I opened the back seat door and tapped him on the leg. He squirmed, and I tapped him again. When he rolled over, he had a pistol in his hand.
I said, “Howdy.”
He put the gun away, mumbled something and sat up. He rubbed his neck and the back of his head and finally said, “First thing I want to do when I can is jack off, take a good shower, and sleep in a good bed. Maybe eat a steak and a bag of vanilla cookies. I need some cheering up.”
“I don’t feel so spiffy myself,” I said.
“Me neither,” Brett said.
“Sorry about that masturbation line,” Leonard said.
“That’s all right,” Brett said. “I’d like a good fingering myself.”
“Herman is going to help Brett find Tillie,” I said.
Leonard nodded, got out of the car and leaned against it. He said, “That’s good. I’m glad. When are we going?”
“Pretty quick,” I said.
“Those two,” Leonard said. “Can we trust them?”
“Herman, maybe,” I said. “Red, not at all. There’s other problems. We got to go to Mexico sneaky like. We can’t just walk across the border with our guns and enough ammunition to start a revolution.”
“Any idea how we’ll do that?” Leonard asked.
“Herman claims he has a border connection,” Brett said. “But it’ll cost us some money. A thousand dollars. I got the money, so if Herman’s telling the truth, that’s done.”
“I don’t know,” Leonard said. “I wouldn’t trust either one of ’em far as I could throw ’em. Though, the midget I could probably toss pretty far.”
“I hate that little shit,” Brett said. “Far as I’m concerned, I’d put up a hoop and watch you make baskets with him.”
“What’s it going to be?” I said. “We going to trust Herman or not?”
“I have to,” Brett said.
“No you don’t,” Leonard said. “We go Herman’s way, but we don’t trust him. We keep our eyes open and don’t get too lax. I say we put Red in the trunk again.”
“Suits me,” Brett said.
“Not me,” I said.
“Always the fuckin’ humanitarian,” Leonard said.
“He could get gassed, die on us.”
“Your point?” Brett said.
“Amusing,” I said. “But it could happen.”
“He’s right,” Leonard said. “Then we got a dead midget to explain. Another point, we do this thing Herman wants, pay this guy to get us across the Mexican border with our weapons, what then? What about The Farm?”
“I asked him that,” I said. “The Farm is a way station and pleasure house for the Bandito Supremes. Where they are, they feel pretty safe. Got authorities paid off, and there aren’t any immediate authorities anyway.”
“Recreation,” Brett said. “That’s what they’re doing with Tillie. She’s just meat for them. These Bandito Supremes want a little R and R, well, Tillie’s there for them. Sort of like a piece of equipment in a rec room. It’s disgusting.”
“Way you got to look at it, Brett, is like this,” Leonard said. “She ain’t doin’ nothin’ she wasn’t already doin’. She’s doin’ more of it and maybe in rougher circumstances, but it’s not a new experience, so it’s not necessarily a worse life than before. Important thing is, we’re gonna go in there and get her.”
“Herman says the place really isn’t guarded that well,” I said. “There’s so many of them they don’t worry much.”
“How many?” Leonard asked.
“It can vary from time to time,” I said. “Depends.”
“So there could be fifty or a hundred?”
“It’s possible. But there could be three.”
“That’s my man,” Leonard said. “Still looking for that pony.”
“Pony?” Brett said.
“Tell you later,” I said.
“Anyway,” Leonard said, “we’re going to cross the border with all our little guns, then we’re going to waltz in there and shoot the shit out of fifty, maybe a hundred guys. Or maybe three guys, and we’re going to take Tillie with us, get back across the border, and head for the house. That doesn’t sound like much of a plan, Hap.”
“Herman thinks we can maybe do it at night,” I said. “Go in and get Tillie and not cause too much of a ruckus. He knows the place well, and he knows the country around there fairly well.”
“Here’s the good part,” Brett said. “Herman’s connection, he hasn’t seen in ten years. That doesn’t work out,
