The Two-Bear Mambo

Fucking walls are like they're made out of starter logs, which I guess is okay, seeing how I'm lighting the fire. “

'I didn't hear you say that,' said Charlie.

'I got money,' I said. 'My treat all around.'

Charlie eased away from the curb. I took a last look at the burning house. Some timbers were sagging and crashing in with an explosion of sparks and smoke. Raul was standing on Leonard's porch watching us drive by. Leonard looked in Raul's direction. Neither of them waved.

I said, 'Oh, Leonard, don't let me forget. We ever get back, I got your Christmas present in the pickup.'

'Yeah, well,' Leonard said, 'I hope it ain't HIS and HIS towels.'

Chapter 2

We were in Lieutenant Hanson's office finishing off what was left of our yogurt cones, but the Lieutenant wasn't there. Considering we hadn't bought him anything, I guess that was best.

Charlie was sitting behind Hanson's desk. I was in a chair against one wall, and Leonard was in a chair against the other. We were supposed to be in a cell like Mohawk and the little guy with the burned head and the others, but we weren't. You might say we were getting special treatment. We were also getting a shadow show.

Charlie had the overhead light out and he had the desk lamp on, and he was using his fingers to throw shadows on the wall, make shapes. He did a pretty good dog and duck, but after that everything else looked like a spider.

'How about that?” Charlie said. 'How's that?'

'It still looks like a spider,' I said.

'I got to practice some more,' Charlie said. 'I got me a book now. Wife says I ought to have a hobby, so I got this. It relaxes me, but the wife thinks it ain't much. She wants me to go to the gym and work out, but this way, I can stay home and sit in the easy chair with the big light out, use the end-table light to throw a few shadows. I get tired of it, I watch a little TV. Look here, this one looks like a pussy, don't it?'

'How in hell do you get a cat out of that?” I said.

'No, a pussy. You know, a vagina. Women have 'em.'

'Oh, yeah,' I said. 'I faintly remember.'

'Look here, it does, don't it? It's kind of a dark V, ain't it?'

'It looks like a spider with its legs pulled in,' Leonard said. 'And don't tell me that book of yours has a section on shadow vaginas.'

Charlie stuck out his middle finger and wiggled it. 'This one's for you, Leonard.'

A blue suit opened the door and light flooded in and the blue suit came in with it. He stopped and looked at Charlie and Charlie's hand shadow.

'What's this look like to you?” Charlie asked him.

'What?'

'The shadow, Jake, the shadow.'

'Oh. I don't know. It looks like a shadow.'

'Swell,' Charlie said.

'Hey, listen,' Jake said. 'Chief ain't in—'

'Surprise, surprise,' Charlie said.

'And Lieutenant Hanson's out.'

'He's on his way.'

'Well, we got a guy in cell three, he wants we should call his wife, tell her to tape a National Geographic special on bears. We got to do it now, he gets to catch it. It starts in fifteen minutes.'

'What?” Charlie asked.

'He's gonna miss it,' Jake said. ' 'Cause he's gonna be here tonight. Drunk and disorderly.'

'What the hell does he think we're running here?” Charlie said, not looking at Jake, but wiggling his fingers in such a way that brought him back to his shadow shape standards. A dog,

which he made a barking sound for, then a duck, which he quacked for.

'I'll tell him no,' Jake said.

'I guess you will,' Charlie said. 'I can't believe you came to me with that shit. Wait a minute. “Charlie swiveled in the chair and looked at the cop. 'A National Geographic special?'

'On bears,' Jake said.

'Hell, call her. I ought to be glad it's not Charlie's Angels, some shit like that. Maybe we're getting a better class of criminal in here. Go on and do it.'

'All right,' Jake said, and closed the door.

'Can we go?” Leonard said.