sentimental favorite and I knew I'd help him.
Reynolds put his thick fingers together and pressed and popped them. He leaned against the file cabinet, still smiling, one hand resting on the butt of his revolver. His fingers looked like thick roots, his knuckles like lug bolts. He said: 'I hear you two gentlemen are acting like you're some kind of law or something.'
'We heard the same thing about y'all,' Leonard said.
Reynolds's smile changed just enough to allow his top lip to snarl. 'You think I can't arrest you for messing with a sworn-in law officer? You think I won't get tired of this and chunk your ass behind bars?'
